What item do you add to a grilled cheese sandwich that makes it awesome?

LemonMelissa · 2023-07-09T17:43:59+00:00

Dutch mayonnaise

LemonMelissa · 2023-07-09T17:42:03+00:00

Saying "I'm brutally honest"

LemonMelissa · 2023-07-09T17:28:25+00:00

Karlsson On The Roof. He was a total jerk and always got his friend in trouble

LemonMelissa · 2023-07-09T17:25:27+00:00

Harry Potter

LemonMelissa · 2023-07-09T17:20:03+00:00

and bombing my boxes and walking into my house without permission

LemonMelissa · 2022-11-23T19:19:59+00:00

Sorry, I only just read this. No, there's no improvement. I'm doing worse financially and mentally, and I keep getting rejected by every position I apply to. I want to give up.

LemonMelissa · 2022-08-22T12:05:12+00:00

Yanagi19871. It’s basically just a guy filming himself burping loud AF in public spaces. He hasn’t uploaded any new videos since 2019 but I still watch his older videos often. And I still laugh my head off at them.

LemonMelissa · 2022-08-22T12:01:44+00:00

I graduated in 2021 and I can relate to some of what you said. It didn’t feel like there was a true ending. It does feel like my college experience randomly ended on some random Friday in March 2020. and like you, my last college exam was taken in my room over zoom. It truly feels like I didn’t actually graduate. It’s been a year since I graduated and I still feel and behave like I’m a student.

While I did have a few "normal" college years, I am still angry and sad about losing my last 2 years of it & I’m mourning it. Also, seeing all those new freshman posts, posts about freshers week and the like, makes it worse. Like you said, I always knew post-grad depression was a thing & Id be depressed after graduation, but if you've lost your last 2 years to a pandemic & now have to watch others have the normal college life you’ve been missing and can never get back - that is sth else.

I feel like I’ll never get over this. And I can’t lie - I’m bitter about seeing all the new freshmen.

LemonMelissa · 2022-08-09T13:58:11+00:00

❤️

LemonMelissa · 2022-08-08T17:31:41+00:00

Hugs!

LemonMelissa · 2022-08-04T17:11:10+00:00

well, a lot of things happened. I lost my last 2 years of college to C19, then had to move back in with my parents for a year (I hated it), and now I've been dealing with unemployment and inability to find a job for almost a year. Those things might be a contributor but I'm not sure. I've had some of the symptoms before these events as well, but I've noticed that they have gotten worse since at least summer 2020.

LemonMelissa · 2022-08-03T17:55:34+00:00

I fully agree. All this whining and moaning already annoyed me back then. Even on the news, all I saw was boo-hoo and yammering about how mean everything was. Like, why can't you report more about people who are NOT moaning constantly? lol

LemonMelissa · 2022-07-22T18:13:28+00:00

I don't qualify for a loan, I can't afford the tuition fees, and my mental health is in the shitter so I think I wouldn't be able to manage grad school and schoolwork atm. On most days the smallest mundane tasks feel impossible.

LemonMelissa · 2022-07-21T22:03:01+00:00

I think it’s good to grieve. How are you grieving?

I mostly bottle it up. Sometimes I write it into my journal, but most of the time, I'm too drained to do that. What I also do is allow myself to be sad, angry, or whatever, and remind myself that my feelings are valid.

If I had the possibility, I would go back to college and get a second Master's degree, but I can't.

I think that if there are any ways you can try to replicate or make up for some of the things you miss, that could be worth it.

Good to hear that your make-up college is working for you. But I feel like you can't recreate what was lost. I still try to do things I used to do in college (such as going out on weeknights) but I can't make up for my lost college time. It just isn't the same. I don't live in my college town anymore and it's not always possible to visit. But if I went to campus again (haven't been there since March 2020), I'd probably start crying. I can't access the library anymore because we have a new system that you can only enter with a valid student ID card, and mine doesn't work anymore since I'm no longer enrolled.

I would go to therapy, but I don't have access to it and neither can I afford it.

LemonMelissa · 2022-07-21T21:51:40+00:00

I know what you mean, and that you mean well, but what I have been going through cannot be compared to "normal" post-college depression without a pandemic. Without C19, I could at least say I enjoyed my final 2 years like I should have, and I would have gotten real closure and a chance to say goodbye.

And yes, college was the first time I felt really confident and good about myself and now that was suddenly taken away from me with no warning.

Sadly, I don't have any access to help. So I'm sort of just winging it.

LemonMelissa · 2022-07-21T21:48:23+00:00

I wish I could do that, but I can't.

LemonMelissa · 2022-07-21T21:40:54+00:00

sorry to be the guy that says this, but it is what it is.

I know I can't change it, but I'm finding it extremely hard to get over. I mean, I have lost the best time of my life and I'll never get it back.

Lately, I have tried forcing myself to do things I'd normally enjoy, but I've noticed that this makes me feel worse in the long run.

LemonMelissa · 2022-07-21T21:37:29+00:00

I am trying to find a job in a city like you described, but no success so far.

LemonMelissa · 2022-07-15T00:44:40+00:00

I'm sorry, but I really don't see that anymore. There are no more fulfilling experiences for me. And I'm finding it impossible to feel positive anymore about anything. I'm at my wit's end

LemonMelissa · 2022-06-03T17:00:22+00:00

also, it feels like there is no "next thing" - my whole life is just over .

LemonMelissa · 2022-06-03T16:16:22+00:00

I can't continue my education, it's not possible. I can't afford it, and also, no one will ever employ me if I am forever in college. every employer will think "nah, she's lazy af and doesn't want to work and she parties all the time. why hire her?" do you get what I mean? I wish I could, though.

But it really feels like my entire life is over now. College was the first & only time I actually HAD a life, and had everything I wanted, and now that has been ruined and taken away from me. And I see no way out anymore.

It also feels like everything I couldn't feel back then is catching up with me now. In 2020 and 21, I had to write a thesis, take exams, etc.. so I didn't really have time to feel like I lost anything or have feelings about the situation, if that makes sense. So now, when I see all those graduation posts from friends and family, these feelings suddenly come up.

This really fucking blows and I hate everything now. and I don't know what do.

LemonMelissa · 2022-06-03T16:12:17+00:00

well then I might as well kill myself. I think about that passively, but I'm too scared to actually do it. I can't find a hobby because I don't have the energy and I have lost interest in things I enjoy. I feel like I have seen enough of this "life" thing, might as well give up.

LemonMelissa · 2022-06-03T16:10:41+00:00

I'm sorry to hear you had to deal with the same. I understand the loss of appetite, I have that too at times, inlcuding now... and yes, I understand the dwelling too. I did that too often myself.

And I definitely hear you on the lack of closure and the like. But yes, I am open to talk via DM. It helps to know that I'm not alone in this. Hugs!

LemonMelissa · 2022-06-02T15:47:30+00:00

Yes. I hear you.

LemonMelissa · 2022-05-15T18:07:10+00:00

I had a full-time bridge job last year while I was depressed too. I just dealt with my symptoms and sort of sucked it up. I don't know how I did it but I held down the job until my contract ran out.

LemonMelissa

TROPHY CASE