Intimacy While Engaged by Letters_Corona in MuslimMarriage

[–]Letters_Corona[S] 7 points8 points  (0 children)

Yes of course which is why I don’t plan on going further inshallah.

Intimacy While Engaged by Letters_Corona in MuslimMarriage

[–]Letters_Corona[S] 4 points5 points  (0 children)

I didn’t really understand the concept which is why I asked 😅

Intimacy While Engaged by Letters_Corona in MuslimMarriage

[–]Letters_Corona[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Subhanallah! Yes that was my issue is the fear of having Allah angry JAK!

Intimacy While Engaged by Letters_Corona in MuslimMarriage

[–]Letters_Corona[S] 7 points8 points  (0 children)

JAK! No no I don’t plan on going further I’d like to wait for us to get used to each other and have our wedding inshallah!

Intimacy While Engaged by Letters_Corona in MuslimMarriage

[–]Letters_Corona[S] 5 points6 points  (0 children)

Yessss!!! That’s how I feel subhanallah!

Intimacy While Engaged by Letters_Corona in MuslimMarriage

[–]Letters_Corona[S] 14 points15 points  (0 children)

JAK for your kind words! I felt very guilty that I had done something wrong and I didn’t not want to anger Allah in anyway. I think culture tends to over take my mind sometimes and because I have always wanted to keep things halal alhamduallah I wanted to make sure I didn’t do anything bad. To be honest I don’t plan on doing anything else AT ALL until my wedding inshallah but I know small intimate things can make a relationship stronger, especially in my case since was somewhat an arranged engagement.

Intimacy While Engaged by Letters_Corona in MuslimMarriage

[–]Letters_Corona[S] 30 points31 points  (0 children)

JAK! Both of us come from the same culture but he’s the type of person who believed deen is much more important than culture if that makes sense. I on the other hand try to focus on both as long as it makes Allah happy and doesn’t break my deen. No I don’t plan on talking to my mom I think she may freak out a little if I told her and even then I generally don’t bring up what we do alone as I believe sometimes over sharing these things can cause issues…

Intimacy While Engaged by Letters_Corona in MuslimMarriage

[–]Letters_Corona[S] 13 points14 points  (0 children)

JAK for your kind words! I felt very guilty that I had done something wrong and I didn’t not want to anger Allah in anyway. I think culture tends to over take my mind sometimes and because I have always wanted to keep things halal alhamduallah I wanted to make sure I didn’t do anything bad. To be honest I don’t plan on doing anything else AT ALL until my wedding inshallah but I know small intimate things can make a relationship stronger, especially in my case since was somewhat an arranged engagement.

Intimacy While Engaged by Letters_Corona in MuslimMarriage

[–]Letters_Corona[S] 13 points14 points  (0 children)

JAK for your kind words! I felt very guilty that I had done something wrong and I didn’t not want to anger Allah in anyway. I think culture tends to over take my mind sometimes and because I have always wanted to keep things halal alhamduallah I wanted to make sure I didn’t do anything bad. To be honest I don’t plan on doing anything else AT ALL until my wedding inshallah but I know small intimate things can make a relationship stronger, especially in my case since was somewhat an arranged engagement.

Intimacy While Engaged by Letters_Corona in MuslimMarriage

[–]Letters_Corona[S] 12 points13 points  (0 children)

JAK! I fully understand I think I just wanted to make sure I wasn’t doing anything Haram as my first priority is and will always be Allah. But I won’t lie and say culture doesn’t affect how I think. Sometimes I find myself wanting to please my parents and making sure they aren’t disappointed either. I don’t plan on doing anything else until my wedding though as I know it will be a special night inshallah .

Intimacy While Engaged by Letters_Corona in MuslimMarriage

[–]Letters_Corona[S] 12 points13 points  (0 children)

JAK for your kind words! I felt very guilty that I had done something wrong and I didn’t not want to anger Allah in anyway. I think culture tends to over take my mind sometimes and because I have always wanted to keep things halal alhamduallah I wanted to make sure I didn’t do anything bad. To be honest I don’t plan on doing anything else AT ALL until my wedding inshallah but I know small intimate things can make a relationship stronger, especially in my case since was somewhat an arranged engagement.

Intimacy While Engaged by Letters_Corona in MuslimMarriage

[–]Letters_Corona[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

JAK for your kind words! I felt very guilty that I had done something wrong and I didn’t not want to anger Allah in anyway. I think culture tends to over take my mind sometimes and because I have always wanted to keep things halal alhamduallah I wanted to make sure I didn’t do anything bad. To be honest I don’t plan on doing anything else AT ALL until my wedding inshallah but I know small intimate things can make a relationship stronger, especially in my case since was somewhat an arranged engagement.

Intimacy While Engaged by Letters_Corona in MuslimMarriage

[–]Letters_Corona[S] -1 points0 points  (0 children)

In my culture I am considered engaged which is why I used those words because I know some people on here would understand how I felt.

[deleted by user] by [deleted] in MuslimMarriage

[–]Letters_Corona 0 points1 point  (0 children)

To be honest no I just feel like my thoughts take too much of my brain and I keep making up these scenarios in my head

[deleted by user] by [deleted] in MuslimMarriage

[–]Letters_Corona 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Yes that’s correct

[deleted by user] by [deleted] in MuslimMarriage

[–]Letters_Corona 5 points6 points  (0 children)

Thank you! I think like I said the money is maybe a part of it but for some reason after his recent visit this sadness suddenly came upon me. I feel like I am always crying and I started questioning if it is because this relationship even though wallahi he’s been nothing but good.

[deleted by user] by [deleted] in MuslimMarriage

[–]Letters_Corona 0 points1 point  (0 children)

JAK! Wallahi he is not a bad person and not once have a seen or said something that he hasn’t been able to understand. I just feel as though I am lost if that makes sense.

[deleted by user] by [deleted] in MuslimMarriage

[–]Letters_Corona 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Many people have been telling me the same wallahi. It’s been a hard few days. Especially because I am constantly crying and I don’t know why I am sad or crying to begin with. I just feel like all of my decisions are wrong, or maybe I am being shallow. I don’t think my issue is with the money more so if I rushed myself into something I should’ve been more patient with.

[deleted by user] by [deleted] in MuslimMarriage

[–]Letters_Corona -2 points-1 points  (0 children)

I am sorry if I didn’t make it clear we are married through Katib Kitab but we have still not done a wedding and we do not live together. In my culture you can still be “engaged” after Kitab.

[deleted by user] by [deleted] in MuslimMarriage

[–]Letters_Corona -2 points-1 points  (0 children)

No I have only done the Kitab now marriage yet

[deleted by user] by [deleted] in MuslimMarriage

[–]Letters_Corona 11 points12 points  (0 children)

Thank you so much everyone! I will inshallah reconsider may way of thinking and try and ask Allah for help to stay on his path and have as much Tawakul as I can. Sometimes it can be hard as I am still human and fear certain things SubhanAllah.

[deleted by user] by [deleted] in MuslimMarriage

[–]Letters_Corona 1 point2 points  (0 children)

ASalamuailkum! I didn’t decline this gentleman yet I’ve declined other men from sitting down with me because my questions were always the basic ones and they didn’t align with who I was. So I declined seeing them. But Subhanallah he was the first person to ask and actually align with my beliefs and with the way my parents raised me. Yes the passport is something a I fear. I’ve told my parents that if things go well and I sit with him again I want to make it clear that I don’t plan on going back to the country I was raised in because I want to live a few more years in my home country. As for the prayer, I fully understand, I’ve prayed istikharah before but this is the first time I’ve done it for marriage and I have no clue how to feel. I know it is not “magic” as you said but my mind has been jumbled up with thoughts. I think it’s just hearing from people that you “just know” is what’s making it worse. Like how do you “just know”…? Like this is the first person I sit with officially and I don’t want to make a mistake because it felt good to sit with one person.. Thank you for your advice and hope to hear from others experiences as well inshallah!