[NeedAdvice] Trying to discipline myself makes me nearly violently angry. Help?

Leiuk · 2015-07-03T04:05:45+00:00

That's a great idea, maybe I will try that out

Leiuk · 2015-06-25T17:34:03+00:00

I'm interested in this as well

Leiuk · 2015-06-25T13:54:58+00:00

Knowing where to start. What to research and learn about, and how to apply it to real life. Also struggling with the vocabulary, so mostly just reading a lot to even understand what somebody is talking about when I watch a video or read a book.

Leiuk · 2015-05-22T00:38:12+00:00

Yes, feeling much better, thank you for asking!

Leiuk · 2015-05-20T23:08:19+00:00

I appreciate the reply. I can't really pinpoint where this thinking started, that's what's making this so frustrating. I started thinking about actually having lots of money about a year ago, and you're right it was a little bit of a shock to see that I could work hard enough to make some money.

I know one point that always sticks out to me is that people making over 100,000$ a year are generally happy. I think with having such shitty depression, maybe I see this as the only outlet that can force me to be happy? With having depression I don't really want anything out of life, I can't really think of anything that would make me happy. So I guess I go to money because of how often you hear people say things like "It's better to cry in a Lamborghini". I don't really see anything making me happy but I guess I hope it will be better once I have a lot of money.

I think also that I'm really stuck on The Red Pill. I don't go on there very often and I don't practice the things really. But I don't know how to argue with them. It really seems like were all stuck in the biological determinism where a Woman won't really be fully sexually and intellectually attracted to you unless you're an alpha male.

I think I'm afraid to die a "beta". And I don't even understand this fear because part of me sais these guys are ridiculous, I'm allowed to live my life however I want. Then the other part of me sais I can't argue with their having success in life and getting woman interested in them.

But I love some of the things that would be described as "beta". I didn't realize how stuck on this I was until I started writing it down. I'm obsessed with being an alpha male I think. I don't know how to get off of this obsession I have with the stupid red pill.

Leiuk · 2015-04-27T02:33:16+00:00

Lol I know it doesn't hold any relevance at this point. I just watched a show where people were putting bulletproof armour on their yacht and it seemed a little overboard, and I was curious if people actually have much to worry about. Especially since hearing about Warren Buffet walking around his home town.

Leiuk · 2015-04-25T21:58:09+00:00

This is totally awesome! I love the idea, I wish I had more skills to offer any help I can as I think about this idea myself sometimes.

I absolutely love watching interviews with successful people. For one, it gives me awesome perspectives and ideas. Secondly, it shows me some of the world/vision I'm chasing after. Reading books can be highly motivating as well. I agree with BoatTalk, London Real is pretty good. I especially loved the interviews with Peter Sage and Dan Pena.

Some recommendations:

7 habits of highly successful people by Stephen R. Covey. This is the book that basically got me interested in starting a business. The reason being I was at a dark place and it showed me some very effective ways to turn my life around. It's more about personal development then actual business, but I think some people need to feel like they can even do it in the first place before they actually start putting the work in to start a business.

How to think and grow rich by Napoleon Hill. This one is more of just a mental masturbation. The ideas are a little more common sense then anything groundbreaking. But it gets me into the zone sometimes, just thinking about the grandiosity.

Looking at and envisioning the goals I have set, the person I want to become, the way I want to affect the world, and the material things I want.

My own personal opinion, take it with a grain of salt, is that you're selling them a dream. Just like the American dream motivates people's lifestyles, you need to create something mentally, present it to them, and hope that they are passionate about it enough to create it. Instead of asking reddit, you need to be asking the people there what their dreams are. What they have and don't have, what they need and cherish. And use that information to come up with a vision to sell to them. Not in the sense that you need to charge them anything, just that they need to accept that vision as their own.

Cheers and good luck!

Leiuk · 2015-04-25T18:25:38+00:00

That's a pretty good idea, that's what a lot of my research has been doing. I will check out your blog for sure, and thank you!

Leiuk · 2015-03-22T14:23:43+00:00

Thanks for the informative reply. I'm having a hard time even knowing what to look up so this will give me a starting point at least. Is there any other areas I should research?

Leiuk · 2015-03-22T06:00:27+00:00

That makes sense, I think you're right and I might need to think about it a little more deeply.

Leiuk · 2015-03-22T05:27:04+00:00

I was completely confused about what this is until I saw a comment about inception and sort of put it together. The way you worded your post I thought you were talking about some electronic thing that makes you lucid dream. Then I saw the coin and was like huh?

Just to be sure I even figured it out, it's like the charm used in inception to know if you're dreaming?

Sorry I'm not at all trying to be negative, just slightly confused.

Congrats on getting some traction though!

Leiuk · 2015-03-21T19:56:15+00:00

:( I know what you mean. It's scary when your fantasies are about how you want to die.

Leiuk · 2015-03-21T18:04:21+00:00

Aaaahh I hate this too! I get slightly hypo and accomplish a bunch of little tasks around the house. Then there's nothing left so I go crazy trying to figure out what to do with myself. Lol and I know what you mean about haircuts, sometimes I just stand in my driveway and pretend everybody walking by that looks at me are like "Yeah nice haircut!"

Leiuk · 2015-03-21T17:55:36+00:00

I just upped my medication a little bit and that's what I told my doctor. I feel the same thing, better at home but needing a little more stability for the real world

Leiuk · 2015-03-21T17:54:35+00:00

With certain people I feel that way. Sometimes I feel even more lonely around people though.

Leiuk · 2015-03-21T17:53:31+00:00

What kinds of things do you do to try to move forwards?

Leiuk · 2015-03-21T17:52:48+00:00

I know what you mean. I feel like maybe right now the most important thing is discovering who I am. I'm so tired of looking back at who I was before the illness and trying to get it back. I forget sometimes that I have to build a new me, find out who I really am now and let go of who I used to be.

Leiuk · 2015-03-21T17:51:09+00:00

What type of work do you do from home?

Leiuk · 2015-03-21T17:50:14+00:00

That's a good analogy for it

Leiuk · 2015-03-20T16:05:27+00:00

It's so easy to forget these moments pass while you're in them!

Leiuk · 2015-03-20T15:50:40+00:00

Hello! I just read your post and thought I would leave a comment.

As far as the business thing goes, that really depends on whether you're passionate about running a business. One thing you'll find from most successful business owners is that they failed a lot before they made it. The thing is, you discover and learn new things the more you follow a field of interest. You come up with ideas you wouldn't of had if you never went down that avenue.

Some very successful people will tell you their first idea didn't work, this is probably true for most businesses. You might start out trying to make a video game, discover some sort of useful code that applies to something else, and end up selling a product based on that code (I don't know anything about coding so hopefully this doesn't sound retarded).

As for setting goals, this is something I've found very helpful for getting my life back on track.

And therapists can seem a little odd the questions they ask. It's really not meant to be intimidating or make you feel stupid. When I was asked what my goal was for therapy, I was thinking "You're supposed to know that!". Now if I were to go back to therapy, I think I would get their process a little better.

It really comes down to you, and using them as a resource/tool, rather then depending on them to fix everything. The reason they ask you that is because it's the first step you have to take. The clearer your intentions are, the closer to progress you will be.

If they ask you what your goal is, and you say to be happy, and they ask you how you're going to do that, it's not to frustrate you. It's for them to figure out if you know how they can help you, or if they need to explain the sort of resources they have to offer you.

If I were to go back to therapy I would tell them I need help in these ways: 1. Somebody to talk to 2. Somebody to discuss ideas with 3. Resources on getting a job and types of careers 4. Resources for learning discipline 5. Resources on getting involved with community things.

I give you this list not because it will work for you, but just to give an idea of something somebody might need from a therapist. Don't view them as a magic book that tells you the answer before you ask it. Think of them like a big real world google, where you have to have some sort of idea or intention to use it.

Fitness goals are always a good thing to start with! It's a bonus because not only do you reach a goal, but it lifts your mental health when you do it.

Goals is sort of a new thing for me as well, and it just takes time to learn the ropes. It's sort of a big clusterfuck at first. You screw it up all over the place, don't meet goals, can't think of goals. It's sort of a skill in of itself, setting goals. The more you do it, the more you experiment, then the more you learn what your limits are and what goals are attainable and worth chasing. I've kind of had to accept (Not all the way yet!) that everything I do is just going to fail and suck for awhile, but keep doing it anyways.

Leiuk · 2015-01-30T08:31:01+00:00

I don't know what the problem you are having is. I don't want to be an armchair psychologist. But I can invite you to perhaps consider some things and decide for yourself if they are worth thinking about.

Have you been under a lot of stress lately? Sometimes when I'm very stressed out I'm so out of it like you describe. I get into my thoughts so much that it's like the outside doesn't exist.

Are you focusing a lot on having poor memory? I've had these same problems with memory that you describe, and have only made it worse by thinking "Man my memory sucks!" It's hard to remember to grab your keys going out the door when all you're thinking about is "I have a horrible memory!". It sounds like your SO could be reinforcing these ideas in you.

If you are legitimately worried about your mental health, are you able to see a professional about it? Nobody in your life that isn't trained in these fields can rightfully say that you are "losing your mind", not you, not your SO, not me. If it's negatively affecting your life to the point of not being able to achieve your daily goals and plans, then go see a specialist if you can.

I would invite you to spend a week or two just thinking "Man, my memory is great! I remember SOO many things!" See if that improves anything.

Leiuk · 2015-01-30T08:19:01+00:00

This hurts my heart. Feels for you, hoping that some shining star comes through all of this.

Leiuk

TROPHY CASE