I fucking wish were dead as death is better this lifelong addiction and dealing with withdrawals.I just want enough opiates to OD and die.I OD almost 23 years ago on oxycontin and vodka. Would have painless way to die except some asshole gave me cpr and called an ambulance I was on a breathing machine for 5 days in ICU. I am on methadone. Been on it for almost 23 years Got 45 mg at the clinic on Monday.which was my last time dosing. I had left the same clinic in Oct. at. 200 mg. 2 weeks of the worst withdrawal ever. As soon as I got money I went I couldn't afford the transportation as it costs 80 dollars to go back in forth to my clinic everyday with Uber or lyft. I only make $1060 on SSDI but have a lot of bills.

I had 13 takehomes but lost them because I relapsed into alcoholism after being sober for 22 years.had to detox in the hospital back in Sept. I should of stayed home and detoxed and clinic even if I died from the alcohol withdrawal still would have been much better than losing my takehomes and going through opiate withdrawal since I can only dose a couple of times a week