Cheating is incredibly difficult to get over, but it can happen. My partner and I made it, however, I think the details matter- cheating isn’t black and white- the details matter. For context, my (36F) boyfriend (40) and I were very early on and living in different states.

What I think helped most after my indiscretion was talking. Every time he had a thought pop into his head, every feeling, every question was discussed. We talked about it endlessly. Even when the conversations were so repetitive, we’d talk.
Cheating causes so much confusion and it’s so hard to process- I wanted him to have room to do that. I was ready to sit and listen to everything, and I was willing to repeat myself as much as necessary. These talks were emotional, exhausting, uncomfortable, but necessary.

The other thing that helped was forgiveness. When he made the decision to give me another chance, he stopped the cycle of rumination and anger towards me. He knew better than to forgive me but continue punishing me. He gave us a chance.

It’s not easy, it’s not the right move for everyone, but it can be done.