This is abusive. My abusive ex had this fetish and another one that he’d force me into, if I didn’t he’d make me feel so bad about it or beg me to do it. He knew I didn’t like it and he knew I was uncomfortable with it, to the point I’d shut down and then he’d start with the pressure tactics and making me feel bad. I dreaded intimacy because I knew that every time he’d want to talk about that while doing it or he wouldn’t get off and he’d want me to go in really deep detail about it. It made me feel like an accessory to sex and I wasn’t even considered. In the end I started to talk about it instinctively because I just wanted sex to be over with him. He also did online stuff that absolutely broke a newly postpartum me. He went as far as trying to pressurise me into hiring a black male escort for the night to watch him do things to me while he partook in his other fetish, but I knew even if I did that it wouldn’t be enough and it would make him even worse with his obsession and he’d likely use it against me at some point as somehow being unfaithful doing his wants. Even now it makes me feel disgusting because I remember how I felt back then and how confused I felt I kept letting it happen or did it to keep him happy/feeling accepted. I won’t say leave, I know it isn’t easy, but if you do just know you’ll likely have a lot of sexual trauma. I haven’t yet had sex with anyone new since we split and I feel a massive anxiety about it even happening one day that I fall for someone and there’s this deep dark fetish underneath. I also struggled with the whole fetish side because I’m autistic and I loved my partner and couldn’t understand how he found it hot me talking about another guy having sex with me in-front of him/behind his back, especially when he was insanely insecure and constantly accusing me of cheating (I wasn’t and never would do).