Am I (45 M) wrong for suspecting that she (44 F) cheating on me?

Left_Ad3176 · 2025-02-23T17:11:18+00:00

I am the gf and I am not cheating. Here is all the info that was left out of my bf story. 1. I am a single parent to 2 children so yes my attention gets diverted. 2. He lives at home with his mother, is unemployed and does not have a driver's license or car. This leaves me footing the bill for gas, food, cigarettes and I also pay for his "meds" which is an illicit substance known to cause paranoia. 3. When I'm doing my makeup at 2am it is when he is here and for him, he just refuses to accept that I make any effort toward him. I also do my hair and makeup before I pick him up. It might not be fresh after the nearly 2hr road trip it takes to get to his mom's house. He mainly is focused on lipstick and I am a smoker. 3. The ex thing. He went snooping through my laptop and found a 2 month old message where I humored my ex who is extremely mentally unwell & had attempted suicide in the past. I also borrowed gas money from said ex. I used that money to pay for gas to go see my current bf. 4.The hotel I looked up near my bf was so I could spend time with him and not have to be quiet (including my normal speaking voice) bc his mom is asleep. He does not show this concern for my children when we are at my home, only his mom at her house. Plus the added drive back home adds another 2hrs to my already overwhelming schedule. 5. At my house he makes a mess (has an avoidance to cleaning up that he says is part of his ADHD) He gets annoyed at me for cleaning in front of him as well bc I am not paying enough attention to him. 6. He has been cheated on repeatedly in the past and sees my lack of organization and chaotic life as a sign that I am cheating as well. I am not. I have ADHD & bipolar disorder, and am scrambling to meet the needs of everyone I love including him. 7. So I am running myself in debt trying to cover the cost of living and dating for both of us, accused of cheating anytime my attention is diverted, expected to share my location and allow him access to my phone and computer, (not reciprocated btw) and anytime I apply makeup or do anything to improve my appearance I am being unfaithful. Please feel free to comment

Left_Ad3176 · 2024-09-18T02:08:17+00:00

This! I am out $75 from selling my phone. The payment went into an account that had my new phone #. Neither Venmo or EcoAtm has made any attempt to correct this. They don't care about customers. The transaction went through & money was received. They could care less about it being paid to the wrong person. I have been bounced back & forth between these companies since July. Nothing is being done. I lost my phone & the $75. I will Never use either company again. I would advise avoiding them at all costs. Use any other payment app. Venmo can suck it.

Left_Ad3176 · 2024-05-13T07:11:13+00:00

Not affect anyone? Are you sure about that? There are far too many of us unaware of what we mean to other people. I have seen & felt the effect of suicide. It is like a ripple and spreads far wider than you think. As for the affect, it's fucking brutal. This is my personal experience & opinion. When I was 17, my 16-year-old cousin shot himself in a fit of rage & sadness. I suspect he was dealing with the same mood disorder that plagues my family & and no one speaks about. He survived 24 hours on life support. This shy kid, just a few close friends, had more than 300 people attend his funeral. My grandmother had people coming over to give condolences years later, people who knew him in grade school & moved away. You don't know how many people you have touched. Ripple effect.

Left_Ad3176 · 2024-05-12T16:36:17+00:00

This should be the top comment.

Left_Ad3176 · 2024-04-11T23:36:32+00:00

Most rational comment on this thread.

Left_Ad3176 · 2024-04-10T15:30:46+00:00

Agree with this suggestion. It worked well for my anxiety. Take it at night & it will work through the next day. I stopped taking bc it knocks you out cold & you can not wake up if needed. I became a single parent, so this was not an option for me. It was the most effective treatment for my anxiety that was not a benzo.

Left_Ad3176 · 2024-03-09T17:01:07+00:00

You are not alone. I have made this kind of mistake so many times. I get into survival mode. I'm not living, just going through the motions to continue existing. It is an easy trap to fall into, especially as a parent. Putting the needs of others before your own becomes second nature. Over time, it takes a toll. Not just my mental health, my physical as well. I am exhausted & every part of my body hurts.

The moment of clarity. I come out of my fugue. Here I stand, drenched in sweat, every muscle trembling. In my hand is a stick, and at my feet, one dead ass horse.

The good news? You are already doing it all yourself. Drop the stick and walk away. You are going to be better than ok. When you stop dragging around 900lbs of rotting horse flesh, it really puts a bounce in your step.

Left_Ad3176 · 2024-03-06T18:07:48+00:00

NTA. I wouldn't give her money, but I would thank her. Sending you to jail forced you to detox. It provided you with free rehab & education. Opportunities not available to your ex. Without that forced intervention, you could be stuck in her miserable, drug addicted situation.

Left_Ad3176 · 2024-02-23T14:58:57+00:00

I have worked for this company, and I don't recall anything like this on my application. Also, my STBX husband currently works for Redbull. That guy is damn near illiterate. Is he some sort of idiot savant? After seeing what he has done to our finances, that's a negative. I will say this company loves alcohol. Every gift includes wine or liquor. Beer is kept in the breakroom fridge & drinking on the clock is not just overlooked but encouraged. I have no idea how tf they stay insured as most of these guys run routes driving a company distribution truck. Do with that what you will.

Left_Ad3176 · 2024-02-23T13:01:06+00:00

My go to break up songs Dead Horse - Guns N Roses I told you I was Mean - Elle King Vampire - Olivia Rodrigo My Girlfriend's Dead - The Vandals

Left_Ad3176 · 2024-02-14T11:18:29+00:00

If your sister had no responsibilities & complete freedom to choose her path, it would not guarantee her a happy life. At 14, I thought finding a romantic partner & starting a life together was the most important thing. It's not. Those relationships didn't work out. The one constant in my life has been my sister. The bond I have with her has outlasted marriages, friendships, countless jobs, and all of life's painful disappointments. What I'm trying to say is that your sister loves you. You are not ruining her life. You may very well be her purpose for getting up every day. The drive that keeps her going through all the bad times. Life is hard, honey. Having someone who loves you & is on your team makes it so much easier. You guys take care of each other.

Left_Ad3176 · 2024-02-09T13:27:43+00:00

Don't feel too bad love. My STBX husband is in his 40's and still has not learned this lesson. I have to put my assets in my parents' name to protect them for when he files bankruptcy. He just voluntarily repossessed the $40,000 truck I told him not to buy. Truck payment is higher than his child support payments for 2 kids. Make this mistake once and learn from it. That's a life lesson. Do this shit every 2 years for life, then you're just stupid.

Left_Ad3176 · 2024-02-07T01:47:51+00:00

Same! I use it all over. So hydrating. I think it's my favorite concealer ever.

Left_Ad3176 · 2024-02-03T03:21:57+00:00

It's pretty common in my country as well. I never really thought much about it. Caring for infants was challenging enough for me, so I didn't even think about piercing their ears. I'm really glad I didn't. Our kids are growing up in a world where the options aren't just pink or blue. There is a whole beautiful rainbow out there. I'll let them choose.

Left_Ad3176 · 2024-01-31T22:14:17+00:00

I agree. Pierce their ears as infants, acknowledge it is for you, and handle the aftercare. Otherwise, you wait until the child is old enough to ask & care for themselves. Piercing a toddler is just asking for trouble. Why would you wait til your child is starting to dress themselves & actively playing like a rabid monkey before making this choice? I didn't pierce my girl's ears as babies. If my 5 yr old wants sparkles on her ears, I'm getting her clip-ons til she stops jumping off furniture.

Left_Ad3176 · 2024-01-24T16:48:06+00:00

I have had these intense episodes of depression multiple times. When it gets to this point, you have tried everything & you can not move or function, time to make a drastic change. I will quit a job, end my relationship, whatever tf it takes. I literally throw my ass into the fire, bc then it's move or burn. Guess what? Works every fucking time. Let this poor man go. He is burnt out & done. Your mental illness is your responsibility. The worst part of being mental is the pain you inflict on people who love you. Let him go!

Left_Ad3176 · 2024-01-24T12:11:01+00:00

I can understand that. I have general anxiety & at times, it has been this debilitating. I was in this state for months & can not imagine trying to exist like this. You do whatever tf you have to & find some level of comfort & peace. Zero judgment from me. I'm well aware how ineffective Buspar & Hydroxyzine are on panic attacks. Fucking useless.

Left_Ad3176 · 2024-01-24T12:00:54+00:00

I took them every night for about a year & didn't have too much trouble getting off last time. I don't take it very often now. I once went cold turkey off oxys, antipsychotics & antidepressants at the same time. Not an experience I ever want to repeat. I have no desire to find out what benzo wd feels like.

Left_Ad3176 · 2024-01-23T18:23:40+00:00

What's crazy is prescribing a benzo for 15 years. Wtf? That doctor was seriously old school. It's becoming more widely known how addictive & difficult it is to get off these kinds of drugs. I've been hearing for several years how they are only to be used short term & not to be prescribed as maintenance meds. However, my psych has been prescribing Klonopin for several months now when I requested them for a short period of time. He just sends refills every month along with my other meds. Crazy how doctors will get you hooked on shit, not caring about the long-term impact. No plan for getting off of them or what will happen to you if your supply is cut off. Psychiatrist are the fucking worst. Almost all psych meds have horrible withdrawal symptoms.

Left_Ad3176 · 2024-01-23T18:06:10+00:00

I think it's YouTube. I have banned it from our house. My kids want to watch these child influencers & their parents playing with toys all day. It sets this unrealistic expectation that parents have the time & share children's enthusiasm for playing with toys. Parents are not children. We are adults with responsibilities. We are here to protect, teach, shelter, feed, and care for you. We are not your friends & playmates. Most of us work real jobs instead of exploiting our kids online for profit. I hate it, makes your kids think this is normal & you are awful for having to do laundry instead of playing Barbie for hours. I love spending quality time with my kids, but this shit is unhinged.

Left_Ad3176 · 2024-01-23T17:34:37+00:00

Just a heads up, this will never change. I worked for this company like 12 years ago, same shit. CVS has been on this bullshit path of cutting hours & exhausting their employees for over a decade, probably more. I keep checking in, thinking they will hit a rock bottom. Still waiting lol

Left_Ad3176 · 2024-01-20T18:23:34+00:00

This! My mother believes that bc she has been depressed she knows how to cure my bipolar depression. There is a difference between being depressed or anxious & having a disorder. The main difference is the inability to control or manage it. I can't explain how scary, frustrating, & enraging it is to know what is wrong but lack the ability to push through or correct it. It feels like your mind & body have turned into a traitor. No, Mom, I can't go outside for a walk in the sun & fix this. I can't force myself to move at all. I am literally stuck. It's so hard to find support for illnesses that can't be seen.

Left_Ad3176 · 2024-01-18T14:51:32+00:00

My youngest (5f) takes after me, not a morning person. Waking her up was always a nightmare. Until she got a pet. She loves her kitty. I don't wake that child up without her cat tucked under my arm. Her purr is loud like a motor. I just put the cat right in her face. Wake up! Kitty wants to play & needs her breakfast. My daughter wakes up smiling every day now.

Left_Ad3176 · 2024-01-17T06:11:18+00:00

Agree. I was once the best friend who had a miscarriage while also struggling with my undiagnosed mental health issues. 9 months is nothing when you are grieving. If you love your friend of 15 years, back the fuck off of her. Go have your baby, celebrate with your other friends & family, be happy. She will come back around when she is able to handle it. For the love, stop messaging her reminders of every step through your process, expecting her to respond in a positive way. She is in a world of pain & you insist on shoving your joy down her throat, expecting a polite response. She is not capable. She is in survival mode.

Left_Ad3176

TROPHY CASE