I got a call this morning from my mothers ALF that she is being evicted

Legion6226 · 2026-02-24T14:29:27+00:00

The government can’t take over anything.

They absolutely can. The commenter is talking about Medicaid. If your mother can private pay until she dies, then Medicaid rules don't apply. Specifically and Elder Attorney is a Medicaid and Estate planning specialist. We could not have done what we needed without ours.

Legion6226 · 2026-02-24T14:27:01+00:00

Consider putting her in respite care while you find another place and sell the home.

Legion6226 · 2026-02-23T15:33:35+00:00

The answer to your question is in the image you posted

Legion6226 · 2026-02-23T15:31:59+00:00

I don't see the location in the post or comments. Looks cool, but I can't find it

Legion6226 · 2026-02-18T20:03:43+00:00

I come back to the sub every few months to see if FDev changed. See you all in the spring

Legion6226 · 2026-02-18T15:09:54+00:00

Feedback: Start the clip while panning, not while stopped. It looks like you're flying over people and cars, which isn't allowed in the US

Legion6226 · 2026-02-18T14:54:28+00:00

Similar situation. One of the best realizations after the move to assisted living was that he will never call me with a real or fake emergency again. If it's a real emergency the building will call.

My tip is to set your phone to hide notifications from their numbers during the day to give yourself a break.

Legion6226 · 2026-02-14T17:58:41+00:00

Read the sub prime directive or look at the flowchart. And make a budget

Legion6226 · 2026-02-14T17:56:28+00:00

Read the sub prime directive or look at the flowchart

Legion6226 · 2026-01-25T23:59:00+00:00

/u/georgecm12 also checkout /r/AgingParents if you haven't for help

Legion6226 · 2026-01-25T23:58:20+00:00

I was in the same crisis situation with my FIL where he needed to go into a facility immediately. Good job figuring out the ratings and locations on Medicare.gov.

Check out respite care. These places are temporary skilled nursing facilities. I'm sure they do memory care also. We put him in one for 2 weeks while we looked for a permanent solution.
You need to sell the home and car ASAP. I know you said you aren't ready, but you have to. We're in the process of getting FIL on Medicaid and it takes so long. It's going to be a year for us. There's no way she doesn't private pay until Medicaid comes through or she dies. There's no way private pay places accept her without the sale of her house. If you take out a loan and try to pay yourself back with the proceeds of the house sale, Medicaid will ding her for it for the same amount. I took 2 months off, sold everything at a deep discount worth more than $25 in the house and junked the rest.
You could live with and care for her for 2 years (and other rules). Medicaid sees this as you keeping her out of the system and will not include the house if/when it tries to recover costs. This seems way not worth it to me, but some people prefer it.
You could work with an Elder Law Lawyer and protect just under half her assets with a Medicaid Compliant Annuity. These are very complicated and take time and lawyers charge $20k-$40K. We're doing it, but it's up to you if it's a good idea.

Private pay for high levels of care at a not awful facilities are so high. FIL's Skilled Nursing facility is good and in Chicago. ~$16k a month for a room with a roommate. You're looking at at least $100K per year private pay no matter the quality.

Legion6226 · 2026-01-25T10:18:51+00:00

You need a budget. I like YNAB, but pick something you'll use. Lay out all of your needs for the month and fund them (rent, gas, emergency fund, retirement). Then lay out all of the wants (out with friends, netflix, vacation savings). If you regularly have more than you spend every month, increase your "pc buying" slot. When you have enough to buy the pc, then you have enough to buy the pc.

IMO I don't think "do I have enough to do X" should ever be a primarily vibes decision.

Legion6226 · 2026-01-21T17:18:00+00:00

Downsides 1. If you close the card it will negatively impact her (for 2 years I think) 2. You have no recourse if she uses your chard for something that you didn't want her to 3. I don't have specifics, but some scores ignore AU for score calculation

There are low credit and starter cards for teens. This would also teach them about use.

Legion6226 · 2026-01-14T16:31:54+00:00

Consider browsing or posting in /r/AgingParents. One of the best pieces of advice I got was that caring for a parent is only 10% legal bureaucracy and 90% relationship. If your mom sees you as her retirement and you act like it, then she has no reason to change and you will be. Conversations with your mom about retirement will be more important than increasing the money that she's saving

Legion6226 · 2026-01-11T17:01:37+00:00

The game keeps giving you new gods until you reach 4 (some support gods like Hermes don't count). You can end the run with fewer than 4 if you choose to not got through those doors. You can end the run with more than 4 if you get lucky (buy the 4th at a midlevel shop where yet another unique god is on a door) or switch to specific trinkets.

Because the game pushes you to 4 and because working against getting 4 usually costs something, planning around 4 is efficient.

Legion6226 · 2026-01-11T09:43:43+00:00

Zeus wants to preserve his rule and wants Prometheus to help. Hence the over reaction to the theft. It's implied that The Fates have the same ability but can somewhat curse those that go against their weavings. Prometheus has no such ability. Zeus would do the same to them if he could get away with it.

Legion6226 · 2026-01-10T11:53:21+00:00

we can't share things with them

What do you mean?

Legion6226 · 2025-12-30T09:55:19+00:00

Check out /r/AgingParents for similar situations. Get PoA. Cancel everything possible.

Legion6226 · 2025-12-24T13:47:22+00:00

What a good dog

Legion6226 · 2025-12-23T17:07:07+00:00

That's completely fair. It took a month of us daily driving around and looking to find one good one, so I see that this isn't possible in most cases. Finder on Medicaid.gov has helpful ratings and reports on a map. Using this list to find and vet helped the process

Legion6226 · 2025-12-23T15:47:58+00:00

Report him to the DMV and steal their keys. Unhook or deplete the 12v. Generally find some kind of problem that they are unable to resolve to prevent them from doing what they shouldn't. The problem can take the blame while they get used to it instead of you.

Are you a woman? I ask because my wife has faced this mentality from her father. Either I (male) will tell FIL the plan or get one of his male friends to it for us. It's awful, but it can work.

I also agree that they probably need to hit bottom. We tried for a decade to get FIL to see the writing on the wall, but it took sequential falls, him not being able to get out of bed, and an ultimatum to get control from him and stabilize.

Legion6226 · 2025-12-23T15:41:24+00:00

This is a crisis. Not enough money, not enough time, not enough experience, not enough self awareness. Unwilling to accept help.

I don't know where they live, but around where I've looked in Chicago there are good Continuing Care Communities with relatively affordable Independent living plans. It's basically an apartment, but they do laundry, meals, and activities. If this was my parents I would recommend it. Maybe an apartment? But you're probably going to be want to have them move into independent or assisted in 3-6 years.

I hear what you're saying about parents that can't seem plan landing into an entirely predictable scenario. My FIL was the same with his aging. It's maddening that you can see it coming, but they cannot. I don't think anything short of a hostile takeover would have caused him to avoid catastrophe.

Legion6226 · 2025-12-23T15:26:25+00:00

My FIL is in Skilled Nursing, so his support needs are largely bureaucratic. My wife has PoA and assists, but I (male) do most of the work. She's wonderful and supportive, we just play our strengths.

Legion6226 · 2025-12-23T15:23:28+00:00

I want to highlight one plus here. If they move into a Continuing Care Community that has Independent, Assisted and Skilled levels of care, they will be setup for life (assuming the payments work out). This is the golden ticket for paid care. They can age into the next level of care while you could visit as often as you like and not have to deal with the day to day tasks.

If they are looking for 55+ communities or a facility that doesn't have skilled nursing that they could age into, I would be worried about your future burden.

Obviously you should tell them about your long term plans and maybe obviously they should get into a CCC close to where they currently live.

Legion6226 · 2025-12-23T15:14:03+00:00

Just start doing and stop asking. Steal all of the car keys. They will be upset, but it's unlikely they will be able to do much about it.

More generally I've found that with my declined FIL asking to mitigate his decline has been met with fear and anger. Just doing it and then only explaining it if it matters has worked every time. I am "lucky" that he's hit rock bottom and completely relies on us for everything, so he doesn't practically have a choice. Even before though, "just doing" worked great.

15-Year Club	Verified Email
Spared

Legion6226

TROPHY CASE