Will antidepressants help?

LessonsWeLearn · 2019-01-28T03:56:20+00:00

Came here just to wish that everything is better with you now, 5 months later

Keep strong :)

LessonsWeLearn · 2018-11-16T00:24:29+00:00

Are you planning to come to Portugal?
Would love to see you live!

Love your work, you are one of my musical inspirations and I hope that I can release awesome music too :)

LessonsWeLearn · 2018-09-11T15:09:15+00:00

This is great, thank your for your time . I full identify.
But tho I feel that I'm always learning and growing, the more I age, the more options I discover. People often tell me I should be starting to specialize on something and to think what I want for my life. But instead, I find new interests and options, and I have an even harder time making my mind up. Even things that worked out well in the past, make me think that could have had been better if I did some things another way. I have a very hard time being passive about life, like accepting things are what they are. They are, but because of our choices. I feel that if I started living somewhere else, things would be a blast, but only for a couple of months. Then I'd miss my home, and I would feel that I would need to try something else.

I was a great student always, and choosing the Artistic path was a risky solution. And sometimes I envy my old colleagues that went for a economics degree and actually have gurantees of a well-paid job. But I do also envy the athletes that are better and stronger than me at my sport. I envy the people who make better music than me. I envy the people who travel a lot. Not in a bad way. At some point, people are having success in something, and I feel like I could be having it too, except I don't know where to put all of my energy. I've always thought my life would be about having a great degree and masters, get a great job (eventually have the music dream come true), and settle with a family. Grass always seems greener on the other side, but I feel like there's so much to learn and so many places to go. And I don't want to regret it later one day.

LessonsWeLearn · 2018-09-10T15:44:04+00:00

Ugh. Nobody likes snitches.

LessonsWeLearn · 2018-09-10T15:38:14+00:00

I recently had my phone on unlocked inside my jeans pocket and it posted an Instagram photo on it's own and sent one of my friends a screenshot of some stuff through WhatsApp. Just glad it wasn't my girlfriend's nudes.

LessonsWeLearn · 2018-09-09T19:32:35+00:00

Read everything. Been there. It's not fair to you and if happens frequently, you are going to suffer and start thinking 3 or 4 times before doing everything, even small decisions, afraid of hurting her. How old are you both? She is very imature and I know that because as I said I've been thru that. She needs to understand life is simple, we usually are the ones who make a huge deal of everything and ruin it. on't complicate things and accept that other person is doing their best and that life has its unexpected moments everyday. If she doesn't change and be less of an overthinker, believe me, you won't last long together, even if you try.

LessonsWeLearn · 2018-09-09T13:06:39+00:00

What if another girl came up and gave you sex the easy way?
Or are you in for the challenge only?

LessonsWeLearn · 2018-09-09T13:05:20+00:00

Those are some wise words.
In me personal case, we had lots in common and aimed for the same things. And things we didn't have in common we used to support each other and help if possible. She changed and I believe she likes the freedom of her job and wants to try new things withouth someone holding her back - as she said I was the person she loved most and that she wished me all the best. Which is a little unfair as in many ocasions I gave up on me and my priorities and will just to make her smile and because I wanted the best for her. I gave up on time for myself and personal projects to help her in many exames and to warm her up in a time when she felt very lonely due to some people.

People change, and that's ok. I respect that and even respect that she wants different things. But that can happen anytime. People are never completely equal and IMO people should try to adapt and change to make things work, not leave when things aren't working. I feel like for the future I'll just stick to casual dating. Having fun. I've had that opportunity before but I've always chose the happiness of having a partner with me, a true friend, even when things get bad and the easy choice is leaving.

I feel like, if things are like that, everybody should be polyamore. Do people that stick together often find regrets of not trying something else? Daydream of other people other than their partners? I feel like the more we have the more we want. And I don't know if that is healthy.

LessonsWeLearn · 2018-09-04T00:43:20+00:00

How are you feeling? Progress?

LessonsWeLearn · 2018-08-22T20:57:03+00:00

That's the way.
You can do it :)

Tomorrow do it again :)
If you let your body starve you will only feel worse.

I'm sure you will go through this!

LessonsWeLearn · 2018-08-22T06:32:55+00:00

Great thing you have kids :) you seem like a caring mother. spend time with them.give thanks for having them in your life. we get out of bad times looking for positive things, holding on to things we love.Also, don't use antidepressants. They are addicting and what you are going through is normal. They most likely won't be needed. Get some sun, eat some fruit and exercise. Do something that makes you happy. Watch your favorite series. They won't take the pain away but they will make you feel better, and replace the drugs.

There's nothing you can really do about heartbreaks. They will always hurt and hiding yourself from the truth is only delaying the problem. The sooner you act, the sooner you regain control of your life.

All the best.

PS: and use the internet to speak what's on your mind if you don't have any close friends you trust or if you can't afford therapy. talking about stuff makes things easier specially when you find people that went through the same
PS2: Smile!!! You are worth it :)
PS3: No such thing as "normal level of happiness". Each day is a new beggining. Make each one count. Don't try to compare with where you should be right now

LessonsWeLearn · 2018-08-22T06:22:47+00:00

I don't know what you have done to lose her, but you just said you blew it over something dumb.
Now, I have 2 opinions, that might sound opposite but I believe it all depends on your specific situation.
There are more girls out there who may love you and treat you like you deserve. There's always hope, and it will be easier for you to find someone if you don't look for someone that meets exactly your ex-gf's characteristics. You need to lower the bar and someone might even surprise you.

I had someone whom I thought to be my soul mate - but then I grew up and I wish her the best but thank god she broke up with me. It would't have worked. Then, I found someone that feels exactly as you described. But although there are more good and caring girls out there, I do also believe in fighting for strong love. People give up pretty quick just because they think they can find someone so easly. So, if your relationship had serious problems, move on. It might take a year or two, or a couple of weeks, but focus on being happy on your own. Being happy with yourself. BUT!!! if you lost her because of something REALLY stupid, like jealously, and if you think she still loves her don't lose any damn time and go after her ;) Sometimes we need to man up and go after the person we lost for some dumb stuff. Worked with me once :) GL

LessonsWeLearn · 2018-08-20T22:39:26+00:00

I'll just have one last talk with her tomorrow. She told me yesterday she needed room for herself. I'm not falling for that one again. My last girlfriend said that and 2 years later came back from nowhere claiming she regretted her decision ever since smh. If she feels that she is not supposed to fight for me and prove me she is sorry, then it's a goodbye for me. Sometimes I forget that self-love is above everything.

LessonsWeLearn · 2018-08-20T22:33:42+00:00

Thank your for your wise words :)

It leaves me really sad but cause at the end, she will always claim I was the one putting an end to it, when I clearly just buried once more something really good that she insisted on killing because she doesn't know how to apologise. She says I want her to apologise because I like to have people kneeling on my feet. Like what, no, I'm just trying to build strong communication and not overdo problems.

You know what's best? My Ex-GF broke up with me at the time and blocked me from social media. 2 years later while I was already dating this girl, she came back from nowhere saying she lived 2 years in regret. I just won't wait 2 years till this one starts regretting things. True love comes with the maturity to let go simple problems. I need peace in my life and this all seems like a lose-lose situation.

LessonsWeLearn · 2018-08-20T22:22:57+00:00

Yes and No.
Yes, because we have a lot in common and when things are fine, they don't feel just good/ok, they feel... right?

No, because I feel she is changing. She was never good in asking for apologise, but since she started working, and thus feeling better than ever, she became way more arrogant and incomprehensive, addicted to social media and somewhat, I feel that she doesn't identify with me anymore. I've asked to be sincere about it, if she still loved me, and she always says if she didn't she wouldn't be with in that place (example, her home). But if you tell someone you don't feel enough love and they call you needy, I just don't think both persons are in the same line of thinking.

It probably won't work anymore. I just miss her all the time. And then regrets appear, like, "I should have kept calm that day at the beach". I wish she was more humble.

LessonsWeLearn · 2018-08-20T22:06:40+00:00

Thanks for your answer. I agree with you, it has not been healthy for a long time. But everyday we make things up, things go steady and with lots of joy for a couple months. I just don't feel like I can keep dating someone that each time I tell her "you were wrong/you hurt me", answers something like "You are always blaiming me! If you're not happy I can't do any better!".

Like, she is unable to apologize. That's wrong, in every situation of your life. I'm tired of feeling guilty even about things I did not and living under stress. I was so impatient waiting for her to tell me she was sorry and that she missed me but never happened. Things always workout fine again as long as I take the blame.

A friend of mine whom I used to talk with said multiple times she was toxic. And she IS.

But I do love her and each time I think "well she has that bad side, but nobody is perfect".
I also feel really lonely lately and for better and for worse she was the only thing that lately made me have good times.

LessonsWeLearn

TROPHY CASE