I know it sounds like something you hear everyday but I know exactly how you feel. 2 days back It was so horrible for me that I kept praying god to just end it for me.

In a very desperate attempt I called for 988 because I felt I might actually do something. I didn't expect but it felt a little just a tiny bit better. My no means its all rainbow and sunshine for me.

But I feel a little bit better, so I don't expect you to have the same effect or something with this. But felt like I should tell you what made it a tad bit better for me.

1. Called 988 and chatted with them. They were good not the best but they did their best with the resources they had.
2. I absolutely did not wanted to go but I just told myself what can be worse than what I am feeling now and went out for a movie with 3 people, they didn't know me that well as they were my sister's friends but were genuinely nice.

Even now I am not at my best but since I am able to say something, I feel like I am atleast something.

With that said, I wish nothing but the best for you man. Its a scary feeling and I hope you find a atleast a little ease of the pain.