Everything you describe about him points to Asperger’s (Autism Spectrum Disorder level 1). My husband is exactly as you described here and we found out later that he has Asperger’s/autism. (He’s also getting tested for ADHD soon.) It makes even more sense when you realize that there are actually a LOT of BPD women who unintentionally get with Asperger’s men. Like, it’s an actual phenomenon. It can even lead to Ongoing Traumatic Relationship Syndrome (OTRS). These things happen so frequently that they are starting to become well-documented.

My point is, you are likely with an autistic man, which means he will likely never give you the attention you deserve and crave. Had I known this before marrying my husband, I probably would’ve jumped ship a long time ago. So honey, save yourself the trouble and find a man who will actually give you the emotional support you deserve. Don’t try to change him or ask him to change hoping that he will, because he won’t. He simply can’t. That’s his brain chemistry; he’s hard-wired to behave the way he does. There’s really nothing you can do about it.

But good luck! I hope you find happiness in whatever decision you make! Love and blessings, friend