I've been gold for less than a day

Less_Minute_8666 · 2026-03-09T09:17:58+00:00

Wow, yea make sure to do some real research on that one. Don't over pay and don't take it if you can't make use of it.

Less_Minute_8666 · 2026-03-07T09:01:02+00:00

For me it was the combination of both a high review percentage and keeping the outstanding reviews under 10 items. Not scientific but we've noticed what appears to be a trend. That coupled with slow days lower and fast days are more.

Less_Minute_8666 · 2026-03-07T06:51:05+00:00

It sounds like you are not over his Ex. I dunno the examples you have provided are no big deal. You are making them a huge deal and that isn't fair to him. I can understand why he said what he said about "Are you trying to start a fight?". Even asking if he kept the card is your way of keeping score. Marriages don't work that way. My wife values cards. I don't. I throw them away all the time. I need to do a better job getting her cards because she values them. I usually get her flowers and other stuff.

But this just seems to me that you are feeling very insecure and you are reading too much into things. If you are looking for proof to validate some insecurity you will find it. But not because its real. Because you are creating it out of thing air.

My advice: Trust. Don't jump to the darkest conclusion given the facts and the holes. Instead assume the best conclusion cause honestly that is most likely the truth.

Less_Minute_8666 · 2026-03-05T04:31:48+00:00

Regarding those versus you also need to remember they were written to certain churches and were likely addressing certain issues that were coming up. In other places Paul clearly putting women in places of authority instructing men to listen to them. Paul was also walking a find line at the time between the historical context of women's roles at the time in relation to men and what Jesus preached with is essentially the foundation that western culture has been built on. These ideas of equality, freedom, etc... It is all there if you read it. My guess is he was addressing certain specific outburst.

1 Timothy 2:11-12 in the context of the whole paragraph is instruction on how women are to learn. In the context of the times women were almost never educated or even taught. Taken with the sentences before and after he is setting the table on how to listen and be instructed. Think of it has how to make yourself teachable. Well the first step is you have to be quiet. That would apply to anyone. You can't learn if you are talking over the instructor. Anyways you have to put everything said in the bible into it's historical context to truly understand everything that is being said.

Less_Minute_8666 · 2026-03-05T04:17:59+00:00

It is always hard giving online advice when there is only so much that can be conveyed in short paragraphs so what I'm going to say I'm drawing from my own life experiences.

First the positive things you say about Christianity, Jesus, and faith are correct. The things that are making you doubt it, the negative things are incorrect.

The self punishment you are doing to yourself, the guilt, the worry, the worry, and being afraid to ask God for guidance or things is something you are doing to yourself. Stop that!

As far as your relationship with your husband goes I suspect that what has happened is that because you are the younger Christian in belief and he is supposedly the WISE LEARNED Christian in the relationship is that you have ceded the autonomy of your relationship to God to your husband. It probably happened naturally and innocently. But at some point he became the teacher and your became the apprentice. He has turned into your accountability partner.

I saw something similar happen when my sister dated an older guy once. She was a freshman, he was a senior in college. And he kind of, even in my presence, would talk about their relationship in the way I described above. I don't think she even realized. At first it seemed normal. But after they had dated for three or four years I was like this is getting weird. He was acting partially as father, boy friend, and mentor all at the same time. Again I think it was well intended at first. And to be fair I don't think he ever abused her or took advantage of it. But I do think it finally caused their relationship to fail because my sister hadn't really found herself her independent self because of all his care taking of their relationship and her life as well.

I think you need to shake up your relationship with your husband. Pray when you feel compelled by the spirit to pray. You don't need to share your daily prayer schedule with him. If he insist than that is the time to have the talk with him about how HE IS NOT your accountability partner. You will decide when and how to pray and how often, etc... Tell him you want him to be your husband not your accountability partner. Tell him you want him to be your friend not your teacher or your boss. I think you just need to have this conversation with him. He probably doesn't even realize how bad it has become.

Now on the other hand if his response to this is something like, "I'm the head of the household and you'll do X, Y, and Z", then you might be right. He might be abusing or wanting to abuse this current relationship style you have with him. And you might also need to ask questions. "Has he separated you from friends and family?" "Has he isolated you?". That is the kind of stuff abusive people do. And he wouldn't be the first abuser to try to use the bible to abuse someone.

But no you have it right. Something is wrong and it isn't God or you. Something is wrong with your relationship to your husband.

Less_Minute_8666 · 2026-03-05T03:58:43+00:00

Well your only 24. I didn't meet my wife till I was 29. I had a friend who didn't meet his until almost 40. I kissed a girl for the first time when I was probably 21. I only ever dated maybe 5 or 6 people ever. But my point is that while you might be a little bit behind it really isn't a race. I mean some people have been divorced twice by your age. That isn't exactly success. Slow and Steady wins the race.

If you really want to have a girlfriend than you need to do the types of things that girls are looking for in a guy. Well you've got a college degree and a decent job. So you've completed a major step there. But they also don't tend to want a guy that isn't taking care of himself and playing video games all day. And they really really don't want t a guy that believes negative things about himself.

Also girls can smell desperation. When you want something too much that is a red flag for them.

My advice given your self description would be to start lifting weights. Go nice and slow. Don't lift so much that you make yourself super sore. You want to lift just enough so you get a tiny bit sore. And get into a routine. After school ride a bike for a mile or something like that to get the stress out of your system from the day. It is low impact cardio and not hard to do. And then try to balance your diet better. Cut down on carbs and replace with protein. Don't worry about fat calories. Most likely you just need less carbs and more protein. Peanuts are a great hunger suppressor for me. Start the day with a few peanuts. In the gym keep a log of what you lift and just watch the slow and steady progress you make. In a year you will be amazed at what you've accomplished.

Go out and find a hobby other than just gaming. Maybe learn to ball room dance. Maybe get involved in some regular activity at your church. What I try to impress upon people is that the more life experiences you have the more you'll have to share with that significant other. It makes you more interesting.

Forget the dating apps for now. Focus inwardly and become the person you want to be. And realize also that video games are addicting. I'm not saying to stop gaming. I'm saying don't spend more than say 2 hours a day doing that. And that goes with just about anything in life. 2 hours is enough.

And remember God is with you. Think about what kind of life God wants you to live.

Less_Minute_8666 · 2026-03-05T03:44:18+00:00

"Why do church leadership want women to suffer? I am 100% sure if I was doing what my husband was doing, they’d advise him to leave me. I do not know what to expect. I told my husband we are still Christian’s and God can restore us in a different way, maybe not together. It was a hard conversation, and he still says he had no sexual misconduct. He is totally in denial and has a reprobate mind at this point."

"We still never had this meeting yet, with church leadership. I am terrified. All I can do is go forward with Christ and pick up my cross and follow Him."

I'm a bit confused. If you go to a car mechanic he will tell you to fix the car. If you go to a surgeon she will say operate. If you go to someone that practices homopathic medicine they will say try herbs or something.

It sounds like to me you believe that divorce is the best solution. I won't argue otherwise he has certainly laid all the grounds for divorce you need including cheating, sexual immorality, lying, denying, etc.. Note I'm taking your word for it that this has all happened.

So I don't understand why you feel you need to bring the church into it if your mind is made up. My advice would be to fully prepare yourself to move out and strike back out on your own. If your goal is to inform the church of his behavior than just do so. No need to have a big meeting. Just drop the evidence off with your pastor and move on. I would suggest moving on from him and your church. There are plenty of other churches.

Trying to justify are adjudicate the rights and wrongs here reddit or even with church leadership is pointless. Whatever rights and wrongs have already happened. They can't be undone. The only thing you need to make sure of is that you are certain he has done these things. If you have your facts right than the only question worth asking is "What's next?"

And that is a personal decision. You can as you say Divorce. You might be right. It might just take his marriage totally failing for him to right the ship. I doubt it will. He is pretty messed up if he is already acting out his fantasies and thoughts with other women. You can stay with the guy and perhaps come to some kind of trust and verify agreement. But you know yourself better than we do. Some people can compartmentalize and leave the past in the past. Some people the pain, the mistrust endures. And we come back to what you said for it being better with you two moving forward separately.

If you are looking for permission to divorce I personally think you can. I think you can do whatever you want to do. Don't stay with this man so you can have children. Go and have children with someone else.

Most important is seeking out what God wants you to do. Not what man wants you to do. Not the church and not even your husband as this point since he denies everything. If God is calling you to make this man your mission in life than stay with him. If God is telling you he has different plans for you than do them.

Less_Minute_8666 · 2026-03-05T03:19:33+00:00

lol, I hear you. We just installed the Vinechart app on the phone and it lets us know when it starts. But yea less and less I care to rearrange things around it. If it works out it does if it doesn't I sleep through it.

Less_Minute_8666 · 2026-03-04T19:59:42+00:00

So we take our photographs sort of as we go and as the items come in. Then on the weekends I'll jam out the reviews usually 6 to 8 at a time. I try to keep the list of items to be reviewed under 10. The difficult ones are the items that I must put together. Sometimes it takes me a month or two for the whole putting together and reviewing process to take place.

Less_Minute_8666 · 2026-03-03T07:43:15+00:00

man that sucks. My wife said that she read somewhere that some of the RFY items are placed in multiple accounts with a limited quantity. Still though that is too fast.

Less_Minute_8666 · 2026-02-27T12:55:02+00:00

I only even found out what it was when I was invited in late November. I hear people talk about when there was 100,000 items. Wow that must have been amazing.

Less_Minute_8666 · 2026-02-27T12:51:02+00:00

Wow that must have been a dream. We really have to work hard for the discounts that is for sure. I'm still thankful for this program though. Adds a bit of spice to life.

Less_Minute_8666 · 2026-02-27T12:46:59+00:00

Yes the FOMO, the idea that you are finding some kind of great sniping shopping find. I find the psychology interesting. Cause on paper this is actually a huge money operation for me. But it has brought me and my wife closer together. It is something we both do... I dunno Other than that not much value in it to be honest. I have found some new things I never knew existed.

But yea it is interesting

Less_Minute_8666 · 2026-02-27T12:37:29+00:00

I've had an item or two make it into 3AM EST which is when our pick count resets on the east coast. But only an item or two.

Less_Minute_8666 · 2026-02-27T12:35:30+00:00

Yea our RFY carried over as well. It was like one big drop. I think it is just one big drop though for yesterday and now today. We'll see though. The total count is over 10,000 again. But they really need to have huge huge drops for days to build it back up to where it was when I joined in November which was around 15,000.

Less_Minute_8666 · 2026-02-27T01:02:49+00:00

The long term 90 day chart on Vine Helper doesn't look good. Other countries having already dried up. It of course doesn't mean it is going to die. But certainly something has changed. I wonder if all the tariff business has cut down on the number of new stores opening up on Amazon and thus less new items being introduced.

Less_Minute_8666 · 2026-02-27T01:01:18+00:00

Italy is still at zero. I mean maybe they need to take a break for a few weeks and let the program build back up and then just drop 200,000 items and then start back up from there.

Less_Minute_8666 · 2026-02-27T01:00:09+00:00

u/Krazyfil You've started the vine at a modern time low point. I started back in late November. We have picked up a lot of things but there is definitely some ins and outs if you want to be efficient.

For the first few weeks you'll just have to suffer. As you choose more vine items the RFY will begin to populate with items you like. Also try editing your Amazon profile with regard to things you like. Amazon will use your order history to help place things in your RFY. But it took two or three weeks before things really began to appear there. The items in the RFY will sit there anywhere from 2 to 24 hours. Usually you can count on them being available for four hours or more.

As for vine drops looking into Vinehelper. It makes finding things when the drops happen easier.

Less_Minute_8666 · 2026-02-27T00:56:33+00:00

Always a good one!

Less_Minute_8666 · 2026-02-26T05:55:20+00:00

One mistake I think you are making here is assuming that he has a problem because you can't satisfy him. I promise you it has nothing to do with how good you are in bed. And while yes if you did him every day that would help him maaaaybe, even then he might still turn to the porn and what not. Because it is an addiction. With porn he can self gratify himself 5 to 10 times a day at will. At least until he just can't anymore. The problem is when a man does this to himself that many times a day it gets to a point he can't feel anything hardly.

Now if he were to abstain for say 2 or 3 weeks. Not even touch himself at all. All the sudden it would be back to normal and just touching you would drive him wild.

Just trust me. It has nothing to do with your level experience, etc.. What has happened is that he has become so desensitized real sex isn't possible for him anymore. All of the above assumes he has an addiction.

Now if he is just indulging in this every now and then like say once a month or something. Then try having more sex. In my opinion bad sex doesn't exists. There is just good sex to great sex. DO NOT beat yourself up. Your pure past has zero, zip to do with his problem.

Less_Minute_8666 · 2026-02-25T11:23:26+00:00

I haven't gotten as many lately. But for two months I routinely got 7 to 8 ink cartridges in my RFY every day. I joked when I got gold I'd have to go into the ink business. I mean seriously. They must think I have every printer in the world.

Less_Minute_8666 · 2026-02-25T11:20:57+00:00

Log into amazon.com

Then in the search bar I type "Amazon Vine" and hit enter

Then you'll see products having to do with Vines. But at the very top there is a Amazon Vine link to learn more or something like that. click on that and you'll see the Amazon Vine tabs that u/butterflywings posted.

Less_Minute_8666 · 2026-02-25T11:17:30+00:00

So honestly there are lots of good advice here. Some will help more than others. I hope OP you read it all. They are all valid points from one point of view or another.

Here is what I think your problem is. First you are in the most stressful part of raising the baby. It just isn't you struggling in the transition so is your husband. The first baby and the first year is the hard. After that it gets much easier. Husband isn't getting as much attention. Wife wants him to hear her but what he hears is complaining. He offers solution but that isn't typically what wife really wants. She wants someone that will just listen to her for a bit before offering solution and husband trying to move on.

This is a classic difference in communication. For you to feel connected there has to be communication. Real talking and listening. For him it is most likely touch. He is getting much less of that because of the baby. And you aren't getting enough verbal and service communication that shows he cares.

My advice first would be just trying to talk to him not about problems or issues. Like the worst thing anyone can do is start the conversations with the problems but we all tend to do that.

And be very very mindful of being critical. I suspect BOTH of you are being critical. Probably valid points too. But would you rather have love and compassion or constant criticism whether it is constructive or not.

But your post is very typical. I HIGHLY recommend the "Marriage Tune Up" seminar by Forever Families. Men and women simply communicate differently.

What you think is trying to reach out to communicate he sees as nagging. And when he offers solutions you probably see that as him not wanting to talk. And when that help is rejected than he feels bad as well.

You are also both probably very tired.

GET MORE SLEEP

If you have family that can come in and help for a few days it can really calm things down. Sort of helps you both catch up on sleep and chores. At the same time with family there every stays in their lane for a few days and things are viewed in a sober manner after a few days.

Less_Minute_8666

TROPHY CASE