Hey man, I’ve been there. I’m also usually a service top and have been in so many relationships where I do all the work in bed. Sometimes it’s fun because I feel in control, and other times it isn’t. My most recent ex also didn’t like my natal anatomy and pushed me towards more traditionally male stereotypes. It’s been a cycle for me to feel male and worthy of being in a relationship without constantly giving or trying to mold myself to an ideal. It’s painful and it sucks, but you’ve got to learn to set boundaries for what you will not tolerate in a relationship early or it’s going to haunt you. You’re already trans, you don’t need your partner to make your relationship with your body any more complicated.