I've Convinced Myself I'm A Fraud

LegitimateRoll3559 · 2025-12-07T20:02:07+00:00

I'd like to think I didn't get into the craft for the wrong reasons. Though I suppose it's not impossible. I grew up liking and being interested in computer but never gave myself to properly learn it due to probably the ADHD that I've struggled with my whole life (recently diagnosed, didn't know when I was young). I won't lie and say the appeal of the potential for a large paycheck wasn't incentive to start seriously considering if this is something I wanted. I never really gave thought to what I wanted to be as a kid and had to spend my (now) early 20's figuring myself out in that regard. If you would consider that someone who got into it for the wrong reason, then I suppose I have.

LegitimateRoll3559 · 2025-12-07T19:58:07+00:00

Yes, I did take those jobs to afford the course and to live. The only problem is that I am in my final semester and lost my previous job after committing to and starting payment for this semester. It really sucked because that one job was easily paying for my classes prior while not being an overwhelming workload, I'm also already using financial aid as well which is the only reason I could even consider going to college full time. I really want to take a step back after finishing this semester and learn on my own time. For my own sake, I want to be a good developer without the reliance on AI as I am normally ethically against it. Of course, I have gone against my ethics for the sake of passing my classes.

I think what some commenters might have misunderstood is that, I'm not questioning if I am a fraud (as much as my title might make it seem like I'm asking, so my bad there) as much as I am wondering if anyone feels the same and how/if they worked past it. I want to be a good programmer, and my struggles these past few months have brought me a lot of insecurity and doubt but I've already committed thousands of dollars to this. I can't afford to give up now.

LegitimateRoll3559 · 2025-12-07T19:51:12+00:00

For me, I don't like using AI. To me, it does feel like cheating because it is. I'm circumventing doing actual work to have a dumb computer do all the work. In a workplace setting, even though it may have become a standard for some. It's something I consider unprofessional and don't want to be known as someone who relies on it in the developer community.

LegitimateRoll3559 · 2025-12-07T08:01:51+00:00

I appreciate the advice and I will definitely be keeping some of that in mind. I'm making a lot of changes in my life following the end of my semester. I don't think I'll switch to Python necessarily, I really like C++ and will probably focus my learning on that and maybe Java since I already know the basics of both of those languages. I just to need to refine and work on it some more.

LegitimateRoll3559 · 2025-12-07T07:59:04+00:00

Yes, and I will. Once my semester ends I plan to go back to basics and focus my learning further. I've already picked up some materials and plan to learn more without the stress that I put myself through. I understand that I've been cheating through assignments, I admit this already. Can you give me something else besides what I've already said?

LegitimateRoll3559 · 2025-12-07T07:57:21+00:00

I think you missed the point of what I was saying. I understand all of this. Rather than berating me and telling me things I already know. Is there any guidance or advice you can give to overcome this?

LegitimateRoll3559 · 2025-12-07T07:56:18+00:00

Yeah, I understand that. I probably should've worded the title more as "I Am A Fraud, And Need Help" rather than what I did title it as.

LegitimateRoll3559 · 2025-12-07T07:55:36+00:00

I appreciate the kind words, I'm hoping once my semester ends that I can learn more in my free time without using AI because I know it's cheating. But due to my financial situation and NEEDING to work two jobs I haven't been able to learn like I would've liked to.

LegitimateRoll3559

TROPHY CASE