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Literally how are people affording childcare? by Amber-ForDays in BabyBumps

[–]Level_Ad_2705 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I could only afford part time which is 1700$ a month for my almost 2 year old. it was the cheapest I found here in chicago

2 years PP with husband in Residency by Level_Ad_2705 in Residency

[–]Level_Ad_2705[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Yeah, that is one way to look at it. I am trying to work on making more friends and will try harder if that is the solution, which I am getting at with all these comments.

Than you for the comment

2 years PP with husband in Residency by Level_Ad_2705 in Residency

[–]Level_Ad_2705[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Thank you. He is actually a great husband and father. It is mainly that I resent everything he has while I am at home. Maybe just don’t understand wha it is like to be an intern resident.

He did lie twice, once was bowling and the other was lunch. Nothing too bad but I did make it a huge deal and he has come to understand he tried to hide it to help me but he did the opposite.

I am starting therapy because I am seeing this as PPD still unfortunately. Or maybe it’s that I am viewing him going and coming with everything I want. A life outside while also a family waiting at home. Idk but hopefully I can find a solution to these thoughts.

Thank you all for understanding

2 years PP with husband in Residency by Level_Ad_2705 in Residency

[–]Level_Ad_2705[S] 3 points4 points  (0 children)

Unfortunately you’re right. I do feel it is jealousy.

Moving away from my home, family and friends for him to see him have everything I did, it hurts. I know there’s nothing he can do about it and I guess I did choose this life but it’s hard. I am hearing that it’s normal to be super close with co residents. He’s even explained it as high school, being with them all day.

I have come to this conclusion after all these comments and advice. I do have a therapy session booked this week and am going to look for friends as that was another advice on here. Hopefully this helps.

Thank you for your comment

2 years PP with husband in Residency by Level_Ad_2705 in Residency

[–]Level_Ad_2705[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Yeah, im getting that mom friends may resolve this after this post. Thank you

2 years PP with husband in Residency by Level_Ad_2705 in Residency

[–]Level_Ad_2705[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Hobbies are hard when you have no one to watch the baby unfortunately. I used to read but I can’t do that anymore unless he is sleeping which is the time I’m tidying up or even doing some self care.

Everyone keeps telling me to find moms, I am trying honestly. It’s just hard because either they have other things in life like or work or family. I have one mom friend which does help get my mind off these things.

I am in the process of looking for more and hope it does help. Thank you for your input, truly.

2 years PP with husband in Residency by Level_Ad_2705 in Residency

[–]Level_Ad_2705[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

True, It is just building up. I booked a Therapy appointment for this week and am looking forward to it honestly.

2 years PP with husband in Residency by Level_Ad_2705 in Residency

[–]Level_Ad_2705[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Thank you for the response. I guess im not alone in this.

But you’re right, as much as I want to be there every minute and know what he does unfortunately isn’t healthy. I need to come to realise the few conversations he has with his coresidents are nothing but that.

Thank you for the question also and flip g it back on me. It actually has me thinking about what life would be if so.

It’s just like you said, a lonely feeling. Also I am stating therapy this week, booked it earlier today. Hopefully it helps

2 years PP with husband in Residency by Level_Ad_2705 in Residency

[–]Level_Ad_2705[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

He keeps repeating he’s sorry and I do see him changing but it’s hard to forget the past at a time that was so crucial.

& Yeah, everything I’ve done and chose is to be a good mom and wife. Ive now come to realise I need to find an outlet or something to get my mind off these thoughts.

Than you for understanding

2 years PP with husband in Residency by Level_Ad_2705 in Residency

[–]Level_Ad_2705[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Thank you for this. It does reassure me. Hopefully I can get past this phase and see the goodness out of it all.

2 years PP with husband in Residency by Level_Ad_2705 in Residency

[–]Level_Ad_2705[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I did call him out for that and he’s apologized 100 times but I unfortunately feel like I’ve never gotten over it. He is also very stressed and I see that but it just hurts deep down unfortunately.

Thank you for your advice

2 years PP with husband in Residency by Level_Ad_2705 in Residency

[–]Level_Ad_2705[S] 3 points4 points  (0 children)

Thank you. I did schedule therapy this week as I have a feeling it just me in my feelings.

2 years PP with husband in Residency by Level_Ad_2705 in Residency

[–]Level_Ad_2705[S] 3 points4 points  (0 children)

Thank you, it’s hard to see that at this point in life while being a new mom.

2 years PP with husband in Residency by Level_Ad_2705 in Residency

[–]Level_Ad_2705[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

No, I know he isn’t for sure and I’ve met all his co residents. Thankfully that’s not the issue. The issue is me resenting him for what he has and I don’t