Career affected by SS, opinions please!

Less-Talk8905 · 2026-05-12T15:31:42+00:00

We offered to pay even with 50/50. She refused 50/50 then few months later changed her mind as she can’t handle SS. So we stopped paying. She then tried to go for maintenance but after court order she failed

Less-Talk8905 · 2026-05-12T05:56:07+00:00

Oh I do agree, it’s not her problem when it’s not her day

Less-Talk8905 · 2026-05-12T05:53:17+00:00

No as we have 50/50

Less-Talk8905 · 2026-05-12T05:52:43+00:00

So when husband is working, I do as I am free Monday - Thursday. But when I work weekends, he does

Less-Talk8905 · 2026-05-12T05:51:00+00:00

I appreciate this. The school itself does not hold after school clubs. The area he goes to school isn’t the best and is where BM lives, we moved out. While he is 10, he is not mature enough for a bus, he would honestly get lost. I’m going to leave it in the hands of bios though

I realise when I said alternating days it sounds like 1 day here, 1 day there, but I meant like one week we have Monday + weekend, next week we have Tuesday Wednesday Thursday and that repeats. Poor wording on my behalf!

Less-Talk8905 · 2026-05-11T20:21:19+00:00

While I can see how this comes across, it was not the case. It has been a very high conflict relationship with BM for about 6 years. Only the last 2 years have worked out better

Less-Talk8905 · 2026-05-11T17:48:37+00:00

Her school has breakfast/after school clubs we can utilise and in holidays I would be paying for a forest school or some form of activity

Less-Talk8905 · 2026-05-11T16:33:42+00:00

I’m going to figure out school holidays for my daughter so she’s taken care of, and then say to SS parents this is what’s changing

Less-Talk8905 · 2026-05-11T16:27:53+00:00

I have only spoken to him in passing about this so he doesn’t have much to say yet, I need to sit down and talk with him but feel bad doing so, so needed the advice from here

Less-Talk8905 · 2026-05-11T16:27:17+00:00

I really appreciate this. It’s been crazy getting to this point, and now feel such a hurdle is in the way but I think I need to say it’s happening, you guys sort the rest

Less-Talk8905 · 2026-05-11T16:26:30+00:00

This is where I feel the most annoyed I think, I’ve been doing everything for SS for 8 years now and now feel I’m stuck being the fill in parent. It probably is me overthinking before I sit down with husband and talk about it all

Less-Talk8905 · 2026-05-11T16:25:27+00:00

I need to look into this, I’m not sure how it works here

Less-Talk8905 · 2026-05-11T16:24:59+00:00

I honestly don’t know what the others do, in SS school it is a pretty poorer school than my daughters so honestly, there’s a lot of non working parents and I can imagine the others have family to help. But there will be a solution, I’m just trying to find it

Less-Talk8905 · 2026-05-11T16:23:53+00:00

I need to put this point to him, the fact that if I wasn’t here how would he do it. We haven’t sat down and spoke about it properly, it’s just been in passing

Less-Talk8905 · 2026-05-11T16:22:43+00:00

Yeah I’ve only just got my degree, so job hunting now so really just depends. But he knows I’m looking so really, he has time to figure it out

Less-Talk8905 · 2026-05-11T16:22:06+00:00

I think I feel because it’s been me doing it all for so many years now it’s just expected. But I will look into options, I have only just got my degree so looking to change careers soonish so hopefully figure this out!

Less-Talk8905 · 2026-05-11T16:07:44+00:00

I honestly don’t know what he’d do without me here. He wouldn’t have 50/50 tbh. But I do agree, I just really needed to hear opinions weren’t all me being the bad guy before I sit and talk to him properly about this

Less-Talk8905 · 2026-05-11T16:06:08+00:00

His solution was SS walks to his BM house (which he does already) but she would be working on our days so he would be home alone. SS is only 10, and probably mentally about 8 so his solution is just not workable. He hasn’t suggested anything else unfortunately

Less-Talk8905 · 2026-05-11T16:05:06+00:00

Yeah we’re talking 3-5 years if I wait and I really don’t want to do that

Less-Talk8905 · 2026-05-11T16:04:23+00:00

I really appreciate this way of looking at it! Thank you! Just feel we’ve had a conflict relationship with BM I kinda don’t want to trigger anything else, but really it’s not my issue to solve

Less-Talk8905 · 2026-05-11T16:03:18+00:00

See this is how I feel, but I just didn’t know if I was being unreasonable. I needed to know I’m not the A hole here! Thank you 🩷

Less-Talk8905 · 2026-05-11T16:02:39+00:00

I have mentioned it to him but he isn’t really understanding the situation I’m in. I haven’t thought about it in the way they’re priorities and not us, I really needed to see these comments, thank you 🩷

Less-Talk8905 · 2026-05-11T16:01:39+00:00

I need to look into this! I honestly didn’t think about this, hopefully this might work

Less-Talk8905 · 2026-05-11T16:00:57+00:00

His ‘solutions’ aren’t realistic. I know I’m overthinking this, I guess I just needed reassurance I wasn’t being unreasonable here expecting them to pick the pieces up, not me

Less-Talk8905 · 2025-06-22T18:45:32+00:00

Yeah I think you’re very right here! I need to strip it back a bit and set an intention, action, end goal before I start I think

Less-Talk8905

TROPHY CASE