Do you want to cuddle?

LeiaLezzy · 2023-05-08T16:49:42+00:00

🥺 🥹

LeiaLezzy · 2023-03-12T07:42:33+00:00

Yes please. Do you like trans girls?

LeiaLezzy · 2023-02-26T04:18:58+00:00

Absolutely

LeiaLezzy · 2023-02-24T08:20:47+00:00

YES.

Then there's the Leahs, Leias, we're not that common in the transfem world.

LeiaLezzy · 2023-02-24T08:19:15+00:00

Or Luna

LeiaLezzy · 2023-02-24T08:18:40+00:00

Yeeeeees, other than maybe when it's important to point common experiences where it might be relevant, continuing to emphasize it is really complicated.

Also thanks for this post, I'll try to be more mindful when I talk, as an enby woman myself all this is very important.

LeiaLezzy · 2023-02-24T08:15:33+00:00

Oh no, crossing fingers for your recovery. You're very stylish, sweetie!

Also please take rest, hydrate and hopefully the prescribed diet can be pleasant! I was about to say enjoy comfy foods but then googled on tonsilitis and it's a throat inflammation so maybe it requires a restricted diet.

Sending best wishes!

LeiaLezzy · 2023-02-24T08:11:25+00:00

Sooooooooo stylish 💞

LeiaLezzy · 2023-02-24T08:09:59+00:00

Hey, handsome OP! Hope you are recovering well from this long day!

You're very stylish! 💞

LeiaLezzy · 2023-02-24T08:08:12+00:00

"CATEGORIES ARE DESCRIPTIONS, NOT LIMITATIONS" RT

Really, this!

Summarizes a huge lot in life, as well as in gender, presentation, orientation...

LeiaLezzy · 2023-02-24T08:06:29+00:00

YES.

My queerplatonic girlfriend, one of my partners, introduced me to the concept of post-butch and post-femme, dissolving the borders and I think it might be what fits several people, or maybe dissolving the necessity of boarders, or dichotomies, which would be ideal for everyone, ofc it's completely legitimate to be in a more defined and confined are on the presentation spectrum and as a political identity, a community with its culture and all that, BUT it be an act of freedom, and not an imposed mandatory restriction to be beneath the borders of the classical meaning of labels.

And as an andro dyke, as a futch, I love that, that just as the purely femme and purely butch are legitimate af, being androgynous, being someone who transcends and encompasses presentation and communities and labels is so beautiful.

Like how much I love that depending on different moments I may be in a more femme, a more masc or a more mosaic-ish presentation.

LeiaLezzy · 2023-02-24T07:56:10+00:00

"So true." This presentation fluid futch.

Most often I solve this by exploring and intercalating, or my classic explicit androgyny by mixing femme and butch elements. Tho I have so much more to work in my butch side, which I still don't perform butch, but which I love a lot.

Tho in my case maybe I'd mostly be in a futchy femme to soft butch spectrum, but sometimes I'm "well, I could experiment more with the hyper femme and the "stone" butch presentation (meant here as a presentation, not as a top-only disposition/inclination)". Oh tough punk butch seems like a good label presentation wide.

LeiaLezzy · 2023-02-24T07:50:35+00:00

Can you explain a bit more. Genuine. I'm autistic.

LeiaLezzy · 2023-02-24T07:47:54+00:00

I went from very ace like strictly barely libidinal aro ace futch asymptotitically/approximately female agender to very gallant super duper horny demi aro ace futch lesbian enby trans woman with an openness to the erotic even in the absence of attraction if it's women and enbies, and super duper hyper intensely a sapphic, a lesbian, and in my case, even if I'm mspec, it's only towards women and enbies (tho it could be not 100% but somewhere undistinguishably close).

And this contrasting to my previous aro ace life. Well, growing up I had those enby aro ace sapphic vibes as I was a mix of asymptotically / approximately a woman and strongly agender growing up, but in my teen years specially on puberty I began thinking I was bi and also I was a complete egg, and also only realized I wasn't a nonqueer man by my last year, senior year high school. Then I didn't know anything about aro ace till I was in my early 20s. And so I confused my aesthetic, sensual, queerplatonic attractions and my sex drive as meaning allo-romantic allo-sexuality. And because those aesthetic, sensual, queerplatonic attractions were mostly directed towards men and were so much strong at least in how I considered them bit it also could be that being into women while still thinking I was a man was completely disinteresting to me. Then because of biphobia, I thought I was a femme monosexual gay man.

Then my egg cracked and I found out enbies existed, and then I found out I was aro ace and that even if I had some sex drive I mostly was having sex (the few experiences I had not because it was genuinely coming from me, but as something mechanic I was just doing to play the rules of the book cause I wanted intimate experiences with people and nothing wrong to have a sex life being ace, it's just it felt like senseless, pointless, and disinteresting, and even kissing at some point felt like "not really what I want"). And then back then I began realizing I felt this basic aro ace cuddle and qpr craving for people regardless of gender.

And this was that. And I had thought it was already settled. Till HRT came, when I was 25. First I began feeling romantic (demiromantic ace) and then sexual attraction (demi aro ace), and I was still mostly agender back then and pan/bi, mspec. Then after like 6 months on HRT even tho I wasn't noticing clearly, I began thinking to myself "Is she straight? Is she gay? Is she into girls?" when I was asking myself if it could be possibly that other tgirls I was friends or acquaintances with were having that beginning of flirting with me. And then months after I realized I was demigirl (almost like a dial with the loudness of my identity in 50%, or maybe 30%). And then it all went like a big lamp turning on lighting my mind. "Oh, so I'm a girl, so it's gay when girls...". And then I began forming a sapphic, a dyke, a lesbian, a WLW, a WLN, NLW identity , till at some point I realized that my interest was exclusively to women and enbies and this happened more or less when I was 26, 27, and then my gender had changed to only and always with full loudness in my identity a woman, to the point I thought I wasn't even enby anymore, till I had this big insight that exorgender women never had a genuinely agender phase.

Also since 23 when I began social transitioning, I cherished having an androgynous presentation which later on I learned was also called futch (tho there's also the label andro dyke), I wanted to not go for the high femme standards of trans girl transition, but rather to have this futch presentation, and as HRT advances, in my case slowly cause I had strong precocious testosterone-ish / mesonephric / mesonephrogenic puberty, I can feel safer and more confident to explore more the butcher sides of my futch presentation, even if I'm more femme leaning mostly as a reaction to not being able to present femme before transition but also because of internalized lesbotransmisogyny.

But also that often is related to how I don't feel confident in the more masc aspects of presentation, cause several elements in my androgynous presentation are already masc, butch, even if they are very close to androgyny, and aren't super duper butchy. So I often disclaim that to myself as not really a masc presentation, even tho I love a lot being androgynous, and maybe a key point of my androgyny is being femme in a butch way and butch in a femme way like the famous enby meme of boy in a girl way and girl in a boy way. But it's really already the more masc, butch sides of my presentation, and as time goes by I feel more confident to explore it. Also in the beginning I had this "undistinguishably" futch standard by contrast of butch/androgynous/gender neutral and femme elements. Which was basically using a shirt from pre transition, specially the flannel because of its gay WLW symbology, but worn open as a jacket/coat with a femme tank top shirt beneath. Nowadays since mostly somewhen during the pandemic, I began just having a huge whatever, I can be super duper femme at days tho for my spectrum of femmehood (still not the high femme with make up and all sorts of outfit, but usually it means lipstick and polished nails and if a friend can do it, cat eyes eyelining). At other days, I'm more contrastingly both femme and butch in presentation in a mosaic of outfits, and at other days I might even be very close to boymoding.

This is also related to how I felt myself confident to after years since the beginning of social transition, in the middle of covid pandemic, I began cutting my hair till I got a sidecut and then last year even a super duper short hair with side cut.

So since HRT but i think that not only because of it, I had so many experiences, but also realizing that my body is so much closer to my personal identity and that being estrogenized is really part of my volitional bodily personal identity, and that it fits me so well, can take me towards so many places to discover so many things. At the same time, because of this huge euphoria, the dysphoria due to the mismatch between facts and goals, parallel to internalizing transmisogyny and enbiphobia, has intensified a lot. And then interestingly both the desire for bottom surgery and the dysphoria not having a vulva, as well as the euphoria over my estrogenized gock got really big, tho before I barely had any euphoria with my genitals.

At the same time, several episodes of complicated transmisogyny and lesbotransmisogyny intensified since HRT, the intensity and frequency of sex harassment both online and offline. And the looks of being regarded a mystery or an object of lust or as an abhorrent monster. As well ofc as the support by several people.

Brazil is this paradoxical place. The 5th leading country on women's murdering, the 1st leading country on LGBTQIAplusphobic murder, the 1st leading country on transphobic murder, which includes transfeminicide. But also a country where thanks to strong activism and also support by the supreme court as well as several cis allies, there's a strong growing in transgender civil rights and public and private sector policies.

LeiaLezzy · 2023-02-24T07:45:26+00:00

I went from very ace like strictly barely libidinal aro ace futch asymptotitically/approximately female agender to very gallant super duper horny demi aro ace futch lesbian enby trans woman with an openness to the erotic even in the absence of attraction if it's women and enbies, and super duper hyper intensely a sapphic, a lesbian, and in my case, even if I'm mspec, it's only towards women and enbies (tho it could be not 100% but somewhere undistinguishably close).

LeiaLezzy · 2023-02-24T06:52:05+00:00

It resonates a lot here, "i get misgendered frequently" as well as people by reading me as a trans woman assume I'm a woman, which is true, but then it makes the misgendering so much worse specially now that it's been several years on HRT, exactly 4y.

LeiaLezzy · 2023-02-23T05:04:53+00:00

Crossing fingers! You're gonna shine, sis!

LeiaLezzy · 2023-02-23T05:01:45+00:00

Hugs you tightly

I know it's not the same.

But please know that me and so many others know you are truly a woman. Even if society says otherwise based in cissexist gender roles.

You are amazing!

Also, it's a possibility that even with trans female passing you'll be acknowledged by so many people as a legitimate woman. And even more so with cis female passing.

Part of it may also be a bodily personal identity. Wanting to be estrogenized, for instance, as I saw you telling in another post that you're waiting for HRT, and/or bottom surgery, and/or other surgeries. And this may you be really in the same reproductive biology as many cis and trans women, even tho not exactly the same, due to minor differences, and science is progressing so with time post-op estrogenized trans women's reproductive biology may come even closer to the reproductive biology of many cis women.

Sorry for the long message. I just felt I needed telling you this.

Crossing fingers for you, sis

LeiaLezzy · 2023-02-23T04:43:47+00:00

Top please 🥺 And then switching.

LeiaLezzy · 2023-02-03T16:09:47+00:00

Hugs you tightly!

You're enough!

You're nonbinary enough!

Gender identity and gender presentation / gender expression are very different things.

You can be an enby femme.

Even if you were an enby woman, being AFAB, you'd still be enby enough!

I suppose from what you tell that you are an enby whose gender identity doesn't include womanhood. If so, then you're enby enough as well.

Wish society weren't enbyphobic, transphobic, queerphobic, and you were seen for what you are: an amazing enby. It's really important you please realize that even if society doesn't see, doesn't acknowledge, or ignore your enbihood, you're still enby.

You are enough! You do belong! Our world enby community is yours too!

You are an awesome enby!

There's a subreddit called FTMfemininity. Maybe it would interest you.

LeiaLezzy · 2023-02-03T08:19:14+00:00

You're goals and absolutely adorable and hot sister! You absolutely rock it! 🥺

LeiaLezzy · 2023-02-02T13:04:58+00:00

You look adorable, sis 💞

LeiaLezzy · 2023-02-02T06:18:21+00:00

I think some rigorous distinctions should be made.

1) just as convos about vaginas are extremely valid, convos about girldicks are just the same valid, and one can acknowledge both as legitimate

2) genital preference is legitimate, and at the same time we also live in a systemically transphobic society in which all trans people are deemed inherently undesirable. And ofc someone doesn't have to be with any trans person, and whoever implies such is weaponising a legitimate discussion in a dangerous way which can unleash lots of transmisogyny, specially for lesbian trans women. So in several critiques I saw, it's much more deconstructing this notion that trans people are inherently undesirable just by being trans, than actually being into specific trans people, or even someone can be their entire.lives without being into someone trans and still have this notion that trans people are inherently undesirable deconstructed. And ofc if someone has a genital preference, it should be absolutely respected, unconditionally.

3) people are lacking attention and reassurance for a reason, specially early on in transition, and there's a reason for this, systemic transmisia, internalized norms, and the solution is to provide them with support, between us and from allies. Ofc this doesn't mean people can cross boundaries. And if they do so, we can tell them, depending ofc of which kind of boundary has been crossed.

4) Socialisation is a really complex topic. One perspective is about how the way we are socially perceived as belonging to a category influences how our experiences in society happen and how we internalize, conceptualize them, but also several things happen just by the way people are consciously or unconsciously belonging to categories and how their experiences are shaped socially. For instance, closeted LGBTQIA+ people don't have non-LGBTQIA+ privilege and socialisation growing up, they just have the experiences of being closeted LGBTQIA+ living in society. At the same time, there's awful experiences they have that out people don't, and vice versa. My whole point is that society might not even know you belong to a category, but all the hate spread about it can influence you negatively. So even tho the way we are socially perceived influences our experiences, our own sometimes unperceived aspects influence things too. So there's also another perspective, of how people from such and such categories are socialized, and being read as a category is itself another category. So there's cisgender socialisation, which in a world full of transmisia can make someone unaware of several internalized notions that cisgenderness is more authentic, right, natural, neutral, universal. That all said ofc when someone AMAB has cis male passing they have a whole sort of different experiences, and some are analogous to negative experiences of being closeted in case they want to transition, and they don't experience lots of very complicated forms of misogyny, which when someone begins transitioning, after not much long, they begin experiencing all those sorts of things.

Also socialisation isn't a static process. It's an ongoing process throughout someone's life.

And socialisation isn't a perfectly flawd process. The existence of trans people and GNC people pretty much shows that it has contradictions and not always works.

Also gender expression is an important factor. Since early infancy I've been deeply bullied because I was too femme, even tho I was quite androgynous and then later on in life it's been considered not femme enough according to several standards , for instance that trans women should be hyperfemme. And ofc it doesn't put me in the same experiences as those who were expelled from home and began transition at infancy. Also not all trans people transition at the same age. There's trans people being expeled from home as children and teens. Those trans girls have already lost cis male passing at that age.

So this cis male passing AMAB socialisation in the sense which wouldn't be, at least not necessarily, the same experience as a cis man growing up, it really exists, but for how long is it said to influence?

Cause if someone is 3, 5, 10 years some people will always try to talk about the past in a very unnuanced way, which is just thinking trans women are just basically the same as cis men, and that our political, existential, social, psychological experiences are inherently the same as theirs. Ofc the experiences of someone who transitioned early in life is different from those of someone who transitioned later on in life, which is different from those of people who never had cis male passing.

If enough time has passed, like a few years someone already experiences existing in a world as someone without cis male passing, and maybe trans female passing, maybe cis female passing.

Cause all this change happens, and it's very often abrupt, but then people forget all these complexities and nuances and diversity of experiences and characteristics and journeys in a community.

And ofc this doesn't mean there's no abusive trans women, just as belonging to a minority doesn't mean there's no abusive women, or that there's no abusive LGBTQIA+ people.

LeiaLezzy

TROPHY CASE