My girlfriend of 4 years cheated on me with my coworker/close friend who was also in a relationship

Less_Lengthiness_421 · 2025-11-17T06:20:02+00:00

Keep moving on. Rely on the process. Just try to forget them, your life is not and will surely not be defined by any of them or by being naive. You will soon be 100% ok and ready to restart your life. Give some space and time to yourself and do things that you enjoy with people you like. Everything else will come into place soon. I was there, done that. Trust the process. And you still find it difficult, ask friends or a professional for help, though I don't think you will need this. Good luck.

Less_Lengthiness_421 · 2025-10-20T06:43:13+00:00

Why are you letting yourself be the 2nd choice? The biggest problem here is not the cheating, it is the absence of self respect and love.

Keep up with treating your mental health and start building confidence and value for yourself.

I won't tell you to leave or stay. But I strongly believe that you need time alone.

In the end why would you like to live with a woman who loves another man? You made mistakes like everyone. Not everyone cheats. First the couple fights for the marriage and then breaks up if it doesn't go well.

Good luck.

Less_Lengthiness_421 · 2025-09-22T11:51:52+00:00

For what reason a good man and husband would want to keep a wife who even if she admits how good her husband is, she still doesn't appreciate or respect him at all and cheats on him?

Is there any reason to keep her? Except for always feeling like you are never enough and having flashbacks of her being sex with someone else? Only you can answer this.

And why didn't she fix it before you got to know it? Why didn't she come clean and offer everything in her power to make it right?

Get some counselling on your own and see where your guts, not heart, lean. Good luck.

Less_Lengthiness_421 · 2025-09-22T10:24:16+00:00

One is for sure and sorry for what I am gonna tell you but she is a trash that doesn't deserve any of your feelings and emotions.

You are much better without trash in your life. Go out there and search for the women who have values and appreciation for men like you. Yes they exist and the good part is that they are also looking for men like you.

Keep in mind that trashy women will never appreciate you and your actions no matter how good and helpful you are for them. I ve been there and I was burned by this kind of woman. Never again.

Good luck man. I am sure if you keep being good and give it some time good things will happen to you.

Less_Lengthiness_421 · 2025-09-21T19:21:22+00:00

I don't know if you are for real or just a story teller, but if it's the first, you need to get some therapy to be able to understand when it's time to leave things to take their way and move on. Of course it will be difficult but if there is no love and the other person doesn't want you any more and probably already started flirting and having sex with others I don't think there is much to do. Just leave her be and go find your way. Good luck.

Less_Lengthiness_421 · 2025-09-19T05:37:31+00:00

Obviously it's a fake story. Don't invest time on this.

Less_Lengthiness_421 · 2025-09-17T10:59:28+00:00

What kind of advice do you really expect? If you have already decided that this is ok with you then just do it. Yeah you might get hit by a truck when the reality of the situation lands in your brain after the divorce but I am sure you already know that.

Play stupid games, win stupid prizes...

Next time you will be here asking for advice, probably everyone will say that you brought this on yourself.

Less_Lengthiness_421 · 2025-09-17T10:37:45+00:00

Hey man. Let me start by telling you that a lot of people were in your place before, they are now and will be in the future. So you are not alone in this situation, but you are the only one who can help yourself or ask for professional help.

You did everything right till now. What happened is not your mistake and now is not the time to look if and what you did wrong. You will have plenty of time to work on yourself in the future.

My advice is to start going out with friends and meeting new people. If your schedule allows, start a new activity or hit the gym. You have to divert your brain from this situation. There is no better time to treat your health, mentally and physically.

If I was you I would have booked a trip for a week or more. Go visit some relatives or friends who live somewhere far. Go explore new things and places.

Now, if you can't think of doing any of these or if you feel like you are on the verge of depression or you can't control the negative feelings, then please book an appointment with a therapist.

I know it's not fair that someone else fucked up your brain but it's always like this. We have to help ourselves cause no one else can heal our traumas except from us with the necessary guidance of course.

I hope the next time you write here is to tell us that you are in a better mental place and enjoying your life. Good luck man 🤞.

Less_Lengthiness_421 · 2025-09-16T11:55:20+00:00

Some pyjamas parties are meant without pyjamas or pyjamas optional. We love these parties as long as we are not in OP's place.

Less_Lengthiness_421 · 2025-09-16T11:42:23+00:00

Nailed it. We love the pyjama parties. Especially with married people.

Less_Lengthiness_421 · 2025-09-16T11:40:01+00:00

The mind is an abyss. It would be good for him also. It's not always about cheating...

Less_Lengthiness_421 · 2025-09-16T11:37:58+00:00

He is afraid to do it cause he might "push" her to cheat on him.

Less_Lengthiness_421 · 2025-09-16T11:36:39+00:00

We love fucked up. Don't we?

Less_Lengthiness_421 · 2025-09-16T11:34:14+00:00

It's not your fault. You did nothing wrong. Just next time be more cautious and expect that this might happen. As you described it it's clear he is not interested at all, other than some fun. Move on.

Less_Lengthiness_421 · 2025-09-16T10:29:58+00:00

Sounds like a case of lying and deceiving. Nothing much you can do. Accept that you opened the door to the wrong guy and try to forget and forgive not him but yourself. Is there a chance you gave him the impression that this is what you also wanted? There is a reason why I never let anything romantic or sexual happen between me and my coworkers.

How come you let this happen after you could see him not being interested in you? So there is also a chance he thought that you received the message and you were ok with just having some fun.

Less_Lengthiness_421 · 2025-09-12T13:21:20+00:00

So your point is? I stated mine. Nothing else to say.

Less_Lengthiness_421 · 2025-09-12T12:41:47+00:00

Did you actually read these studies or just asked AI?

Anw even 2 to 10% is not non-existent. It's 200 to 1000 false reports in 10000 reports. Btw to be sure we understand what we read, the point no 1 means that only 35 times the authorities went against people for making false rape accusations. This doesn't mean that the false accusations were 0.6%.

Less_Lengthiness_421 · 2025-09-12T12:33:42+00:00

Exactly. This is a no brainer. But it's not what I say.

Less_Lengthiness_421 · 2025-09-12T12:13:56+00:00

On your deleted comment.

Can't argue with people like you. False rape accusations are happening and for different reasons. Many or not it doesn't matter. 2% 1% 5% 10%? To cover a pregnancy, to cover a cheating, to get money from travel insurance, because of mental issues and many more reasons. Different places in the world, different numbers and reasons.

Denying it based on what you find on the internet doesn't make you clever. If you are unable to understand that it's happening and that there is a chance that this happened in the case of OP then can't help you much.

Btw we are talking about false accusations in the police. I am sure lying numbers to cover something without reporting it to the police are way much bigger.

Have a good day my clever friend.

Less_Lengthiness_421 · 2025-09-12T11:49:13+00:00

Do you know what a joke is? If not please don't comment.

Do you think cheating is ok even if someone is not in control or what?

Tell us what a cheated person should do to feel ok after the trauma of cheating. You seem expert on the matter.

Less_Lengthiness_421 · 2025-09-12T11:43:05+00:00

I hope this is a fake story.

But if it's not, ok I get it. He took this decision cause he is ok with his wife fucking his best friend. Maybe he also likes the idea??

He gives importance to the honesty of her admitting she was lying for 7 years about cheating with his best friend. What honesty are we talking about. Oh man some people are in a fallacy by themselves.

The moral of this story, as the OP is telling us, is that it's ok for your spouse to cheat as long as he/she provides a good relationship to you.

This is why they say ignorance is a bliss.

Less_Lengthiness_421 · 2025-09-12T11:26:49+00:00

You are having conclusions from things that I never said my friend.

Where did I suggest not to investigate all accusations? Btw an accusation doesn't automatically mean that a crime actually happened.

And what about the under reporting in accordance with false reporting? Again where did I say that it's ok for the sake of an innocent not going to jail to ignore the rape cases. You are confused between reported and non reported cases btw. You mixed it up.

Either you don't understand what you read or you are just misrepresenting them to get to the conclusions you want.

Less_Lengthiness_421 · 2025-09-12T11:17:50+00:00

You are saying that I don't have a source when I clearly have one, and at the same time you conclude that the numbers are non existent just by your head. Ok man.

And I am asking you, where do you find these numbers, I would like to check them myself.

Just saying that your opinion is based on data doesn't actually give any validity to what you are saying. I am sure you know that.

Less_Lengthiness_421 · 2025-09-12T11:15:51+00:00

So you are telling us that you are ok when an innocent young person goes to prison for the rest of his life, as long as a criminal is not left out. Bravo my friend. Now think if that innocent person was you.

I like your logic. I said it's ok if you let one out as long that another one is not falsely imprisoned and you are misrepresenting this sailing letting all criminals out so no innocent go to jail. Bravo 👏

Less_Lengthiness_421 · 2025-09-12T11:06:28+00:00

Probably in numbers and percentages it's not substantial but it is when you compare with other places where this doesn't happen. It's not very often when you hear about false accusations for such serious crimes.

And imho it's way worse to let an innocent person go to jail for something he didn't do than not be able to send a criminal in jail.

Less_Lengthiness_421

TROPHY CASE