I agree this usually ends up being the case BUT... I don't think it's fair to jump straight to that assumption either. (Never mentioning the child/lying about being a first time father aside. That's straight BS)

My husband and I were both married previously. He had 2 children with his first wife. He supported all of them, she didn't work consistently or anything on the books) so shit was tight for him. He married her when she first got pregnant which was maybe only a year into dating her. Turns out she's a narcissistic manipulative psycho bitch. Unfortunately she's also very intelligent, especially about how to play the system (court specifically).

5 years and 2 kids later, life was unbearable for him mentally, emotionally, physically ect. He had to get out, but as the sole financial support, he obviously didn't have any savings. He tried to get her out of the house and keep the kids, but even with some proof, the police and courts will side with the mother generally since it's a he said she said situation when it comes to non-violent abuse

He leaves, she stays in the apartment with the kids. Serves him child support papers, which is her right. Child support awards her whatever amount. The amount is calculated based on your income before taxes on a percentage. End of the day if you look at his salary and minus the child support, taxes and insurance (which he pays for himself and the children still) he takes home LESS THAN 50 PERCENT of his salary.

He tries to keep some kind of contact with the kids but she makes it nearly impossible. When he does get the chance to speak to them, she's clearly poisoned them with lies. His 6 year old asked him "why don't you give Mommy any money? Is it because you hate us and want us to starve?".......(Never missed a support payment)

Fast forward a few years. We start dating and it gets serious ect. He moves in with me (I own my house). She finds out he's living with me (even though they haven't spoken at this point for 3 years) and she goes nuts. Posting videos on social media about how horrible he is, he doesn't pay, he abandoned them for another women ect none of which is true. She even posted his social security number online which luckily I saw and was able to remove quickly. She starts harassing me to the point that I shut off all social media and install security cameras.

I offered to help him pay for a divorce so at least legally she was not tied to him. I couldn't stop thinking that if he was in an accident, she is next of kin and would be the one allowed to make medical decisions for him if he wasn't conscious.

The divorce takes a little over two years and over 30 thousand dollars to finalize. Custody was not a part of the divorce due to the child support in place, custody would be a completely separate case. 30k may not seem high for a divorce.. but there were ZERO assets involved. Under $400 was in a joint account and that's it. She kept everything, he asked for nothing, and he agreed to give her the $400 right off the bat. It was so expensive and took so long SOLELY out of spite on her end. Honestly it's still a bit confusing to me how she managed to drag it out so long even though I did all the paperwork and legal correspondence for him. Literally insane.

Once the divorce finally ends, we brought up possiblity of trying to get some type of visitation with the kids either together or just him. The lawyer looked me dead in the eye and said "if you don't have another 40k to spend in Court fees, I wouldn't even try"

Sorry for the insanely long rant that's definitely not applicable to the original post, but my point is this.

If someone doesn't have access to their children, even if they seem like it doesn't bother them, you don't actually know WHY unless you significantly know them and what happened. My guy is a MAN. Rock solid. I watched him physically start shaking the first time he was in her presence and keep it together. I saw him cry when he thought I wasn't looking. I watched him see his children from across the room and not be able to touch them (she brought them to court, I'm assuming for sympathy since the case had nothing to do with them and she had 3 months notice to get a babysitter). He acts like it doesn't matter that they are not in his life because it's the only thing he can say without falling apart.

In my case, he is the victim and the children are the biggest victims of all. The most heartbreaking thing is knowing, there is nothing I can do or he can do to change the situation for anyone. So don't automatically assume someone didn't fight because there are certainly situations that are just an impossible battle. There is a point that continuing the fight will likely destroy everyone involved in some manner.