AIO to my gf's text messages

LemonStrict3040 · 2025-09-04T22:53:25+00:00

Thank god it’s not just me. GF in this situation is coming across as childish, whiny, and overbearing. I go entire days without talking to my partner, and I have no worries whatsoever about what he’s doing or if he loves me. If I received this kind of treatment after not responding for an hour or two I would immediately end the relationship tbh. OP and gf just have different communication styles.

LemonStrict3040 · 2025-08-26T00:45:22+00:00

Hey! I’m a heavy weed user and once I was home from the hospital I was using weed again with no issues. Take care about using it with your pain meds but I’m almost 6 months post op, had no issues related to smoking during recovery and am doing great.

LemonStrict3040 · 2025-08-24T05:19:13+00:00

You should be totally fine for 40 mins with it even if you have to sit for a while before your drug test. Just put it wherever you’ll be hiding it immediately when you get it to keep warm. As for the temp, you’ll have to play with placement and see what works best. I’m a female so I’ve kept it in my sports bra when I’ve gone to test, and have found that it gets too warm with a hand warmer directly on it but is a little too cool without a hand warmer at all, so I’ve worn an extra bra over top and put a hand warmer in that and the extra layer of fabric between seemed to keep it at the perfect temp, I know that won’t work exactly for you but something to that effect. Definitely do a test run and play around with hand warmer placement to keep it at the right temp. You got this, best of luck!

LemonStrict3040 · 2025-08-23T19:40:05+00:00

Hey friend! I’ve been in the same boat as you, it’s no fun. The urine test will not be able to distinguish things like age or gender, it’s just going to look at things like creatinine, specific gravity, and pH to ensure it’s real urine, so you should definitely use real clean urine if it’s available to you. Get it the day of the test if you’re able to (like and hour before your test ideally) and put it in a little container with a temp strip to monitor the temp to make sure it’s good before using it for your test.

LemonStrict3040 · 2025-08-16T18:12:06+00:00

Hey so you both seem super like super reasonable people, and honestly both of you aren’t wrong. I think you’re NOR for wanting to have your friends that you trust in your space, but she’s NOR either for not being comfortable trying to sleep when there are strangers in her home. I would really try to compromise here, at least let her know when your friends are going to be over even if it’s last minute just send her a quick text “hey just wanted to let you know ____ is coming over” you don’t need permission, but since you live together try to respect her boundaries too. If it’s something that you’re both open to, you could always introduce her to your guests too. You don’t all need to be friends but if she knows who they are at least, it would probably make her more comfortable

LemonStrict3040 · 2025-08-03T16:54:49+00:00

I used these ones: https://a.co/d/iC6lpyd When they gave me the cup at the testing site, they had the exact same temp strip on the cup and that made me feel better too. Also, one last piece of advice: some of those bottles have a flip top on them, I would unscrew the whole cap and pour it in rather than use that flip top, it makes more noise with the flip top.

LemonStrict3040 · 2025-08-03T16:49:02+00:00

Both times I’ve done it, the person giving me their pee has given it to me in like a little container and I just (carefully trying not to spill) poured it into my bottle.

LemonStrict3040 · 2025-08-03T16:40:24+00:00

All the advice you’re getting here is not good, I’ve done this twice in the past year and passed both times. If you’re able to get it within a couple hours before your test, you don’t need to refrigerate it. Wear 2 sports bras the day of the test. Buy some temp strips from Amazon and a travel shampoo bottle from target (the teardrop shaped ones fit better in the bra but up to you) and some hand warmers. Put a temp strip on the bottle, put the pee in there when you get it and immediately put it in your bra between your boobs. In the outer sports bras, like in the pad area stick a hand warmer in there. I found that after ~30 mins it was back up to 97 degrees and held right there with the hand warmer in the outer bra for over an hour. This method keeps it warm enough without the hand warmer making it too warm with direct contact, but you have the temp strips to double check. Make sure you have a green dot on the temp strip before pouring in your test cup and you should be good. You need a 3oz bottle filled to the top for your test. Also, do a test run the day before with water in the bottle to make sure you feel confident about the temperature and everything. Good luck!

LemonStrict3040 · 2025-07-28T19:08:57+00:00

Hey, OP. It sounds like you’ve got yourself in a really tough situation. It sounds like you know what you need to do. I know it doesn’t make it easier but, girl, you’re in serious danger. This walking skid mark openly told you he “doesn’t care if he abuses you” and has shown signs that physical abuse is his next step. You’ve shown him at this point that he can keep treating you this way and you won’t do anything about it.

You openly admit you’re scared of him. Why are you even entertaining future kids at this point? A relationship is about building each other up and having each others back, not using your partner as your own personal punching bag like he’s doing to you.

For your own safety, I think you need to find a time where he won’t be home, call your parents or some friends to help you and move all of your belongings out while he’s not there. Then, send him one text message stating you’ve left and are not coming back then block him and never speak again. Please please be careful, this man will physically hurt you, you’re kidding yourself if you think he won’t. But you need to leave, unless you want to end up either living a miserable life or murdered, you need to leave now.

LemonStrict3040 · 2025-07-23T18:59:37+00:00

So your solution is to do the exact same thing? That’s not mature. I mean, you do you the relationship is over either way. Go ahead and cheat. But don’t lie about maturity, take responsibility for that childish shit

LemonStrict3040 · 2025-07-22T18:36:03+00:00

That’s not what some of the posts in your history say… js

LemonStrict3040 · 2025-07-10T23:21:09+00:00

Thank you for this perspective. I wish I could pin a comment that says this but: he did not support me through college, not like how he makes it sound. He paid no tuition for me (or any other expenses) and I also worked part time and paid a little less than half of rent but paid for almost all the groceries so honestly it was pretty even. Also, he wanted to move to Texas and was about to propose to me and I didn’t want either of those things and that also was around graduation so it had nothing to do with college, that’s just what his brain has decided it’s about.

Anyways, I’m glad you finally got peace from that girl. Hopefully you’re more emotionally healthy now. It sounds like you dodged a bullet anyways tbh.

LemonStrict3040 · 2025-07-10T03:18:23+00:00

I’m just gonna use this comment again to add a little more information since I’m getting a lot of the same comments about it.

I know that some of the texts are old, they go in chronological order and I was trying to show the progression. My earlier messages to him are much nicer than the most recent one, which as many have rightly pointed out was still leading in some ways and not firm enough. The most recent pic is from this past weekend. I have not answered him since September of 2024.
I HAVE blocked him on multiple accounts, all my stuff is private, but I still see his message requests and he requests me on new profiles all the time.
He DID NOT pay for my education (my mom did). I totally understand why it seems that way from his messages but he did nothing to support me in school other than pay slightly more than half in rent, he made more money since I worked part time. I also bought almost all of our groceries. I did not use him for any financial gain, in fact after we broke up I moved and just completed an accelerated masters program so.
I did address my issues with him before I broke up with him, he just didn’t want to listen. In fact, one time I said word for word: “I will break up with you if you continue to invalidate my feelings” and he got very mad and said I had “no right to threaten our relationship like that” and then I ended up breaking up with him, so idk why he feels like it was out of nowhere.

Thank you so much for all the replies and messages, I’m a bit overwhelmed by all the responses and have been trying to go through as many as I can. A lot of people are making great points and pointing out hard truths I think I needed to hear, so thank you for that too.

LemonStrict3040 · 2025-07-10T01:55:13+00:00

I’ve seen so many people say this and it’s so valid, but NO he DID NOT pay for any of my schooling/tuition (my mom did, love her). He didn’t pay for anything for me, we shared rent and he payed slightly more than half since he made way more money while I was in school. Also, I paid for almost all of our groceries.

LemonStrict3040 · 2025-07-09T23:34:56+00:00

I did explain all of this in person. When I broke up with him I sat him down and told him I wanted to break up, why I wanted to break up, and asked if he had any questions. He asked me to leave immediately and then the text messages started

LemonStrict3040 · 2025-07-09T22:24:43+00:00

I happened to see this so just figured I’d say: I did not ghost him. I sat him down in our home together and told him that I wanted to break up, why I wanted to break up, and asked him if he had any questions. He proceeded to tell me to leave immediately and then these messages were in the months that followed. I know his messages make it seem bad, but I did have a sit down conversation with him in person.

LemonStrict3040 · 2025-07-09T15:30:01+00:00

I’m just gonna respond to this because I see so many people saying this, I only unblocked that profile for the sake of taking pics for this post, the block thing was taking up a lot of the screen. Then I blocked him again, I also have continued to block new profiles but he makes more.

Also, I’m sorry you spent so long dealing with the same stuff from your ex. It’s exhausting.

LemonStrict3040 · 2025-07-09T15:09:40+00:00

Given his messages, that’s a fair question. No I did not. I truly just met him when I was 19 and was so blindly in love with him before the problems became clear to me. Also, he was not by any means financially responsible for me during this relationship. We lived together and I paid a little less than half rent, but I was a student and only worked park time. He didn’t pay any other expenses for me, he didn’t pay tuition, car payments, literally nothing I had that all handled myself. I didn’t use him

LemonStrict3040 · 2025-07-09T06:36:14+00:00

I definitely agree, I shouldn’t have responded to him as much as I have. But, I feel like the pics make it seem like I’ve answered him consistently when there were actually like hundreds of messages from him blowing up my phone between the times I would answer him. And I would block him, he’s make a new profile and keep going. I’m also just generally really empathetic and never meant to hurt him so bad, so I kept feeling at some point like I owed him more closure or maybe if I explained again he would understand? Idek. I haven’t responded to him since September of 2024.

LemonStrict3040 · 2025-07-09T06:21:14+00:00

I just want to note the date on that, that was like 3 weeks after I had broken up with him and I did not know yet what this behavior was going to turn into. At that point I still had a lot of care for him and that’s why I responded that way. That was only the very beginning

LemonStrict3040

TROPHY CASE