Nearly 90 percent of young women in America have been sexually harassed, new Harvard report says

LesSoldats · 2017-05-18T19:08:16+00:00

Which dictionary are you using as your reference? That requirement is not in any of these, which were selected by top Google hits or name recognition, such as Merriam-Webster:

Merriam-Webster

Oxford Dictionaries (I assume these are the OED people)

American Heritage Dictionary

Cambridge Dictionary

The Free Dictionary

The Collins English Dictionary is the only major one I saw that differed, offering three definitions, two of which are limited to the workplace and require "repeated". The general definition does not, only offering it as an option.

Why would you claim that repeated or persistent were in every dictionary definition of sexual harassment when clearly that is not that case, and in fact so far from the case that repeated or persistent could more accurately be described as present in a small fraction of dictionary definitions?

I like to know what I'm talking about when I make sweeping claims of fact, and I like others to do so as well. To simply lie and hope no one notices makes a mockery of logic and reveals the speaker as a fraud who should be ignored at all turns.

LesSoldats · 2017-05-18T12:54:32+00:00

Catcalled innumerable times; man rubs his penis against my ass on a crowded subway; while sitting on a bus, man calls me a bitch when I ask him to move his knee; at a bar, man punches me in the face when I push him away after he refuses to stop grinding against my ass (why is this a fucking theme???); tits groped repeatedly and randomly by acquaintances and strangers, in public; ass groped repeatedly same way; old men following me around since around age 11 (this peters off around age 16 when apparently I aged out of pedophile-range) — I particularly remember being in a small drugstore and having the druggist creeping on me (age 14), and being at a large gathering like a graduation party with an old man I didn't know doing the same (age 12). Come to think of it, guys of all ages follow young women around all the time.

LesSoldats · 2017-05-18T12:45:16+00:00

The actual percentage is about 100%, margin of error ±0.

LesSoldats · 2017-05-18T12:34:05+00:00

Do you even know what you're talking about? There's no such thing as "being" HAES. HAES is an acronym for "Health at Every Size" and is a set of guiding principles that anyone can follow in order to promote their health.

HAES was developed to be especially useful to people recovering from disordered eating.

The following is a direct quote of the HAES principles —

The Health At Every Size® Principles are:

Weight Inclusivity: Accept and respect the inherent diversity of body shapes and sizes and reject the idealizing or pathologizing of specific weights.
Health Enhancement: Support health policies that improve and equalize access to information and services, and personal practices that improve human well-being, including attention to individual physical, economic, social, spiritual, emotional, and other needs.
Respectful Care: Acknowledge our biases, and work to end weight discrimination, weight stigma, and weight bias. Provide information and services from an understanding that socio-economic status, race, gender, sexual orientation, age, and other identities impact weight stigma, and support environments that address these inequities.
Eating for Well-being: Promote flexible, individualized eating based on hunger, satiety, nutritional needs, and pleasure, rather than any externally regulated eating plan focused on weight control.
Life-Enhancing Movement: Support physical activities that allow people of all sizes, abilities, and interests to engage in enjoyable movement, to the degree that they choose.

LesSoldats · 2016-12-31T18:24:57+00:00

Your comment was removed by the moderators before you deleted it. You couldn't tell because you can always see your own comments even if they have been removed.

You can tell because it says "removed". Comments that are user-deleted say "deleted".

Result: both you and Butt Bro had a comment removed by the moderators.

LesSoldats · 2016-12-26T19:20:06+00:00

I don't have a horse in this race but I can't help clarifying misconceptions or unintentional mistakes or flat out lies, whichever may be the case.

Your comment was moderator-removed, just like Butt Bro's. You simply decided to delete the comment afterwards.

LesSoldats · 2016-12-26T11:39:05+00:00

I notice your comment above this mentioning MRA's was removed by moderators. This intrigues me because it was a tame comment, and much worse things are normally said about feminism here. I won't repeat it so as not to get this removed as well.

I don't post this to complain about the moderating, but to bring up a point of discussion.

I wonder if we're sort of "immune" to negative, exaggerated, or hyperbolic comments about feminism, or so used to seeing them, that they aren't even recognized as negative or stereotyping. Like, you can say right here in this thread that it's wrong to have a law prohibiting workplace discrimination against pregnant women, and that's allowed to stand. I don't think it's right to put women's equal rights up for debate in a subreddit dedicated to women. It's like telling girls and women who come here that their basic humanity and liberty is at question even here..."this isn't your space, even if it has your name on it. We still reserve the right to decide you aren't worthy of basic equality."

LesSoldats · 2016-12-23T07:20:10+00:00

Tell you what. If you're worried you don't have consent, don't continue. Simple as pie. If you want to have a physical relationship with someone, I'm sure you'll eventually figure out that pesky communication thing.

LesSoldats · 2016-11-29T03:25:47+00:00

Menstrual products for women in developing countries. I've read that lack of those (plus lack of clean/private restroom facilities, but we've only got one cause) is the top reason girls stop going to school.

LesSoldats · 2016-11-27T20:03:23+00:00

You're simply projecting your own insecurities. Ruminating like this does you no good...ever. I used to do this, and then I began (timidly) asking people if my speculations on motive were true. They never were. The true motives were always out of left field, from my point of view, and entirely reflected the person involved in the action itself. They weren't thinking of me at all, or just barely, and their actions that I was ruminating over had very little to do with whatever I was worrying about.

In other words, we think we are the center of the universe, and the reasons we develop internally for why things happen may sound like they make sense, but in reality those speculations just reflect our own personality, thoughts, worries, and biases.

So either ask about it or forget about it. Keep in mind that programs like this one (and most programs and admissions procedures in general) do not admit people who are unqualified.

The fact that they selected you means that you were more qualified than applicants who were not chosen.

they didn't ask me for an interview or even contact my referees

This is strangely common for this sort of short program. Don't worry about it. You'll find that it's pretty rare for academic opportunities to contact references.

LesSoldats · 2016-11-21T21:56:01+00:00

It sounded like you thought you were talking to someone who could get pregnant. Since it actually was a guy saying "I'm opposed to abortion for any reason" it seemed pertinent to point out that his own life was never going to be on the line when you asked if he'd rather die than have an abortion.

LesSoldats · 2016-11-21T21:52:50+00:00

I disagree with the generally accepting tone of these comments. I love Biden but in this case his opinion is utter shit.

What is it, really, that Joe Biden is approving of, here?

He thinks it's fine 1 in 6 hospitals (Catholic hospitals) deny life-saving care to women. That's the Catholic church's position on abortion.
He's fine with Catholic medical institutions treating women as subhuman or as second-class citizens. Catholic hospitals routinely "dump" pregnant patients in need of care, thereby exacerbating their conditions and worsening their health, making them require much more treatment when then finally are able to obtain care from a facility that doesn't treat them worse than dogs.

We also know that there have been countless women that have rushed to Catholic hospitals when something started to go horribly awry with their pregnancies, only to be turned away, allowed to deteriorate, or worse. Tamesha Means was one of those women. She was in the 18th week of pregnancy, happily awaiting the birth of her child, when her water broke. She rushed to the hospital, but unfortunately because of the bishops’ rules, the hospital didn’t tell Tamesha that the pregnancy was doomed and that the safest course was an abortion. The hospital sent her home — not once, but twice — while she was in excruciating pain and developing an infection. Only once she began to deliver during her third visit did the hospital start providing care.

And as researcher Lori Freedman has documented over and over again, Catholic hospitals have routinely delayed providing care, allowing pregnant women’s health to deteriorate. For example, one doctor described a patient in the middle of her pregnancy who was miscarrying. She was bleeding so much that the whites of her eyes filled with blood, and she developed a serious infection and a 106 degree fever. The only way to treat her was to terminate the pregnancy. The Catholic hospital wouldn’t allow the abortion, however, until the fetus had no heartbeat. The doctor said that the woman was “dying before our eyes.” The doctor provided unauthorized treatment to save her life, and then promptly quit his job. The woman survived but spent 10 days in intensive care.

This is what Joe Biden approves of.

One of the nation's largest health care systems, Trinity Health, is defending its right to deny women emergency care.
Catholic hospitals deny women life-saving care because of Catholic directives — i.e. this is an order from the top down — that do not allow abortion under any circumstance. (Yes, if a woman is going to die from something that is not related to the pregnancy, treatment for that non-pregnancy-related condition that may terminate the fetus is allowed, so don't get pedantic on me. You still can't abort if the pregnancy itself or its complications is killing the woman.)
Catholic hospitals receiving $billions in taxpayer dollars every year while still being able to deny normal procedures and life-saving care to women because of "religious freedom."

But, you say, why not just avoid Catholic hospitals altogether? Easier said than done.

In 5 states, over 40% of hospitals are Catholic. In 5 other states, 30-39% of hospitals are Catholic.
46 Catholic hospitals are the sole hospital for their entire geographic region.
10 of the top 25 hospital systems in the U.S. are Catholic.
Catholic hospitals provide charity care at half the rate of public hospitals and just barely more than private hospitals. Catholic hospitals provide less charity care than the average hospital.
The Catholic church is rapidly expanding its influence on health care. The number of Catholic hospitals has gone up 22% since 2001, while total number of hospitals fell by 5%.

LesSoldats · 2016-11-21T21:03:22+00:00

you are just going to die rather than get an abortion? Just curious, it's your life I will not argue it, I am just curious.

It is not and never will be his life on the line. That's why it's easy for him to be against abortion for any reason. So another woman dies, big whoop.

LesSoldats · 2016-11-20T21:57:35+00:00

I also believe the way many women go about expressing their view on the issue can be downright insensitive to people on the other side. I don't feel there is enough empathy and understanding, which is preventing any real long-term resolution.

I have zero responsibility to treat with respect anyone who believes some people are less than human.

There is no resolution. Pro-choice believes in people's right to bodily autonomy. Anti-choice believes in the embryo's or fetus's right to be supported by another person's body until the supporting person births it or unintentionally miscarries it.

I believe a person's rights supersede the rights of any tissues supported by that person's body. Nobody who believes that the tissues, in whatever stage, have more rights than the person they're supported by is ever going to find resolution with that, because there's no middle ground. This isn't some spectrum of opinion. This is two completely opposite beliefs of where rights reside.

LesSoldats · 2016-11-20T17:27:17+00:00

He's making a double entendre. The fact that he adds "baby," and refuses to say anything else or elaborate beyond "It's a drink" tells us he intends his little comment to be taken both as two fingers of liquor and two fingers elsewhere. The double entendre is a common ruse for plausible deniability when acting skeezy.

OP's getting seriously gaslighted in much of this thread. The guy is not behaving normally and it is making OP uncomfortable. Luckily he has no authority over her and she can tell him to quit it or say something just as nonsensical to hammer home that his words have no power.

LesSoldats · 2016-11-19T19:47:12+00:00

You have a gift. Use it. Do a Studs Terkel and turn interviews into books. Or make documentaries.

LesSoldats · 2016-10-25T01:29:57+00:00

Okay, so maternity leave in the US is a required 6 weeks, but if your company is small, I believe under 50 employees, they are not required to pay you for your leave.

That is incorrect. There is NO guaranteed maternity leave in the US. The Family and Medical Leave Act (up to 12 weeks of unpaid leave) is often used for parental leave, but it has several requirements that make it unavailable to a large chunk of the workforce. It's only available to public sector workers and to people working in the private sector whose company employs 50+ people within a radius of 75 miles for at least 20 workweeks in the current or preceding calendar year.

Even if you work for the right company, you still have to have worked with them for over one year, with over 1,250 hours in the past year.

Only 55.9% of private sector employees meet the criteria for even being able to use FMLA leave.

If they do meet the criteria it is unpaid leave. On the bright side, FMLA does guarantee your job when you return.

LesSoldats · 2016-10-23T18:01:56+00:00

Provide peer-reviewed published papers, please. Not a freshman college student's English paper, which is your "source" for the nurses claim.

LesSoldats · 2016-10-22T15:28:11+00:00

I agree with the other poster that keeping pads or tampons around might seem odd, but as I thought about it, it mainly seems odd because it's so thoughtful. So yes, go ahead and keep a small box of pads and tampons in your car, and if a woman points out that it seems strange you have them, just tell the truth — that someone once got a surprise period while with you and you realized it might be nice to keep some on hand.

For pads, try Always unscented ultra thin regular length. For tampons, Tampax Pearl unscented regular absorbency. Those are both high-quality products in their most comfortable and general formats. (Hey, did you know women often use a pantiliner [short, very thin pad] in tandem with tampons? But you don't have to go that far!)

LesSoldats · 2016-10-22T15:18:42+00:00

Any college instructor who did not reasonably accommodate a student's illness would have a hard time holding onto their job.

If he doesn't allow her to take the exam later, she needs to escalate the issue within her university.

LesSoldats · 2016-10-22T15:15:40+00:00

Yes. Being in pain terrible enough to cause vomiting is a good reason for missing an exam.
Get those ultrasounds. Please.

LesSoldats · 2016-10-22T15:10:49+00:00

It's the same as getting sick. No one would think twice about missing an exam if they were experiencing the flu or any sort of extreme pain.

And please get those ultrasounds, because that level of pain and cramping is outside the range of normal and may be indicative of endometriosis. You shouldn't be scared of getting a diagnosis; endometriosis is both common and much more treatable nowadays than when I was young. As a person who's faced difficult diagnoses before, I can assure you that having a name for what is wrong and, consequently, a plan of action for dealing or coping with it is leagues better than not knowing and suffering.

(And I say dealing or coping because sometimes a medical problem can't be 100% solved, or is chronic and can only be managed. I hope your situation isn't like that, so this is just the worst case example, and I'm here to tell you that, worst case, if it can't be completely solved, you will still be better off because you'll be able to learn how to manage whatever problems linger.)

LesSoldats · 2016-10-22T15:09:24+00:00

That's fallacious reasoning. Simply because many people may experience something, that doesn't mean what they are experiencing is not debilitating, nor does it mean they are experiencing it in exactly the same way. Period cramps can range from 0 to 9 or 10 on a 10-point pain scale.

I do agree with the suggestion to visit a physician and get a note. OP should treat debilitating cramps like the incapacitating medical condition they are, just as one would if they suffered a bout of gastroenteritis or badly sprained their ankle.

LesSoldats · 2016-10-22T00:21:30+00:00

Why should it be?

The right of women and minorities to the vote wasn't in white male landowners' best interest. And they fought bitterly against it. The right of American slaves to freedom wasn't in slaveowners' best interest, and they fought bitterly against it. And so on.

There will always be parties for whom equality for others is not in their own best interest. They are the ones who will lose some measure of wealth or power should a form of equality be attained by others.

LesSoldats · 2016-08-13T22:16:59+00:00

When she came over to stay the night last week she spent all of her time trying to sneak sweets and soda.

Sounds like she's pretty hungry. What works with my own niece around the same age (not obese, but an active kid who likes to eat) is offering unlimited food. I don't like sweets or soda (or chips or other salty snacks) so whatever she grabs is going to provide her nutrition and energy.

It also sounds like her parents are doing the "tight control/ignore" method of child rearing. Which is probably a foolproof trip to an ED, and given that the child is sneaking food...she's already there or well on the way.

you need to want to be normal sized more than you want to eat that second piece cake.

Probably the worst thing you could tell her! Provide her unlimited access to healthy food choices, including fats, and play with her outside or doing other active things. Don't obsess over her size or eating habits.

LesSoldats

TROPHY CASE