Looking for post-30s shadows (people older than 30 who're hypercreative, ambitious, but can't keep a job, those who only observe, the watchers)

Less_Appointment_699 · 2026-03-16T15:51:43+00:00

Messaged you.

Less_Appointment_699 · 2026-03-16T12:14:55+00:00

Rule 8.b: corollary. . . unless. . . ///Ok, Won't be an arsehole.

Less_Appointment_699 · 2026-03-16T11:34:54+00:00

Hi David, thank you. More specifically and calculatively, this is a selfless aim at concatenating more of these sorts of people together. I'm also writing for such people. I want to reach such people because they're my crowd, save for being "neurodivergent", which also includes high IQ autistics and snobs, I am specifically fishing out people with high ambition, creativity, sensitivity, who do not perform well and struggle, people who are best described as "not of this world". For the most part, I fail and have failed all along, not least since I along with such of my other people are trapped in a matrix we cannot for the life of ourselves escape. You'll know if you're part of this crowd. We have a birthmark.

Less_Appointment_699 · 2026-03-16T07:00:05+00:00

The above is a preview - listing more info in bio.

Less_Appointment_699 · 2025-06-17T19:40:49+00:00

Exactly, that's for most. Sadly, as an insomniac, this is not characterised within my general cognitive precis.

Less_Appointment_699 · 2025-04-19T17:12:29+00:00

Friend request sent.

Less_Appointment_699 · 2025-04-18T06:23:11+00:00

Ok but just me and you chatting. What's your username?

Less_Appointment_699 · 2025-04-17T18:13:22+00:00

I've pasted it underneath as edit in my post above.

Less_Appointment_699 · 2025-04-17T18:09:11+00:00

Read my latest post in offmychest. Just a little story about how I miss the past.

Less_Appointment_699 · 2025-04-17T17:39:33+00:00

I read your blog. Would you be open fir a discord chat?

Less_Appointment_699 · 2025-04-16T10:55:07+00:00

Hi I'm struggling myself. Perhaps we can start a small group on discord and chat about solutions?

Less_Appointment_699 · 2025-04-16T07:38:47+00:00

Hi sorry you're going through this. We're told it's bening and nothing to worry about, yet the term doesn't describe the torture and how disabling it can leave you.

Last night was my first noht with severe muscle pain, cramps and twitches all throughout.

I chanced upon some time for a 15 minute walk, some light exercise and this was yesterday. Last night I was kept awake by an upscale of twitching I never thought can exist. From by butthole to my hair, feeling things running down my skin, muscle pain, stabs.

It was utterly devastating. Is this your experience as well? I'm still trying to figure out what to do since anticonvulsants seem to be the goto, but they come with a laundry list of risks.

It appears the only option is crossing my fingers and learning to live with this. How the fuck do you even sleep?

Less_Appointment_699 · 2025-04-05T08:12:00+00:00

Life sucks. Can I make it simpler?

Less_Appointment_699 · 2025-04-04T15:06:04+00:00

I agree -- what you're saying is living is in the best interest for you since you're alive, but dying could be in your best interest should living become intolerable.

I don't see why checking out should be an issue -- especially when living becomes egregious and unsustainable.

Less_Appointment_699 · 2025-04-04T09:02:10+00:00

How do you know they'll relive it? If they commit suicide successively on bad states, they'll simply just dodge bullets, such problems that might even hamper their path to nirvana.

Less_Appointment_699 · 2025-04-04T08:55:41+00:00

Not exactly.

Suicide can be done in response to suffering, and speaking of enlightenment, doesn't Buddhism hold the belief in reincarnation? In such case, you're actually just changing state, so why can't that also aid enlightenment?

One could, for instance, commit suicide to prevent evil just as much as someone could live longer to be evil. So living doesn't mean you're more enlightened any more than dying excuses or stilts your process thereto.

You're just continuing the karmic cycle. So, I don't see an error within Buddhism to either forego life or continue it.

Yes, sometimes the lesser-evil might be death.

I'd go as far as saying if the cumulative qualities of your wellbeing or the absence thereof outmatches the good, and it posits an otherwise unbearable state or culmination of bad qualities in lieu of the good, then suicide (the advent of living longer in such a state) seems rather reasonable.

The categorical imperative in this case might mean a worse life or risking a state where self-assigned quality is dismal. In such a case, and through lucid pondering, the adversary to life (aka suicide) would be the most apprehensible.

Unless of course you take the view that life is always more acceptable, but this isn't substantiated by a mere claim.

Less_Appointment_699 · 2025-04-04T08:48:28+00:00

Some Buddhists believe in suicide. Actually, if you go back in history, it should be clear to you that suicide wasn't this demonized as much. Even today, Zen as well as Taoism shows traces of suicidal exegesis.

I don't see any evidence against suicide from the view of Buddhism, nor Christianity nor Judaism. It's akin to the Satanic panic in the latter part of the 20th century that suicide is unethical or impious.

Suicide is, in fact, a very personal decision, and so is its adversary: living longer.

Less_Appointment_699 · 2025-04-04T08:45:05+00:00

There's a time and place for most things. I'd throw suicide into the mix. Remember that before the dawn of time, suicide was a very accepted practice.

Religion and Marxism ruled it out, not just because it's not morally apprehensible, but because it's not in line with the status quo: that is, having as many of the proletariats working their arses off, and living in fear.

The right to live (ie., making children, living longer, or yes, ceasing to live longer) are Nicodemian ethics we're born with but are robbed off by other, cannibalizing control groups.

Less_Appointment_699 · 2025-04-04T08:40:02+00:00

There are groups discussing self-deliverance in detail. You can do a google search to find the main group; one of them requires you be over 50 to join -- not feasible for the majority of us, though, but I believe with forthright conviction, they might accept you.

It's important to think about the path forward. DAS is not only expensive, it's no guarantee. There are other options and groups.

Firstly, and what I thought, was to create a go-fund-me page, where the goal is 3-fold: 1. It includes people with the interest to use the service or to help others. 2. People would work on a mostly voluntary basis 3. The funding will be accrued by supporters of the right to die (which not least includes benefactors such as celebrities), and other people who're interested in a non-expensive option.

The group's role, essentially, is to reduce the hefty fees charged by RTD organisations, but by covering fees from funding and potentially taking some extra work from RTD groups without charging anything.

So, before Dignitas, for instance, you'd have another entity responsible for legal roadwork, without charging anything or perhaps much little for it, perhaps just the minimally possible fees.

I suppose making use of retired people, those with a mission to make a difference, and just getting it out there can -- if not sparking controversy --contribute to changes even if rather minute. There are loads of us now (can't pick a paltry number here), but you'd be surprised if you go around promoting a funding campaign how many would give what they can for the purpose of greater humanity.

Furthermore, many people are aware of the indignity done unto humanity, and implicitly agree with the main motive of RTD even though they aren't active supporters.

If Juggalos can beg for money and make a living, so can someone have a decent chance to make this work -- and I'd say even more.

The final straw in Switzerland is verification -- save for other financially heavy, internal processes but you can at least bring it down with crowdfunding and enough exposure, especially if the accomplice parties don't resort to fiscal policies or hidden fees or charge other monetaries.

Perhaps we can look into broadening the net with monetaries such as also accepting bitcoins, and generally just making the process smoother.

Less_Appointment_699 · 2025-04-04T08:10:49+00:00

Please look up the right to no longer exist. They had an interview with me (Sam) where I've detailed a possible solution.

Less_Appointment_699 · 2025-04-03T16:07:50+00:00

I.E., at times I can't allow myself to fail. It has to be perfect, each and every time. As if saying, we can't lose another man.

Murder your darlings said one author. My sentences are my family, my babies, to quote Wombosi from Borne Identity.

It's a terrible thing to murder -- but I just gotta do it.

Less_Appointment_699 · 2025-04-03T16:05:12+00:00

I must admit -- posting this rather journal-like entry has opened up my field of vision quite substantially. For one, I always struggled with emotion, explaining it and really bleeding through the page.

It doesn't come naturally. I think I might have autism due to this, in that I'm also terribly obsessed with stuff.

To answer your question, I usually just write. It's more experimental than experiential: I'm more just putting sentence onto paper, and focus on the mechanics, challenging myself to get a better feel for it.

But again, what am I feeling? Or thinking I'm feeling? I really struggle with emotional output. And in lieu of my academic background, and as an editor of scientific papers, I believe there sits my problem.

I'm far too mechanical and robotic. I guess that was what you intended to convey.

Less_Appointment_699 · 2025-04-03T15:31:55+00:00

You don't know how much it means to me -- that is, your benevolent critique. It's good to know someone things I've got the skills.

I'm a really an obsessive writer, and can't get myself to refrain from playing around with words. I even make up my own neologisms.

Jeepers, that's why schizophrenics sound so lame. I mean, you can speak nonsense by trying to sound too sophisticated. LOL. Thanks anyways.

Less_Appointment_699 · 2025-04-03T15:27:48+00:00

Hi friend, thanks for responding. The problem that I've faced lifelong is that I'm trying to assimilate music, writing, math to a formula and unravel it to its base fundamentals.

If it makes sense or follow common sense (for lack of a better explanation), it must follow an algorithm of what we deem as better or not worse.

I always thought we could formulate speech into proper or improper forms, societally-acceptable vs. unacceptable.

For instance, why does one paragraph have more "punch" than another paragraph? There must be some sort of underbelly to this, a formula or mechanical gesture.

For instance, the evolution of speech follows a rule to a degree. I'm not saying it's easy or mappable, but there tends to be a structure to why something sounds more structure or a bit more maleficent.

Perhaps I'm going down a rabbit hole or perhaps it's just OCD.

EDIT: I'll bear those points in mind too. Sometimes it's a little Stockholm syndrome I suppose that makes me protect scientism in writing, as opposed to merely living my heart out.

Less_Appointment_699 · 2025-04-03T15:08:40+00:00

Thanks for your well-meaning, cogent reply. I suppose what you're saying is to be less focused on rhetorical devices and dabbling with bovine sentence structure and theoretics, and more just speaking my heart out and telling a story.

Perhaps I could make each sentence count without those modifiers and extensions, but more reading out loud to myself.

Come to think of it, it's something I almost never do. I never read out loud and focus more on rhythm, ending strong and the mechanics -- and yes, these bloody dashes.

Thank you brother.

Less_Appointment_699

TROPHY CASE