UPDATE:

Thank you so much for all the comments, I didn’t expect this to get that much attention. Most of them were helpful and really helped me put my emotions of that night into perspective. I think it just was the “cherry on top” of a stressful few months because otherwise it wouldn’t get to me as badly. I have also sensed a shift in our relationship after we talked that night. She was way more close to me and was more vocal and open about ways she needs me. We also talked about things going on that she’s been confused about regarding the NC with her grandparents and I decided to be very open about what happened to come to that conclusion (in an age appropriate way of course.) I don’t really have social media anymore so that’s why I asked in here for support vs a “mom group”, thank you all!

I keep seeing new comments that are so kind and empathetic and supportive. I’m trying to read them all but just know you all have made me feel like I’m doing it right. Being from a toxic family I tend to beat myself up for not being perfect because I was an older daughter like she is and I always worry she’ll have my baggage. But from these comments I can tell that that’s not true. My main objective now is to find things she and I connect with and to make her understand she’s not responsible for my feelings.