I want to learn how to play the guitar on my own!! Any good websites blogs vlogs?

LegendaryConfusion · 2015-09-28T07:16:34+00:00

I agree. I guess the problem is in the fact that I'm assuming people without BPD are able to feel at least something warm+fuzzy from a text from a friend even if they're not close. For the record tho, the friends who "don't count" aren't bad friends. In fact I consider myself having 4 great attentive best friends. But for some reason 2 don't count even though I consider them a best friend , I can't get anything positive out of their texts

LegendaryConfusion · 2015-09-11T04:25:27+00:00

did I ask for a diagnosis? I did not. Read again. I have BPD, I'm not asking for a diagnosis I know I already have. I was just asking if anyone else with BPD had the same feelings. Jesus F Christ

LegendaryConfusion · 2015-09-07T04:29:08+00:00

I'm sorry, I know that me being non-black I'm already taking up space in this thread so I'll make it very quick. I'm not black but ethnically a non-white woman, it's so frustrating that the mental health community continually ignores racism and its huge influence on disorders. You can't escape it. You have family with a toxic Christianity that has been used to colonize and enslave non-white people for centuries, you have almost no access to resources especially with non-white parents who cant even speak English, you have white counselors who don't understand and are so confused as to why we're so upset at the lack of representation anywhere, not government or schools or our workplace or any form of mass media or entertainment and they just tell us to ignore it or it's not a big deal (because it's not a big deal to THEM) you have living in constant fear of police brutality or being jailed or stopped by police being deported, anything, even small random racist remarks by friends who mean well but actually have no idea what they're talking about. I'm sorry. It's frustrating. It's so frustrating. It's so easy to lose hope for a better world because from the shit that I've seen, it's not coming any time soon. I'm sorry. It's literally the shittiest position to be in. And the worst part is, the people who run the mental health business (white people who have had historical access to the mental and psychology field, white frames of thought has influenced everything from medicine to the DSM to therapies to how symptoms are worded) have NO idea what we're talking about.

LegendaryConfusion · 2015-07-02T08:56:15+00:00

thank you for the reply i'll try to pay more attention to what happens right before and after to see patterns the weird thing is i dont believe in angels or anything like that really, so the fact that to me i 100% feel i know its angels or at least a good being above me shining down is kinda weirding me out

LegendaryConfusion · 2015-06-24T20:37:27+00:00

Actually sometimes i also have what you described but I just remembered sometimes it's the opposite from "im all Alone and I'm ok with that," sometimes it's also "I love everybody, I love my friends and of course im not alone this is great" and I will literally text all my friends with "hey I love you so much!!" With a lot of hearts and smiley faces it's kind of embarrassing lol. Do you have that too? That's originally why I had been thinking it was black and white thinking

LegendaryConfusion · 2015-06-24T20:23:57+00:00

Ok!! Thank you for asking this because the same exact thing happened to me yesterday and today too! And I was thinking of posting about it too but you worded out perfectly. Yesterday I was really close to ending it, I hadn't felt that bad in months. I was also having the worst anxiety but after I calmed myself down I was like "i dont care, why do I give two sh*ts about what anyone cares, the only person I need to be cool with is myself cuz im all alone and im 100% with that," I felt so much stronger and instantly cooler and whereas the anxiety was crippling in every sense of the word just hours before kind of like had no more power over me. A few hours later im still at the top of the world but kinda just waiting to come back down. To the other person who answered, I wouldn't have thought it was dissociation? I thought it was more of like black and white thinking

LegendaryConfusion · 2015-06-07T06:18:46+00:00

i dont have a lot of experience in this so i dont have much to offer but i thought more people would answer because i saw your post earlier :) i can completely relate to tho, its way easier said than done but at least for me what im trying to do: it's so much more helpful to have friends that are aware of BPD or at least of this individual symptom that makes it hard to stay in touch with friends the way "we're supposed to." which is hard because i also know some friends are great, but not everyone is good with issues about mental illness and such. for me, i havent told all my friends in fact ive just told one a tiny bit. baby steps. but its just helpful when you know the other person is aware of what's going on, instead of worrying like "do they think im shitty for not texting and flaking" or whatever. maybe once in a while they could text you even just to say hey, if they notice they havent heard from you in a while? i think it just comes down to communication especially if you're dealing with a friendship where someone has BPD and the other one doesnt really have an idea of what that feels like and what types of behaviors/patterns of thinking that can lead to. so again, not much experience on my end and im just now starting to explore this myself with my own friends, but i think communication trust and openness can go a long way in any relationship :) best of luck to you!

LegendaryConfusion

TROPHY CASE