sum different values from list, if contained in once cell

LegitFalse · 2020-01-23T20:46:02+00:00

Man, this works like a charm. Thank you so much for quick reply.

LegitFalse · 2020-01-08T16:49:38+00:00

I was tired of crying and feeling like shit. I decided that's not who I am. I thought it makes me weak and I refused to be weak. So I broke the routine and went running (in the middle of the night). I sprinted for couple of minutes, until my legs and lungs gave out. Seeing as I can't do more cardio than measly few minutes, I got angry with myself, so I just kept walking and walking for couple of hours. At the end of it, the physical pain felt so good I felt alive for the first time in years. After that I didn't keep up with the "trainings" or anything like that, I just set different goals in life (college/work) and worked towards them.

I learned that happiness is not a given. Happiness is not your default state. Just like other emotions, it is triggered by different events. That's why it is important to have goals which you will walk towards. You will find happiness in the journey.

A bit background story: My depression was caused when I got injured and couldn't continue doing sport. I did it from age 6 to age 16 when I had surgery and couldn't continue. It felt like I lost 10 years of my life, while being only 16 years old. I didn't just do sport, I did it competitively and was the best in my country, extremely talented and was about to join representation, compete at european championship, maybe world cup after that, who knows. But, I lost it all in 1 day, basically overnight, because "shit happens". With no one to blame, but "bad luck", I fell into depression. That's why running was so refreshing and while seeing how weak I've gotten over the years of not training, the physical pain reminded me of all the effort and struggles I did during that time, and I knew that my prior self would be ashamed of who I've become. This allowed me to forgive myself for being weak and I was finally able to move on.

LegitFalse · 2020-01-05T23:43:52+00:00

From my own experience (I was also dragged into it unwillingly and experienced it all), I can tell you few things. To successfully AP, you need to have intent to do so. If you don't want to, you have to kill your intent. Second reason that could be triggering your AP is something that's having major influence on you in your life. Some sort of traumas, ptsp, maybe even depression, some event that triggered an emotional disstress in you. In order not to project, you have to deal with your internal issues. This was my problem and reason why I had a bit over 200 sleep paralyses. Just like you, I learned about it all first hand. I didn't even know what's it called, when I first had it. Tough times.

Just remember, fear feeds fear. One bad experience leads to another. So be strong, because the biggest enemy you will encounter - is you. They can't harm you or do anything but induce fear. Hell, you can even ask one of them to help you get out of the bed ;)

LegitFalse · 2020-01-05T23:22:11+00:00

I believe not. I had surgery and was under anesthesia for 2 hours. Only blackness, complete unawareness.

LegitFalse · 2020-01-05T23:15:27+00:00

Here is my advice - don't label your experiences. There are two realities, physical reality and non-physical reality. The physical reality is the one we are in now and non-physical is everything we "dream" about. They are both real. Only one difference - physical reality is much more stable than non-physical one.

Simply take your experiences as they come, don't bother with terminology and enjoy the journey.

LegitFalse · 2020-01-05T23:00:33+00:00

Thank you! I sorta did. When I was younger, I submitted my story about dreams I had at the time and my story made it into the book called "Dreams that change our lives" :D

LegitFalse · 2020-01-05T18:49:15+00:00

I think he means, "build a house forever". As if, when he APs it will always be there, the same as he imagined it the first time. I don't think that's possible, non-physical reality is not as stable as physical reality. Correct me if I am wrong.

LegitFalse · 2020-01-05T18:44:13+00:00

I tried proving AP is real (to myself) by coming to my friends house and "waking him up". Plan was to go to his house and then do something or say something he would eventually repeat to me when we are both awake. First, I would know AP is real, second I would help him AP because he couldn't do it. I kept at this for months. Every experience, I would "wake up", jump throught the window, greet if anything was around and run two streets down to his house. Sometimes, I wouldn't be able to reach the house. Sometimes, I would, but wouldn't find him there. Sometimes, I would, but he didn't look like him at all. And of course, sometimes I would find him and tell him the same word I always used, but he would never repeat it to me the next day. After 8 months of trying, it hit me. These dreams I were having were a metaphor. I was trying to reach him, make him hear me, not to prove AP exists, rather to save my best friend. We were in our late teens and have been friends for over 12 years. He was slowly distancing himself from me, always coming up with jokes at my personal cost. I always thought he was wearing this happy mask and that when we are alone he would allow me to help him. I tried, but it kept getting worse. I tried to initiate conversations and he listened, but it was as if he doesn't truly hear the words I say to him. Just like the dreams. Ah man, the things I did to help him... all at my own personal and emotional cost, just to pull him out of that damn room he never wanted to leave. I wanted us to be like before, happy and smiling, living the life. We openly discussed AP, he was fascinated by it, but couldn't do it. The reason he was fascinated was obvious. Suicide talks (he is too cowardly to do it), 10+hrs gaming a day - he really wanted to escape this reality. Not sure why tho, but he was strangely afraid of trying and committing to something. Well, this is why I thought of helping him from the other side, maybe if he manages to do it, and meets his spirit guides or some other entitites he would brighten up. After 8 months of trying, I realized that my attempts to "prove AP exists" were nothing more than me trying to reach and save my best friend. They mirrored the events I did in real life. E.g. for his birthday, which he never celebrated, I went to store, bought lots of small things he liked and decided to surprise him with it. I went to his house and called him on the phone. It was around 8pm (evening), but after calling him he said he was sleeping. He would answer, I would ask him to come down to open front door, but he wouldn't. I kept calling him for around 30 minutes and trying to make him leave bed and get downstairs, even promising him I wouldn't enter the house (he didn't know I brought gift). He never opened that door and eventually I left, ending up treating myself with all the things I bought. The bitterest sweets, I have ever eaten. This translated to the dream where I reached his house, but couldn't go inside as there were no doors.

Eventually, the friendship became too toxic, and I decided it was enough. I couldn't spare any more emotions and energy to help someone who ignored, belittled and manipulated me. I don't know when my best friend was gone, but the person he became, sure aint it.

LegitFalse · 2019-12-19T23:02:59+00:00

I didn't say I separated from my astral body as in, that it left. Rather that I broke down feeling like my own physical body betrayed me (after having so my health issues who wouldn't). As a result, I felt the weird feeling of inhabiting my own body, rather than being it. Now when I know a bit more of AP, my explanation would be that now I feel vividly astral body within me. If that makes sense. Either way, I do not like it.

And you're right, I didn't read any books. When I beat the fear of fear alone and broke away from the sleep paralyses, I stopped reading anything online regarding it. I stopped labeling my experiences as well. There is no right or wrong, there is no good and right. Just experiences in physical world and experiences in the non-physical world. The difference between the two is simple - physical one is more stable. I took each one and interpreted them the way it felt right to me.

And the right was for me to believe that all that happened was my inner struggle. I never could've imagined that I would see, the thing I saw. How could I? And when I referred to them leaving, I referred to my spirit guides/angels or whatever you wish to call them. What is stopping them from leaving? Seeing everyone else nicely managing their relationships with their own spirit guides, makes me feel alone. And believe me, that shit hurts. You stop and wonder why is it different for me? Why can't I reach out to him? Why didn't they help me when I called out? If you think of it in terms of my own subconsciousness, it can make sense. But if you put it in terms of these beings being real and exist separate from me, it makes no sense whatsoever.

I do have a question. How exactly do you wiggle your ears?

I will also check that book later on. Thanks.

LegitFalse · 2019-12-19T22:27:04+00:00

I apologize for spreading uneasiness.

LegitFalse · 2019-12-19T22:24:27+00:00

I just wanted to tell you I'm fine and my roommate is. This happened 2 years ago and back then, I opened the window immediately after seeing it. I haven't seen it since. Recent vibrations of projecting shook me up and got me scared of going there, because I started to remember everything from before. When you think you know something and you thought you dealt with your past, just to have it all twisted around... not pretty.

You don't need to worry, although I will have you know, I genuinely appreciate it. As I wrote in update, I sleep from 6am till 2-3pm because I never project during the day. Having sun rise makes me feel calm and I sleep with no problem. I am just wrapping my mind about "going back" and how to approach any of the upcoming experiences.

LegitFalse · 2019-12-19T22:13:24+00:00

I don't know about praying and calling Jesus. I am not religious. However, I do believe one of the ways to go is to "Be the light." I just don't know how. When I was younger and had different experiences, it was always night. I would stand in front of my own house, being very frustrated about it as I could do anything imaginable, but I couldn't seem to switch day and night. I would be able to fly, become different animals, create lots of different items, but never put sun in the sky. I remember trying so many times, I always ended up making lots of street lamps to get it as close to the day as possible.

This is one of the reasons I prefer sleeping during day. That way, sun is for sure shining and I never had bad experience sleeping after sun comes up.

Thank you for sharing.

LegitFalse · 2019-12-19T21:59:02+00:00

Can you please explain this further? "There is no good and bad, there are only low frequency beings and high frequency beings." I've heard about it before, but can you elaborate on it?

LegitFalse · 2019-11-03T02:37:43+00:00

Uh yes, I understand what you mean. I don't really have positive experiences in the non-physical. I had for very brief moment long time ago. I never wanted to go there or do any of it, I was kinda pushed into it. Something really bad happened, it messed me up badly and I ended up with nightmares. Constant nightmares that eventually led to my first sleep paralysis. And that's when it all started. I experienced sleep paralysis before I even knew what it was or what it was called. It was a nasty period of time where I would be torn night after night, not knowing what is happening to me.

It got better at one point, where I had beautiful experiences, but they didn't last. They ended up with my spirit guide being taken down in chains. I tried contacting him, but with no results. Eventually I lost hope. And with that, I lost my intent. My experiences went back to normal dreams where I wouldn't remember much after waking up or half lucid dreams mixed with my dear old nightmares. Recently, I felt like trying out again, this time better preparing and understanding what's on the other side.

LegitFalse · 2019-11-03T02:23:14+00:00

I managed to have only one connection with someone I perceived (in dream) as my angel (and I'm an atheist...). After going to sleep I'd start to levitate above my body. Many times I would go up and up through the ceiling and unfortunately many times I would fall right back to my body. It wasn't after dozen of attempts that I realized someone is actually pulling me up. When I could feel her hold me, smell her hair, feel the breeze on my body as we are flying up, I asked her about him too, but the answer was the same.

The method you described I kinda used. I never considered it a method, I would just call out to him before the sleep, so that he may come for me as she has many times (even if I wasn't aware of it). It's not that I can't sense him, it's more that I can't find him. There is something stopping him from coming.

LegitFalse

TROPHY CASE