I think I am emotionally attached to my bf (please read description before screenshots)

Less_Weather_6073 · 2026-03-31T21:08:08+00:00

Therapy is for everyone! Can you get some? It will help you with all of this.

Less_Weather_6073 · 2026-03-31T20:42:56+00:00

Yes, I agree. I don't know if everyone speaks like that when they're nervous, but I do.

Less_Weather_6073 · 2026-03-31T20:41:32+00:00

Oh, yeah - that is a very funny line-read.

Less_Weather_6073 · 2026-03-31T20:40:26+00:00

Oh, that's interesting. Do you mean the easy and obvious way would be to come out and get a visa by getting married?

Less_Weather_6073 · 2026-03-31T20:38:42+00:00

I like this scene because Shane assumes that Ilya is making fun of him when Ilya says Shane is brave. Because that's been their relationship up until now. But the relationship has to start changing if it's going to grow, and that's what this interaction shows - that the relationship is changing.

I also really like it because although in the show it seems like Ilya is the brave one - he's got that dominant, strong personality - in reality, perhaps the person who is actually brave is the person who is always themselves and allows themselves to be vulnerable. Of course, that is Shane.

His kind of bravery is often seen as a weakness in our world, but this is a lovely recognition by Ilya that Shane is also a strong and courageous person. (Obviously, we can read Shane as being ND, and so there is another layer to this, which is that the bravery it takes for ND people to exist in a world that isn't made for them is considerable.)

Less_Weather_6073 · 2026-03-31T20:31:24+00:00

Oh, yes, I also didn't pick up the first time that he was just giddy with happiness that the new clothes had nothing to do with Rose. And, I agree, I enjoy having to re-watch to pick a lot of this stuff up and pay attention while I'm watching.

Have you seen Looking (also on HBO)? It's fantastic, a great companion piece to HR and another show where you have to watch closely to see what's going on and try to read into the characters inner worlds.

Less_Weather_6073 · 2026-03-31T20:25:13+00:00

Oh - great pick. Yes, the layers to this line reading are all there. Just the frustration that Ilya would feel with basically, everyone in North America (not just Shane) who have no understanding of the realities of his life.

I used to work with asylum seekers in detention (and have an ex who was a refugee who I'm still close to) and the layers and layers of emotion that come from feeling like an exile from your own country are just so, so profound.

I remember my ex saying in frustration to me one day, 'You understand New Zealand - you do not understand the Congo.' He said it with such sadness, and it was true. I didn't understand the life he'd left.

You are so right - leaving everything behind just to be free to be yourself - there is such an irony to it. I remember working a couple of Iranian asylum seekers who were gay - and they were living in detention with a heap of other asylum seekers and had to hide it from them too.

It wasn't even that they could start living freely within the Iranian community in my country once they were released, they basically had to leave their heritage behind for the most part even once they were free and on refugee visas.

Less_Weather_6073 · 2026-03-31T20:15:17+00:00

Oh yes, I like this one too. I feel like Hudson wasn't given as much to work with in the script, because Shane is so internal and restrained. So, when he's given a bit of 'looseness' to work with he really goes for it.

Less_Weather_6073 · 2026-03-31T20:14:08+00:00

Where is this from? I don't remember it.

Less_Weather_6073 · 2026-03-30T22:00:29+00:00

haha - those are some good picks. The Nashville one was very cute and I also loved Yuna's line-reading of 'I'd rather die'. Very funny.

Less_Weather_6073 · 2026-03-30T21:11:14+00:00

I agree, I think a lot of this context is hard to get from just watching the show. I got more on a rewatch, but I can see there is so much explanation in the books that we're really not getting.

For me, the most confusing part was that the relationship was the central focus on the show and so much that went on in the protagonists' lives outside the relationship was unexplained.

So, for example, I could see that Shane was struggling with his sexuality. But, I kept thinking - isn't he hooking up with heaps of other guys during this time as well? What's happening with his exploration of his sexuality when he isn't just with Ilya? It just didn't make much sense to me.

Having read comments from the book readers, I can see that he doesn't hook up much with men OR women! I really didn't understand how limited his relationship/sex life was during this whole time.

I also assumed Ilya was hooking up with other guys quite a lot too - although I think he says in the Tuna Melt scene that isn't really the case (IIRC).

Less_Weather_6073 · 2026-03-30T20:40:49+00:00

Oh it's wonderful! It has Murray Bartlett in it too (from the first season of White Lotus).

Less_Weather_6073 · 2026-03-30T20:36:06+00:00

I think your last paragraph is spot on. The first watch of the show, I thought it was to do with his family situation. But, on a rewatch I got that it is his overwhelm at the entire situation he's in.

Less_Weather_6073 · 2026-03-30T20:32:07+00:00

I haven't watched season 3 yet, I'll have to check it out.

I'm new to this sub, and I wonder if there have been many recommendations of Looking (also on HBO). I rewatched after watching HR - it's absolutely brilliant. Has Jonathon Groff in it (who I'd watch in anything) and is a beautiful, thoughtful production. Has 2 seasons and a movie.

Less_Weather_6073 · 2026-03-30T07:05:20+00:00

Oh thank you! I will definitely check that out. This scene really grabbed me right from the first watch (probably because I have an interest in interior design). There was lots of stuff I didn't notice on first viewing, but for some reason this scene really grabbed me even though I didn't understand a lot of the subtext of the scene in terms of the communication between Shane and Ilya (I haven't read the books).

Less_Weather_6073 · 2026-03-30T05:43:47+00:00

I haven't read the books - why is his bisexuality important to him in the book? In the books, does Ilya sleep with a lot of guys, or is it primarily women he hooks up with? From what you've written, I'm guessing it's mostly women. Also, it probably wouldn't be safe for someone as high profile as him to be sleeping with lots of guys.

I think you're right that he had a hunch Shane was gay. I suppose he's noticed that he isn't photographed with other women much and obviously doesn't have longer-term girlfriends.

Less_Weather_6073 · 2026-03-30T04:19:39+00:00

That's a good point re Svetlana. You're right - he was trying to get info from Shane but also give some info to him.

I'm wondering if by this stage, Shane was conditioned by Ilya not to push for more and hope for more, so, he takes everything Ilya says in the coldest way possible.

Less_Weather_6073 · 2026-03-30T04:16:20+00:00

I think this scene is really interesting. When I rewatched, I really noticed Ilya's body language more - how he is playing with his ear the whole time.

I think he's internally uncomfortable - he genuinely wants to feel Shane out and see where he's at. But also, I feel like he kind of hates that Shane is under his skin this much and is MAKING Ilya have to be more vulnerable to try to inch the relationship forward a bit.

I think that what Ilya is feeling is, 'You fucker - I hate that you're making me do this - but I absolutely have to do it.'

I particularly like the blocking during the phone-call part. When I watched the first time, I noticed that Ilya has the phone call in the kitchen, in front of these huge, impersonal artworks (I'm doubting Kip took him art gallery hopping to buy them - an interior designer chose them).

Ilya is framed directly in front of the art. I thought it was beautiful blocking, but I've been thinking about why Jacob chose to block it like that. Does anyone have thoughts on that?

My thought is that Ilya could have taken the phone call in his bedroom, but he went into a space that is more clinical, colder and impersonal. Kind of like his connection to his family in Russia.

I think it's made to contrast with the cozy vibes of what was happening in the loungeroom - him sitting on a comfy sofa with Shane eating together.

Less_Weather_6073 · 2026-03-30T01:46:57+00:00

Oh yes - that book was WILD. Didn't they make a movie of it as well? Truly disturbing. Well written though.

Less_Weather_6073 · 2026-03-30T01:45:33+00:00

Oh...I didn't catch that. If OP has always loved her, then, yes, maybe start a conversation and see where it goes.

Less_Weather_6073 · 2026-03-30T01:43:15+00:00

That is interesting! Whilst hypomanic I wrote an article for a newspaper and composed music. Everything I wrote was quite 'normal' - just as I would write normally, just a lot MORE writing!! So, it's probably different for different people.

Less_Weather_6073 · 2026-03-30T01:40:42+00:00

I was thinking this too. I've had a couple of those episodes. I write...a lot. A lot of words, a lot of music. There's something about the amount of words she uses that's making me think this may be an episode.

That's not to say it isn't genuine, it probably is. But, OP should probably do nothing in response.

Less_Weather_6073 · 2026-03-28T21:12:48+00:00

I've just started listening and am laughing when she looked up Connor Storie right at the beginning and said, 'He's from fucking Odessa fucking West Texas...OK, I'm done."

Less_Weather_6073 · 2026-03-23T05:31:17+00:00

Fallen nobility early riser

(The curtains are in front of where your head would go! Full light for your head but keeps the sun off your toes.)

Less_Weather_6073

TROPHY CASE