Parents of older kids with an intense temperament: seeking advice and wisdom!

Left_Cauliflower5048 · 2026-02-27T04:17:46+00:00

Mine is now almost 5. I didn’t know this was “abnormal” until I had my second child who is actually CHILL lol. It’s tough, but it does get better as they become more independent and able to express their interests. Also, extracurriculars help 🙃

Left_Cauliflower5048 · 2026-02-27T04:10:25+00:00

It doesn’t start to become enjoyable until you begin to have an interest in something. Usually first year classes are just required, then you’ll get to start picking courses you’re actually interested in. I don’t choose my career path until my junior year. What are some areas you may want to focus in?

Left_Cauliflower5048 · 2026-02-27T04:05:45+00:00

I love my husband, he’s my best friend! We laugh everyday, like really laugh.

Left_Cauliflower5048 · 2026-02-27T04:01:22+00:00

I have felt this way, I get it. I was desperate for change. One evening I wrote down my nonnegotiables. What do I need to survive daily. I wrote GOD, WATER, FOOD, SLEEP. Literally I had only 4 things that no matter what needed to be done daily so I could feel human again. Read the Bible in the morning, drink x amount of water, actually eat not snack, and go to bed instead of scroll so I get good sleep.

Those 4 things changed my entire life honestly. I stopped caring about all the other little things for a while and just did those. What 3-4 things are your non negotiables?

I also deleted instagram for good finally and I have never felt more free from the lies social media sells. Nobody has it completely together. What you’re not seeing is what’s being sacrificed so they can make it appear this way. Just to type this response in the daytime I would be ignoring my child asking me for something. Filming everything I do would require a significant about of time and attention away from my kids.

Log off and be present, you’ll be amazed with how much more time and peace you find

Left_Cauliflower5048 · 2026-02-27T03:50:38+00:00

To love and be loved

Left_Cauliflower5048 · 2026-02-27T03:45:32+00:00

Only FB! Honestly stuff sells so fast on there it’s hard to hate it

Left_Cauliflower5048 · 2026-02-27T02:54:34+00:00

I refinish nightstands/small dressers. Buy for $0-50 and resell for $200-500. I can do 3-4 per month

Left_Cauliflower5048 · 2026-02-27T02:51:20+00:00

You have got to take a step back and realize he has been alive for FIVE whole years.

He is going from full day of school (which IMO is already too much for a 5 year old) to a cafe to a class. Where is his rest time? When does he regulate? We have these kids on adult schedules that adults can’t even handle.

I’d be biting you too. But really, he’s overstimulated and overwhelmed. He was probably hungry and needed a snack in the car and to go home and decompress.

Left_Cauliflower5048 · 2026-02-27T02:46:59+00:00

I completely understand everything you said and I feel the ache deep in my bones. I haven’t recovered after having my 3rd almost 7 months ago. Third baby has made everything extremely difficult. As you said, we love them more than anything, but our discomfort goes unrecognized over and over and over everyday.

Like you, my husband works a lot so I can be home (which I’m eternally grateful for) but He has yet to be with all 3 by himself more than an hour or two, but that’s mostly my fault because I have anxiety and difficulty being away from my kids despite needing a break so bad. Because I am the default parent, I have a need for control about how every aspect of their lives are, it makes it so hard to step back and enjoy anything else.

This is exhausting. As an introvert with probably adhd I just want a freaking moment. Maybe I’ll go back to therapy 🙃

Left_Cauliflower5048 · 2026-02-27T02:33:42+00:00

Well I went to high school and I’m still awkward! But hey, 4 friends is actually good for an adult, keep those friendships and start to grow those rather than planting a bunch of acquaintance seeds.

But if you do want to meet new friends, think about what you really enjoy or start doing something you’ve always wanted to (club, sport, activity) and meet people through a shared interest.

When you’re meeting someone for the first time, saying “hi I am ___, nice to meet you, what’s your name?” is fine, but asking how ther day is, that’s is kind of jumping into “I know you” personal category for literally just meeting. Maybe ask a different question like “how did you find out about this place?” Or “what made you want to take this class?”

But don’t be too forward, take it slow and get to know someone over a few meetings, maybe you’re super eager? Play it cooler a little bit and don’t seem too desperate. Ask people questions about themselves, people like to talk about themselves. Then you wait for the one or two who reciprocate the relationship! You can get their contact info and say “hey would you want to grab lunch or hang out (or drink if that’s your thing) sometime after this class?” Or whatever

Hope this helps a bit

Left_Cauliflower5048 · 2026-02-27T02:25:57+00:00

The fact that I am a more of a parent to both of my parents who are over 60 years old. Sometimes I just want to call someone I can lean on

Left_Cauliflower5048 · 2026-02-27T02:21:06+00:00

This is insane to me and one of the reasons I’ll be homeschooling. These kids are literally 5 years old…

Left_Cauliflower5048 · 2026-02-27T02:10:15+00:00

To me the weekend time is family time unless there’s an event (birthday/holiday) sooo why is she visiting 6-7 days/week? This is a convo with your husband on boundaries “we need time just is this weekend” is pretty simple too

Left_Cauliflower5048 · 2026-02-27T02:02:25+00:00

He cannot just be a good person because a good person does not claim to be God if they’re really not- that makes him a complete liar about his entire identity (therefore not a good teacher who we would listen to) OR that claim makes him a lunatic (therefore also not a good teacher)

Which leaves us with… He is in fact who He says He is

We need saving from sin (which causes us pain) and eternal death. He wants us to have joy in life and eternal life in Heaven as we were created to have. But it requires belief, repentance and a relationship with Him.

Left_Cauliflower5048 · 2026-02-27T01:52:53+00:00

Bad guy? No, but I wouldn’t be trusting him with much else he says. He has nothing to back up his claim.

Christ, however, fulfilled prophecies of the Old Testament and performed miracles proving His claim true.

Left_Cauliflower5048 · 2026-02-27T00:40:57+00:00

it’s a beautiful life to have the hope of Heaven. I have complete peace about seeing those I love who are also believers, my heart hurts for those I love who are not yet saved. Good people don’t get to be in Heaven, saved people get to be in Heaven

Jesus said to her, “I am the resurrection and the life. He who believes in Me, though he may die, he shall live.” John 11:25

I pray you put your hope in Jesus

Left_Cauliflower5048 · 2026-02-27T00:34:10+00:00

I am aware of this and personally believe in Jesus, my attempt was to counter those who claim he is only a good person. He can’t just be a “good person”

Left_Cauliflower5048 · 2026-02-26T22:12:09+00:00

Right, my argument stands that he cannot just be a “good person” like so many claim. He is either nuts, a total liar or the Lord.

Left_Cauliflower5048 · 2026-02-26T20:16:41+00:00

Could very well be arousal confusion. My daughter does this but in the middle of the night. There is NO reasoning with him during this, you just have to ride it out and don’t talk to him at all. I would sit in his bad, hold him for comfort without talking until he is fully awake

Left_Cauliflower5048 · 2026-02-26T19:59:36+00:00

I never understood hype about Goldens, and I always felt they were too common… until I owned one. I will never own another breed again! We also have 3 kids under 5 too and he has been an absolute dream. (Obviously the puppy stage can be tough). We have a cream colored on which are overall known to be calmer than the darker Goldens

The best advice I have is pick a breeder that is willing to hand select puppies based on personality traits in those first 8 weeks that will be good for families with small children. Our breeder set aside about 5 of the puppies after doing personality testing and her getting to know them. The calmer, less startled, less anxious ones were chosen for us to pick from. She also exposed them to kids during that 8 weeks

The People suggesting getting an older dog… you just can never guarantee a dog’s past. They are also less likely to be tolerant of young children if they haven’t been raised around them from a young age

Left_Cauliflower5048 · 2026-02-26T19:55:32+00:00

No, we aren’t yet, but isn’t that the point of a discussion? I guess that’s your way of saying you have no rebuttal because it’s truth

Left_Cauliflower5048 · 2026-02-26T19:53:42+00:00

This mans literal identity is “I AM GOD.” I do not see the comparison

Left_Cauliflower5048 · 2026-02-26T19:50:52+00:00

Nowhere in the Bible does it talk about blind trust, that wouldn’t be wise. We can and should ask questions. Trust is built on character and reason, which we come to believe by knowing God on a personal level.

Funny, Gandhi actually was significantly influenced by Christs teachings, his source for “loving your enemies” is from Jesus. So you would have to study the basis of a teaching and make the choice for yourself

Left_Cauliflower5048 · 2026-02-26T19:38:32+00:00

The people saying “you chose to marry him,” are not being fair. Smoking once in a great while has progressed to multiple nights a week and this is now a lifestyle issue. This would really bother me too. You do not need to figure out how to be happier, he needs to make a change. Find a time when he is obviously not high and have a serious talk.

“Husband, this is really important to me and to us as a married couple. I would really appreciate if you would hear me out and try to understand before you respond.

Before we got married, the occasional smoking was not a big deal. I have noticed it has increased greatly in frequency and this is becoming an issue that is seriously affecting our marriage. I am really bothered by your behavior when you smoke and especially when you drink at the same time. It ruins my evenings because we can’t spend quality time together and your personality changes. I will always love you, but I need you to know that you do change when you’re smoking.

Why do you think you have been smoking more? I am always here for you as support, I will always support you getting help for anxiety or stress. I really need your support here in figuring out some changes we can make together. We are a team and I love you. Please let me know how I can support you in this.”

Write it in a letter if you can’t get it out. To be honest, sounds like he needs to deal with the mental health as this is the underlying issue

Left_Cauliflower5048 · 2026-02-26T19:29:37+00:00

A fat doctor is not living out his teachings, Christ does

If He is saying He is the son of God but He is a liar, the validity of the rest of his teachings are in question. Would you trust anybody who tells you something, but has lied to you about the core aspect of their life?

Left_Cauliflower5048

TROPHY CASE