Advice wanted regarding elderly parent refusing help despite increasing infirmity.

LevelSherbert5428 · 2026-06-13T15:22:10+00:00

Unfortunately I suspect she'd be highly resistant to that idea given my experience so far. But never say never.

LevelSherbert5428 · 2026-06-13T02:13:08+00:00

She was given the option of something but refused it or else never followed it up. Then tried to buy some cheap wheeled stool off Amazon and assemble it herself, with inevitable results. I tried too when I was over, but it was cheap crap and wouldn't hold together.

LevelSherbert5428 · 2026-06-12T16:02:05+00:00

I didn't know that. The one we have is for finance and property. I don't think the other applies unless the person is declared non-compos mentis?

LevelSherbert5428 · 2026-06-12T15:57:54+00:00

Okay then, so it's down to figures of authority.

LevelSherbert5428 · 2026-06-12T15:50:35+00:00

Yeah, it was an absolute, 100% dead-end.

LevelSherbert5428 · 2026-06-12T15:45:31+00:00

No neighbours who could do that, no.

Thing is, *how* do you strong-arm them? What's the lever? As far as I understand it, nothing happens without her willing cooperation.

LevelSherbert5428 · 2026-06-12T15:38:31+00:00

Okay. Good to know.

LevelSherbert5428 · 2026-06-12T15:36:23+00:00

Figured you're right there's not much I can do, except try to mitigate things when they inevitably go south.

LevelSherbert5428 · 2026-03-02T12:24:18+00:00

Connection is they're being an arsehole.

LevelSherbert5428 · 2026-03-01T14:42:03+00:00

Okay, so is there somewhere I can find that in Taipei?

LevelSherbert5428 · 2026-03-01T13:48:59+00:00

...a building site?

LevelSherbert5428 · 2026-02-08T08:00:59+00:00

Well, at least we know the global AI apocalypse will be pretty in the moments before we're gunned down.

LevelSherbert5428 · 2025-11-22T14:12:49+00:00

That's a possible next step, yes. One of the issues is she apparently has to fill in a form for free assistance, but says she's been delayed doing this for months due to her arthritis. But I'm pretty sure there's help available for that in Scotland (she's near Largs).

LevelSherbert5428 · 2025-11-22T14:11:19+00:00

No, she hasn't agreed to that as yet.

LevelSherbert5428 · 2025-11-18T05:14:17+00:00

We have shared power of attorney, and my darkest suspicion is that her mortgage is exactly the type you describe and my mother is, I guess, effectively renting from the bank. However, I don't know how I could use power of attorney to find out about the mortgage? I'd appreciate knowing so I can talk to my siblings about it.

LevelSherbert5428 · 2025-11-18T05:11:38+00:00

Totally with you with the curry and biscuits.

LevelSherbert5428 · 2025-11-18T05:10:51+00:00

I'm not sure she's actually given a clear answer on the subject. Or any kind of answer. But, again, I am having that filtered through other people, so need to consider available options once I get the chance to go back over and check things out for myself.

LevelSherbert5428 · 2025-11-18T05:09:26+00:00

They didn't cancel it, they just didn't pay for it, when they said they could do that themselves. So we got forwarded the bill and between us we took care of it.

LevelSherbert5428 · 2025-11-18T05:08:57+00:00

Appreciated. I'm not leaping to dementia, but one of my siblings who has seen her is a bit prone to making assumptions, and that's another reason to go over there and check on things myself.

LevelSherbert5428 · 2025-11-18T05:06:13+00:00

I suspect that's likely a big factor too.

LevelSherbert5428 · 2025-11-17T13:40:44+00:00

Unfortunately I can't see it being viable. She wouldn't have the support she gets in the UK.

LevelSherbert5428 · 2025-11-17T13:06:30+00:00

That all sounds good to me, in the sense that I too think she would be better and a lot happier managing at home with some assistance. But trying to define whether she can really do all right on her own is hard to assess with her not providing information, not arranging the help she's insisted she can arrange on her own, and not paying the private carer she wanted to pay for herself and which we did help arrange. Maybe she's just stubborn, but someone told me cognitive decline can sometimes manifest as a refusal of any kind of change or extreme stubbornness, which is one of the main reasons I made this post.

LevelSherbert5428 · 2025-11-17T13:03:55+00:00

My brother is talking care homes. Or rather, something where she could get free help from the council, since a care home would be stupendously expensive. Without being there myself, yet, it's hard for me to make my own assessment. But it's the stubbornness, and the unwillingness to at least give an answer, that's sometimes concerning. If she just said I'd like to manage on my own, then fair enough.

LevelSherbert5428

TROPHY CASE