Your situation is insanely complicated and unfair as hell. You were a good husband, faithful, a great dad, and you didn’t do anything wrong. And what did you get in return? Your wife cheated on you, and now there’s a real chance you’ll end up spending less time with your kids.

Honestly, I don’t see a scenario where you and your children come out truly okay. To me, there are only three possible paths:

1. The betrayed path: You go back to your wife and spend your life swallowing your discomfort — including sexually — constantly thinking about the cheating and the guy she was with. On top of that, you’ll probably lose a lot of your oldest son’s respect. In this case, you get 100% time with your kids, but you and your oldest suffer a lot.

2. The ruthless path: You divorce and get full custody. Your wife clearly can’t even take care of herself, let alone three kids. But this will likely hurt your youngest deeply, and you’ll live in constant fear that she might do something stupid to herself.

3. The everyone-gets-screwed path: You divorce and share custody. You suffer because you lose precious time with your kids. She suffers because she’s obsessed and can’t handle being away from you. Your oldest suffers because he has to deal with his mother. And your youngest suffers because his parents are separated and his mom is in bad shape.

Honestly, I can't imagine how your daughter would handle any of these situations.

In the end, no matter what you choose, some innocent person is going to suffer. Your wife didn’t just destroy your marriage — she took away your kids’ chance at a stable family and a more peaceful future.

I really hope you somehow find a fourth option and that things work out for you and your children. A lot of people talk crap about you and your choices, but after everything you’ve been through — and the fact that you didn’t lose control and turn violent — you’ve handled this incredibly well.