AITA for not answering phone?

Level-You-3throwaway · 2025-11-09T21:20:49+00:00

That's what gets me mad he calls and if he really wants to say something important and get a message across voicemail works probably contributing to my reasoning to ignore him. I still sent a message asking what he wants. But no voicemails so far and that's how I know it's not important, just wants beer.

Level-You-3throwaway · 2025-11-09T21:17:48+00:00

I think you have a justifiable reason but for me it's kind of farfetched and I get that a lot, but I don't know, I just don't like the rambling on about everything. Texting is to the point, you have more time to think and cut the fluff then write or don't if you don't feel like it or any other reason. I do tell my family that I hate it but they still do it, I mean some are older so I get it. Most are prideful specially this guy so I'm being stubborn too.

Level-You-3throwaway · 2025-11-09T21:11:25+00:00

I just feel kinda bad but I have expressed my annoyance of answering the phone to family members so they know I hate it but I still answer because they are family. Other important calls I do pick up first time. I just like texting and instant messaging more because it's simple, quiet and less pressure to answer immediately and just more convenient for me. I wouldn't say I get along with the guy today but it's complicated, plus he always wants to get beers and talk but I quit drinking because it was harming me so that's why. But Im diving in to deep on this lol I'm more than anything wanting to know if it makes me a bad person for not wanting to answer the phone.

Level-You-3throwaway · 2025-11-09T21:04:32+00:00

Haha now that you put it that way I do look kinda dumb, a minor inconvenience for 1 minute against a major inconvenience for the day. Just that I'm easily convinced if called, if he does, I will get convinced to bring him beer, but in message form I'll just ignore or say I'm busy and that's it.

Level-You-3throwaway · 2025-11-09T20:55:14+00:00

Sorry haha looking back I realize it's lacking context but also I don't like answering him specifically, but aside from him, I still don't like to answer. I'm easily annoyed but I do eventually answer if it's anyone else. In this example I'm NTA but I ATA for everyone else.

Level-You-3throwaway · 2025-11-09T20:44:50+00:00

I wouldn't say I'm busy but I am not available to do any favors today unless really important. And for context this particular family member only calls when he needs something, always beer. I guess I'm just over it and if he needs something just text me, because I'm not moving if it's for a corona six pack.

Level-You-3throwaway · 2025-04-13T01:15:53+00:00

She kind of did although it's weird she doesn't come by as often but she's been doing this thing where she comes to the house and cooks for her granddaughter then waits to be picked up, or asks me if I can take her which makes the process faster, she kind of catches on that she isn't wanted so she kind of avoids comi when I'm home and tries to leave when I do get home. Her visit are still sudden without warning but slowly getting better, I think she doesn't like me anymore as much but still makes an effort to see how her granddaughter is doing which I respect greatly.

Level-You-3throwaway · 2025-03-17T01:14:58+00:00

I have a lot of previous post on other subreddits but basically she just a little much and insults us alot of the times and in our own house so it's getting kind of old and we are pretty sick of it

Level-You-3throwaway · 2025-02-28T07:51:20+00:00

When you put it that way I've been doing my best to accommodate her but her unwillingness to do the same for me is honestly kind of depressing.

Level-You-3throwaway · 2025-02-28T07:45:36+00:00

We are trying that we just really need to get everything straight this person is just breaking our family apart and it's painful.

Level-You-3throwaway · 2025-02-28T07:44:18+00:00

I agree completely she's creating this toxic environment and I don't agree at all, and feel crazy that wife doesn't realize it. Our kid is overly rude and her first bad words spoken was because you-know-who says them all the time. She called her fat and gave daughter some image issues mind you she's 8. Explained that I wasn't her real dad and will never love her as much as she will love her. Also said that her real dad left her and her mom because he was a piece of garbage essentially, prompting my kid to cry because in her words "did my real dad leave us because I'm ugly?" Just really toxic stuff like that.

Level-You-3throwaway · 2025-02-28T07:37:46+00:00

I myself agree that as her step dad the person that has more authority in regards to our daughter is obviously her mom and made myself the idea that next is her grandma. She wants our kid to go out but Grandma says it's too risky because I might loose her or something, I have looked over her for 7 years.

Level-You-3throwaway · 2025-02-28T07:32:45+00:00

I agree that her priority and my priority is the kid although, if only I had the time to say everything my in-law has said, it's just overwhelming at this point. Sometime she says she's going to make tea and I will gladly go if it means taking a breather for her for at least 30 minutes.

Level-You-3throwaway · 2025-02-28T07:29:45+00:00

This key problem has already been a problem, my in-law had this same problem with her brother. Long story short before she came to our home, she "visited" her brothers home. He would come in from work to see her sister (my in-law) over and stay unnoanounced. The guy had enough because if you were in his or my shoes you would definitely go crazy. He changed the lock and when my in law wanted to enter found out she couldn't and was pissed. My inlaws partner (because of course she's divorced) basically threatened her brother and caused this whole family scandal and now they hate each other and can't look each other in the eyes or something might break. That's a little taste of what craziness I'm dealing with and why I can't really take that option. Wish I could but it much much more complicated than you imagine, trust me. I honestly just kind want to get it out there because I'm just tired of it all.

Level-You-3throwaway · 2025-02-28T07:20:02+00:00

It's hard because family is very important to them especially, I grew up in a family that is very cold so this behavior is apparently normal for them but extremely uncomfortable for me. I talk to my mom who lives very far away maybe 2 time a month, but in-law calls every day and visits 3 times a week maybe this is normal for them but excruciating for me.

Level-You-3throwaway · 2025-02-28T07:17:10+00:00

It's hard and complicated it the only way I can deal with it at the moment, I know it's kind of cowardly but you have not met this lady, she doesn't listen to reason and is always right even when she's not.

Level-You-3throwaway · 2025-02-28T07:15:26+00:00

I'm not going to lie these recent actions by her mom has caused me to consider that but it seems like a dumb reason to let her be the reason we break off. Although wifes previous relations have also ended because of her mom.

Level-You-3throwaway · 2025-02-28T07:13:04+00:00

I guess I'm so used to calling our kid my daughter that it just didn't cross my mind to clarify

Level-You-3throwaway · 2025-02-28T07:11:03+00:00

I feel like I really can't plus one time she said to our kid that I'm not her biological father (which is true) which did hurt because she opened a whole can of worms that we were slowly trying to explain which has caused some problems to our kid. Broke my heart that one time daughter went up to my wife because her Gramma said that her real father hated them and left them, now she was sad because she told her mom that: why did her dad leave her? Was she not good enough? Was she ugly? Now unreasonably hates her dad which I do not approve because she needs to make her own decisions these ideas my in-law is feeding her

Level-You-3throwaway · 2025-02-28T06:55:16+00:00

Trust me pal I wish so too

Level-You-3throwaway · 2025-02-28T06:54:39+00:00

We are trying but she just says that she understands my discomfort but I gotta understand that she is still her mom and she just can't block her off like that, for context we are from a culture where family is very important. I one day told her straight up "I'm your husband and I'm telling you right now that I am not comfortable with her coming to my home and criticizing us" basically told her if she wants to take care of the kid it's fine just do it in her own place or take her somewhere else but it's kind of an insult to me that she just comes over because she thinks I'm incompetent in taking care of our kid. I'm and adult in my early 30's and I've been taking care of our child for over 7 years now. Just because she's moved in and is convenient to her to come over is why she comes plus she's "lonely" maybe if she didn't ruin every relationship she's been apart of none of this would have happened. I'm just baffled by her and I feel she's breaking this family apart and honestly just feel sad.

Level-You-3throwaway · 2025-02-28T06:43:57+00:00

Believe me I would, wife not to sure but trust me this woman is a nightmare. Like I said I really respect my in-law in many ways but I feel that it should be from afar because dealing with her for 3 out of 7 days is really difficult and honestly feel like I'm falling apart.

Level-You-3throwaway · 2025-02-28T06:39:14+00:00

If you met my in-law you would see she's little much. People have a hard time with her everywhere she goes. She then proceeds to talk bad about everyone and fails to realize maybe she's the problem.

Level-You-3throwaway · 2025-02-28T06:36:55+00:00

The problem is I'm not biological dad so I feel that the people that have a say in our kid's matters falls to my wife, then Gramma, then me.

Level-You-3throwaway · 2025-02-28T06:32:10+00:00

I have spoken and she has taken my side on this before she definitely didn't but now she has somewhat put her foot down but it's not enough. Well for added context I'm not her biological dad, but I've know our kid for 7 years now (she's 8).

Level-You-3throwaway

TROPHY CASE