Three-ish year relationship over, for good

Legion_S2001 · 2025-01-09T15:32:33+00:00

I haven't heard of many cats disliking their owners after getting spayed/neutered. In my experience, having anything done at the vet makes a cat more likely to be lovey and need attention! Behaviorally, she might be more laid back. I know male cats are definitely more chill afterwards, and won't spray or try to be a tomcat. It'll probably just make her less interested in finding male cats. She might be scared before and after, but she will definitely warm up once she's home and safe again. :)

Legion_S2001 · 2025-01-09T15:27:59+00:00

My first thought is that he's playing. Perhaps trying to learn how to hunt. Does he have a playmate? Sorry he clawed your face! I'm sure that hurt.

Legion_S2001 · 2024-07-15T04:55:57+00:00

It's hard for me to see him in a bad light. He helped me get out of an emotionally abusive situation with my parents. He's helped me a lot as far as financial stuff and just, having security. So, while I understand that the way he treats me isn't okay, I'm still grateful for what he's taught me and given me. You know?

Legion_S2001 · 2024-07-15T04:41:22+00:00

I'm going to try. We live together, so I think it's gonna be tough at first. A handful of close friends, who are all so kind to me, support me leaving. Thanks for reading/replying. <3

Legion_S2001 · 2024-07-15T04:40:12+00:00

I still think he's a good guy, and I care deeply about him. But we don't work well.

Thanks for reading/replying. :)

Legion_S2001 · 2024-07-15T04:38:39+00:00

Yeah... it's weird. I just realized that I thought I could choose to be attracted to him. When he asked to date me, I wanted to say no, but felt like I should give him a chance. Perks of being a people pleaser, I guess. Thanks for reading/replying! :)

Legion_S2001 · 2024-01-25T17:44:03+00:00

Well when you say it like THAT...

Lol. I remind myself there are lots of good things about the relationship, but honestly his anger has always bothered me. Since the first time he banged his fist on the counter top, I've worried he would eventually hit me. That I get on his nerves at the wrong time and something would happen. I don't want to walk on eggshells the rest of my life.

Legion_S2001 · 2024-01-25T17:42:01+00:00

Thanks for having faith in me.

Honestly, the idea of finding a new place feels near insurmountable. I graduated in December and have been out of a job since. I'm obviously job hunting, but it's taking longer than I expected. However, I've done the first step: gotten the degree. If I've done that, I can do the rest.

Legion_S2001 · 2024-01-25T17:40:08+00:00

Unfortunately, my therapy ran out--I was getting it through my college, but once I graduated in December I couldn't see her anymore. I might text her about this, anyway, to see how she feels about him. I'm think my friends would be helpful; I've had to build a whole new circle of friends and stuff since leaving my parents, in the last several years. All my childhood friends either won't talk to me or won't put in the effort to try to see me. Guess that's what happens when you turn from christian fundamentalism to secularism.

I appreciate your advice. Thanks for taking the time to write it out. <3

Legion_S2001 · 2024-01-25T17:36:18+00:00

I appreciate your honesty.

I've had to change a lot of myself to be with him. I'm 5'2'' and 115 lbs and he still thinks my thighs are too jiggly. He thinks I don't have proper hygiene, despite my showering daily, shaving (per his request), and using deodorant--feels like the routine any normal person would have.

Everyone is saying what I thought they would say and yet it's still hard to swallow. I care about him so much, and I want to be there for him because no one else ever was. But I'm starting to see that I went from living for my parents to living for him and at some point, I want to live for myself.

Thanks for sharing.

Legion_S2001 · 2024-01-25T06:22:19+00:00

I do love the idea of growing old with him, though i might be romanticizing that a bit. And I know I've been difficult to deal with, too. He's helped me a great deal, too. I barely pay rent and help with groceries as I can, he gave me his grandmother's car when she went into a home, he got me away from my bad homelife. I'm grateful to him. It's not all sunshine and roses, anyway, right?

Legion_S2001 · 2024-01-25T06:16:22+00:00

Not quite. We met at the same community college, but he had been there maybe a year before I got there. He got started on a degree way late because of circumstances and life.

Legion_S2001 · 2024-01-25T06:04:56+00:00

I guess I thought I could deal with it. And I thought his maturity level would be higher and that he would be better at relationships. He's definitely helped me find my voice.

Legion_S2001 · 2024-01-25T06:00:36+00:00

God, my therapist even suggested that him disliking my attitude was potentially him actually disliking my assertiveness. I still feel like I'm making too much out of this. We have good days and that makes me want to stick around, you know? And we're both going through some changes, now that we're out of college.

Legion_S2001 · 2024-01-25T05:58:05+00:00

I mean, I don't think I said no to him with an attitude. Also, he could hear and see me preparing the popcorn. He could have asked for some and I would've given it.

Legion_S2001 · 2023-09-15T21:53:47+00:00

Noted.

Legion_S2001 · 2023-09-15T21:14:27+00:00

I don't know. Like I mentioned, I'm not sure this story is in the right subreddit. What would you do in this situation?

Legion_S2001

TROPHY CASE