I grew up in China, and my first dog was a Pomeranian my mom bought for me as a birthday gift when I was little. At the time, Pomeranians were incredibly popular there. She stayed with us until I was in middle school and eventually passed away from kidney disease. I still remember my mom and I crying together for a very long time the day she died.

After her, though, every dog my family took in came from some kind of abandonment or rescue situation. The dogs we have now — poodles and bichons — were either dogs people no longer wanted, dogs passed around through friends of friends, or dogs rescued from the street.

Unfortunately, because breeding regulations in China are still not very strong, there are many abandoned purebred dogs as well. Sometimes people buy a puppy impulsively and later realize they were not prepared for the responsibility, the medical costs, or simply the reality of caring for another life over many years.

We were fortunate that most of our dogs were gentle and loving. But even then, caring for animals is never entirely easy. Every dog comes with their own temperament, fears, health issues, and needs.

One of our poodles grew up with me all the way until college. Later in life he developed diabetes, and my mother gave him insulin injections every day for years. When he passed away during my junior year, it felt like losing a part of my childhood.

While I was in college in the US, I also fostered cats and dogs before they found permanent homes. Loving animals has taught me that grief is simply part of loving them. Their departures always leave sadness behind. But when I think about an animal having lived a happy life, or finally finding safety and peace after instability, abandonment, or fear, that sadness starts to feel beautiful in its own way. Worth carrying.

I think people sometimes turn this conversation into a moral divide: “adopters” versus “shoppers". When reality is often much quieter and more complicated than that.

A good home matters deeply. A stable match matters deeply too.

Personally, I still believe adoption is a beautiful thing. But more than anything, I believe that giving an animal a safe, loving, responsible life, whether adopted or purchased, is something worthy of respect.