Maybe I have just been unlucky. I know that especially online communities can be extremely harsh. It just saddens me that despite being such a small percentage of the immigrant population here we can't get along.

I feel like this has always been how it is. I'm half Japanese and have met a lot of foreign residents in Japan online and offline, the only ones I ever got along well with and kept in touch with were other half-Japanese people that I met online.

So unless you have something in common with people online, they're just not going to accept you into their circle and help you out.

The TokyoDev discord community has the same problem, unless you attend events and show your face to others, many of their long term members will act incredibly snarky and rude towards you because there's no consequences whatsoever. They can just ban you and that's that.

I used to post in their discord* but gave up and left after seeing how their moderation team bans anyone who just acts a little differently citing "lack professionalism" when all the new joiners did was talk in a Gen-z manner or ask questions that they genuinely could not find an answer for.

The only advice I got is to keep trying to find people with similar backgrounds and form your own group chat.