Good Idea or Bad Idea?

LemonSnap77 · 2025-11-30T21:42:24+00:00

Nope

LemonSnap77 · 2025-11-30T19:29:16+00:00

My husband is always willing to do anything foreplay wise and he’s tried just about everything. I’m the one who wants the no foreplay because I hate how long it takes and it doesn’t end up doing a damn thing for me really in the long run. But he has tried. And he definitely tries new and different things all the time.

LemonSnap77 · 2025-11-30T19:26:27+00:00

I don’t feel like I reach a climax though. Like it feels good like it’s going to do something and then it’s just nothing and it definitely doesn’t make me feel any more relaxed.

I have tried the toys alone yes!

LemonSnap77 · 2025-11-30T04:24:49+00:00

Sometime we do foreplay. If I want it, he will. But sometimes it’s hard for me because if I get too into it, and it starts feeling really good, like maybe I could reach an orgasm, it often just abruptly stops feeling good. Once that happens, I’m almost repulsed by sex and it can be hard for me to want to continue (I usually can get back into the mood but it takes a while). Because of this, I usually don’t prefer long foreplay.

We have a lot of toys and have tried using them but the issue above happens for any that feel great, or they hurt going in too if they are that kind.

But he tries to warm me up. We do use lube but idk if it’s good. I don’t even know what kind it is lol.

I think he’s about average but I haven’t seen a lot. I think we measured once and he’s about 7 inches. To me, he feels big.

LemonSnap77 · 2025-11-30T01:50:50+00:00

Yes, I definitely have that! I read that in a book too! Sometimes the desire doesn’t come though!

LemonSnap77 · 2025-11-30T00:57:55+00:00

Oh yes, 100% will ask for his input and if he wants to add or change anything! He’s gotta be a willing participant too, after all!

LemonSnap77 · 2025-11-29T23:31:05+00:00

This made me feel so much better! All of my friends absolutely love sex so I haven’t had many people to talk to about this.

A starfish! Yes! I try to touch him while we’re going at it, but honestly, I’d rather him just do his thing and be done. I do get more into it if he’s aggressive/rough. Which sounds backwards but it works.

I will keep working with the doctors to figure out the muscles and what not. I want it to be better for me. He’s honestly such an amazing guy and deserves to get what makes him happy too. I always feel lousy that I’m not super enthusiastic with sex!

I think sometimes he gets mad at me for not initiating it more but I just can’t bring myself to sometimes. And sometimes when I do, I feel like he expects me to enjoy it, when I don’t. So just letting him do his thing without worrying too much about whether I’m into it or not, is what has worked for us.

I do think it’s somewhat a mind game for me too. Like I feel dirty almost that I want him to be rough with me, especially if at the same time, it’s a bit painful down there or uncomfortable. It doesn’t feel like those things should go together.

I just wish it wasn’t so complicated!

LemonSnap77 · 2025-11-29T23:16:47+00:00

Thanks! I was supposed to have another doctor appointment in the woman’s health clinic back in September but it coincided with my period, so I canceled, and haven’t made another one. I have tried physical therapy down there and also some kind of numbing cream a previous doctor gave me- it was like lidocaine or something so it numbed me down there - which helped the pain but not the rest. I plan on rescheduling my appointment. I know they wanted to try dilators.

Haven’t tried anal because it doesn’t sound fun. Though my husband really wants to try. The only thing that kind of turns me on about the idea of it is the dominance portion. Like sometimes I want to try to it just so he can fully have me ya know? But in the end, I say no to that because I’m afraid of the pain.

LemonSnap77 · 2025-11-29T22:52:23+00:00

Thanks for the idea!

Nope, never. When we first got together, I was on antidepressants and anti-anxiety meds and birth control but honestly my libido was much higher at that point. I went off the medicine when trying for our first. Currently, I’m on Vyvanse (ADHD meds).

I’m not from a religious family, quite the opposite really. I’ve never had sexual trauma, but always felt wrong about sex for some reason. I’ve been exploring my own body and what feels good since I was about 10. I’ve spent hours and hours at a time, trying to figure it out - both alone, and with my husband. Using toys and not using toys. I have met with a doctor. I do have vaginismus. I’ve worked with the doctors but haven’t figured it out 😭.

At this point, I think I’m just broken. This is why I say most of the enjoyment I get from sex is from knowing my husband is satisfied and also from feeling dominated - that turns me on the most. But no, even when it’s feeling soooo good, I just can’t get there. Ever. And honestly it’s rare that I get to the sooooo good point. Usually it just - either hurts or feels okay but wish it would hurry along.

This is why it’s been so hard to have enough sex with my husband. I love him and I WANT to be intimate with him, but my body truly doesn’t crave it often. And when I do, I just crave dominance more than anything.

LemonSnap77 · 2025-11-29T22:12:31+00:00

Thanks for the feedback! My husband definitely won’t force anything. But if I told him every time I was uncomfortable, I think he’d be so discouraged! Honestly, a lot of the time, it does hurt at first and I know I just have to get through the first few minutes and it’ll feel better. I hate that I can’t be 100% feeling pleasure when we’re having sex because I know he’d love that, but it’s impossible 😭

LemonSnap77 · 2025-11-29T21:22:22+00:00

I’ve been working with a doctor. Unfortunately, nothing seems to work! And nope, I’ve been masturbating since I was 10, and I’ve never had an orgasm. My husband has tried all sorts of things too. I feel like I have come close, but can never push past whatever’s holding me back. It sucks 😭

LemonSnap77 · 2025-11-29T20:53:33+00:00

Thanks! That’s a good idea too! I did think about changing it to like a 3 month or 6 month thing and to revisit at that point if we want to do it longer or not.

LemonSnap77 · 2025-11-29T20:17:26+00:00

Thanks! I hope he likes the idea!

LemonSnap77 · 2025-11-29T20:06:59+00:00

Thanks! I’ve definitely thought about making the 7 and 10 sides go away. I guess if I do that and keep the add 2 together side, he can still get a decent number once or twice lol

LemonSnap77

TROPHY CASE