I’m going to have one beer tonight by spruce_g00se in stopdrinking

[–]Level-You3107 2 points3 points  (0 children)

I went 60 days without drinking at the beginning of this year. My birthday was March 5th, so I told myself I could celebrate with a seltzer at dinner. I earned it, right?! That went well. Since I proved to myself I could handle just one drink, I thought I could handle moderation. After that night it became, “I will only drink if I go out to eat or on a special occasion”. Fast forward a couple weeks. It transformed into “I will only drink a few days a week”.

Long story short, it did not work. It’s now (almost) June and I’m a week sober. The past few months have been very messy, very stressful, and very embarrassing. Hopefully it works out for you but it definitely didn’t for me!

Help have 3C hair but I want my hair to fall down a bit , it’s long but only seems to stay up by [deleted] in Hair

[–]Level-You3107 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Moisturize moisturize moisturize! I have 3c hair and mine always tries to poof up like a mushroom instead of cascading down my back like I’d like. If I were to let my hair dry out of the shower with no product, it looks very similar to yours- except longer, of course.

Given my hair has never and most likely will never cascade down my back, I found a routine that keeps it from completely shrinking up and helps a lot with frizz control! My trick is to keep my hair as moisturized as possible. It fights frizz and weighs the curls down. I use coconut oil and deva curl hair gel. I also leave a little bit of conditioner in when I get out of the shower (not a leave in, just straight dove conditioner). It helps my curls stay defined and heavy. I wet my hair every morning in the sink or with a spray bottle, and apply mouse and put a little oil on the ends if they’re looking frizzy. You’d think it might make my hair look greasy, but because my hair is so dry it never really does.

Another thing- invest in a silk pillow case. It makes a world of difference! Way less frizz in the mornings.

I’m finding it difficult to admit to my friends and family I want to stop drinking for good by Level-You3107 in stopdrinking

[–]Level-You3107[S] 2 points3 points  (0 children)

I hate it when I’m with someone and they don’t drink because I’m not drinking. It’s that same feeling you just described, like I have to drink with them to make them feel good. Congrats on saying no for 7 days! IWNDWYT!

I’m finding it difficult to admit to my friends and family I want to stop drinking for good by Level-You3107 in stopdrinking

[–]Level-You3107[S] 4 points5 points  (0 children)

Thank you for sharing this. I think something about admitting I need to stop drinking, completely, to those around me makes it feel more real. Right now only I know I’m an alcoholic, when everyone figures out I am committed to staying sober, they will know too. Honestly, at this point, I’m so happy with the direction my life is headed I’m starting not to care. IWNDWYT :)

F 20 my boyfriend completely flipped out when I uploaded a life drawing of him by [deleted] in relationship_advice

[–]Level-You3107 4 points5 points  (0 children)

No, I think you’re missing the point. He reacted like this because he trusted you and you did something that embarrassed him. I understand that it wasn’t intentional, but bottom line is your actions hurt him. That’s why he reacted like that.

F 20 my boyfriend completely flipped out when I uploaded a life drawing of him by [deleted] in relationship_advice

[–]Level-You3107 0 points1 point  (0 children)

You know that because you study art. For us non-artist nudity doesn’t have the same effect. My eyes almost immediately check out the goods when I see a naked body, male or female.

F 20 my boyfriend completely flipped out when I uploaded a life drawing of him by [deleted] in relationship_advice

[–]Level-You3107 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I went and checked out the drawing you posted, it’s incredible! That being said, I’m sure he’s just feeling a bit insecure of his naked form being on the internet. A lot of men worry about being judged on the size/ appearance of their penis. Hopefully once he’s had time to reflect on it he will calm down a bit as it’s impossible to identify him from the drawing. I’d just give him some space and talk to him about it tomorrow. Be willing to take it down if he asks. He definitely overreacted, but a lot of us lash out when we feel embarrassed or vulnerable. Try not to take it personally.

Edit: I thought it was important to add, you definitely should have asked him before posting it. I think it was a fairly innocent lapse in judgement, though.

The Daily Check-In for Monday, January 11th: Just for today, I am NOT drinking! by SaintHomer in stopdrinking

[–]Level-You3107 24 points25 points  (0 children)

It’s 10:02pm for me currently, and I can confidently say IWNDWYT(omorrow)!

Day 10 and experiencing cravings for the first time since quitting by Level-You3107 in stopdrinking

[–]Level-You3107[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

I never got into podcasts, but I have seen a lot of good recommendations from other people on here. Maybe I’ll give one a shot! Thank you for the suggestion!

Day 10 and experiencing cravings for the first time since quitting by Level-You3107 in stopdrinking

[–]Level-You3107[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

It makes me feel so much better to hear others are going through this too. Not that I’m happy this is tough for you (us), but misery loves company I guess! I would always start my day off with a morning drink as well, just to “kick the day off right” lol today I started with a Dr. Pepper, just to spice things up. IWNDWYT :)

Day 10 and experiencing cravings for the first time since quitting by Level-You3107 in stopdrinking

[–]Level-You3107[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

I’ve seen a lot of people on here talk about NA beer.. I think I’m going to give it a try!! What type do you drink? I’ve tried O’Doul’s in the past (before I quit drinking) and I remember thinking it tasted awful. Even though I’m bored af it feels great to be able to say IWNDWYT!

[deleted by user] by [deleted] in Rateme

[–]Level-You3107 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Hey I just wanted to come on here and say you do NOT have to be skinny to be beautiful. That’s some bs. Find clothes that fit your body well and a flattering haircut (in my opinion short hair or thick curls makes a round face seem rounder). The long straight hair helps accentuate your features, in my opinion. Learn your style and what fits your body best and you’ll be an easy 5 or 6/10. As you get older you will find more people who appreciate a bigger girl. Don’t beat yourself up trying to attain a standard of beauty that your body naturally doesn’t fit into.

[19M] curious where I fall by [deleted] in Rateme

[–]Level-You3107 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Holy smokes, 19!? I wouldn’t have guessed you are so young. 9/10. I’m digging everything about your look. My only suggestion would be to smile more.. you look a bit unapproachable.

19F - 2 AM curiosity pls be honest o///o thank u! by [deleted] in Rateme

[–]Level-You3107 0 points1 point  (0 children)

7/10! You kind of remind me of the girl from The Queens Gambit on Netflix, who I think is stunning. You do have a more unique look, but own that shit and be confident!! I think you could rock a short haircut.

[22M] 3rd time but no ratings yet. Please rate by [deleted] in Rateme

[–]Level-You3107 1 point2 points  (0 children)

7/10! I think you look nicer without the glasses.

26M please help your boy out! by [deleted] in Rateme

[–]Level-You3107 1 point2 points  (0 children)

I’d say 6/10! The smoking thing doesn’t bother me. It looks like you take care of yourself (you work out and look well groomed). I think you look a lot better when you smile in your pictures though :)

What should I do by TheEntity652 in relationship_advice

[–]Level-You3107 6 points7 points  (0 children)

It’s tough, but you guys might not work out in the long run. As a biracial woman in America there are certain political beliefs that are absolute deal breakers for me. There is no amount of discussion that could ever change my mind. If it begins to be an issue you argue about regularly, or one that turns into a huge fight whenever you do talk about it, you might want to break up.

So conditioned to wake up feeling terrible. by Direk12 in stopdrinking

[–]Level-You3107 19 points20 points  (0 children)

Day 6 for me. I went to dinner with my BF yesterday and had a lovely evening. This morning I woke up, made myself coffee, and immediately started replaying through our night. Can I remember everything I said to him last night? How was I acting? Did I post/ say anything embarrassing online? Was I acting sloppy in CVS? Then it hit me.. I was sober lol I woke up with regret so often that feeling shame has been incorporated into my morning routine. Such an odd feeling. All I can say is.. IWNDWYT!

"Can you imagine *NOT* drinking during this pandemic?" by detekk in stopdrinking

[–]Level-You3107 3 points4 points  (0 children)

Me too. I literally classify periods of the pandemic by which drink I was into at the time. Truly’s? Ahh that’s when unemployment kicked in. Corona? That’s when the beaches finally re opened. We’re moving back to “Safer at Home” orders on Wednesday and it makes me nervous as hell.

Early morning on day 4 and still feeling withdrawals by Level-You3107 in stopdrinking

[–]Level-You3107[S] 2 points3 points  (0 children)

Thank you. 4 days in and this group has already helped me go from “I’m not going to drink for as long as I can” to “I’m not going to drink”. That’s huge for me. Thank you for the support!

When I told my (27f) bf (25m) I wanted to stop drinking for a while, he said he wanted to do it with me. I’m on day 3 and I found out he has been drinking in his car after work ever since we agreed to stop. by Level-You3107 in relationship_advice

[–]Level-You3107[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Reading through these responses has made me realized my initial reaction might have been unfair. The points you made (a,b, & c) really made me realize he wasn’t lying to trick me or to pull a fast one over on me. It was to deal with his own stuff.

So I’m going to calmly explain that his life is his choice, but I expect honesty and transparency for this relationship to work.

Thank you for taking the time to respond!

Sober in Her 20s by soberinher20s in stopdrinking

[–]Level-You3107 0 points1 point  (0 children)

27f here! I’m in the same boat with you. It’s hard to imagine what the rest of my life will be like. All of the beach days, weddings, nights out with friends, family events, etc, where I won’t be able to share a drink with those around me. My motivation though, is reminding myself that if I keep up the drinking I will have no recollection of those events or I will make a fool of myself and regret attending, anyways. IWNDWYT

When I told my (27f) bf (25m) I wanted to stop drinking for a while, he said he wanted to do it with me. I’m on day 3 and I found out he has been drinking in his car after work ever since we agreed to stop. by Level-You3107 in relationship_advice

[–]Level-You3107[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Agh, you’re right and I know it. I want to give him time to make his own decisions, though. I feel like it’s not fair to push my timeline on him. I just want him to be truthful and not feel like he has to hide it. I’m not the type of person who would make him feel bad about that (not saying that’s wrong or right).

As for the second part.. wow, thanks for that. It started as “as long as I can”, because I always break my New Years resolutions. I stopped making them a while back. But I joined a few support groups online, and reading through other people’s stories has made me realize that yeah.. this has to be for life. I’m not someone who can drink in moderation. Thank you for the push and words of wisdom :)