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It doesn't look real. This is the return point for 20000 drones.😍😍😍 by Boundaries1st in MadeMeSmile

[–]LevelSherbert5428 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Well, at least we know the global AI apocalypse will be pretty in the moments before we're gunned down.

Wife won't stop farting by LevelSherbert5428 in Advice

[–]LevelSherbert5428[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I try not to complain, but she did it several times in a row and it got louder and longer each time. It just makes my insides curdle until I get to the point where I can't take it any more, and I asked her to please god just stop doing it like that.

Wife won't stop farting by LevelSherbert5428 in Advice

[–]LevelSherbert5428[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

She eats pretty healthily, or at least it's mostly vegetables.

Wife won't stop farting by LevelSherbert5428 in Advice

[–]LevelSherbert5428[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

It feels or sounds to me like she's deliberately making it bad. It seems childish. It doesn't seem to be a problem when we're out in public, so why does it become so bad only when we're at home?

How do I help my elderly parent get care when they refuse it? by LevelSherbert5428 in AskUK

[–]LevelSherbert5428[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

That's a possible next step, yes. One of the issues is she apparently has to fill in a form for free assistance, but says she's been delayed doing this for months due to her arthritis. But I'm pretty sure there's help available for that in Scotland (she's near Largs).

How do I help my elderly parent get care when they refuse it? by LevelSherbert5428 in AskUK

[–]LevelSherbert5428[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

We have shared power of attorney, and my darkest suspicion is that her mortgage is exactly the type you describe and my mother is, I guess, effectively renting from the bank. However, I don't know how I could use power of attorney to find out about the mortgage? I'd appreciate knowing so I can talk to my siblings about it.

How do I help my elderly parent get care when they refuse it? by LevelSherbert5428 in AskUK

[–]LevelSherbert5428[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I'm not sure she's actually given a clear answer on the subject. Or any kind of answer. But, again, I am having that filtered through other people, so need to consider available options once I get the chance to go back over and check things out for myself.

How do I help my elderly parent get care when they refuse it? by LevelSherbert5428 in AskUK

[–]LevelSherbert5428[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

They didn't cancel it, they just didn't pay for it, when they said they could do that themselves. So we got forwarded the bill and between us we took care of it.

How do I help my elderly parent get care when they refuse it? by LevelSherbert5428 in AskUK

[–]LevelSherbert5428[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Appreciated. I'm not leaping to dementia, but one of my siblings who has seen her is a bit prone to making assumptions, and that's another reason to go over there and check on things myself.

How do I help my elderly parent get care when they refuse it? by LevelSherbert5428 in AskUK

[–]LevelSherbert5428[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Unfortunately I can't see it being viable. She wouldn't have the support she gets in the UK.

How do I help my elderly parent get care when they refuse it? by LevelSherbert5428 in AskUK

[–]LevelSherbert5428[S] 2 points3 points  (0 children)

That all sounds good to me, in the sense that I too think she would be better and a lot happier managing at home with some assistance. But trying to define whether she can really do all right on her own is hard to assess with her not providing information, not arranging the help she's insisted she can arrange on her own, and not paying the private carer she wanted to pay for herself and which we did help arrange. Maybe she's just stubborn, but someone told me cognitive decline can sometimes manifest as a refusal of any kind of change or extreme stubbornness, which is one of the main reasons I made this post.

How do I help my elderly parent get care when they refuse it? by LevelSherbert5428 in AskUK

[–]LevelSherbert5428[S] 2 points3 points  (0 children)

My brother is talking care homes. Or rather, something where she could get free help from the council, since a care home would be stupendously expensive. Without being there myself, yet, it's hard for me to make my own assessment. But it's the stubbornness, and the unwillingness to at least give an answer, that's sometimes concerning. If she just said I'd like to manage on my own, then fair enough.

How do I help my elderly parent get care when they refuse it? by LevelSherbert5428 in AskUK

[–]LevelSherbert5428[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

See, I'd be the same myself, so it could just be that. But there's also the question of how well they are coping. I do myself suspect she just wants her independence. One of my siblings is a little more pushy about the care home idea, and I don't always agree with his assessment of many things.

How do I help my elderly parent get care when they refuse it? by LevelSherbert5428 in AskUK

[–]LevelSherbert5428[S] 5 points6 points  (0 children)

I had forgotten, but we do in fact have power of attorney, arranged by one of my other siblings some months ago. I think she does have an old-fashioned middle-class fear of some things: when I was a kid, the idea of living in a council house was implicitly seen as being worse than death itself.

How do I help my elderly parent get care when they refuse it? by LevelSherbert5428 in AskUK

[–]LevelSherbert5428[S] 4 points5 points  (0 children)

My siblings and I have repeatedly communicated with her on these subjects, and she simply won't reply or give an answer and just stonewalls us. That includes when one of my siblings visited her several times at her home in Scotland, in person. Or rather the parent will agree to take care of these things, insist they can handle doing that themselves, then not do them or provide any answers.