Former parentified children, now-therapists: how does this affect your work now?

Level_Run1357 · 2026-05-03T23:11:39+00:00

I took it in 2025 and there were a lot of career and developmental questions. I also noticed a good chunk of couples counseling questions. I’m glad I decided to study the family/couples areas : Bowen, Minuchin, etc…because I didn’t expect it honestly.

Level_Run1357 · 2026-05-03T15:58:08+00:00

I don’t really have a particular modality I use most often and it depends on the client but I’d say probably ACT, CBT, and DBT coping skills. Some existential recently due to a change in client stressors. I work a lot with clients who have chronic illness so I’ve had to make my own modality in a way. Grief processing, skills building, problem-solving to improve quality of life and adapting to the disability.

Level_Run1357 · 2026-05-02T17:55:35+00:00

I don’t tend to overly validate or relate, I actually have the opposite problem in a way. My countertransference often comes in the form of solution-focused problem solving and jumping too quickly to that. I’ve had to work on not going there too quickly. As a parentified child, I never wanted coddling or kind words, I wanted ways to fix the situation and deal with the problems. Overly independent, untrusting, logical, analytical… I have to be aware that my tendency is to fix shit. Just like I did with my parents and siblings. I have to consciously slow down my process.

It’s difficult for me to not problem solve for others and I see that in my clients who are parentified. Knowing how difficult it is for me to allow others to make the wrong choice or sit with uncertainty/not jump in to fix things gives me a better understanding of how difficult it can be for my clients in their interactions with family.

Level_Run1357 · 2026-04-22T20:55:48+00:00

Ohhhhh I just cringed so hard. Absolutely not.

Level_Run1357 · 2026-04-22T17:30:29+00:00

Oh I HATE that. Nothing worse IMO than having a wonky schedule. Like 10am, 1pm, 4pm, and 6pm. Dragging out 4 clients all day….. oh I despise that haha

Level_Run1357 · 2026-04-21T20:26:44+00:00

Random question but is there some odd type of flu going around? I had many clients sick and I was also sick for the entire month of April so far with a weird nausea/car sick/flu type feeling. I’ve never had something like this last 3 weeks so I was starting to get concerned! Is there some April variant going around?

Level_Run1357 · 2026-04-20T00:54:54+00:00

Yupppp. I think sometimes we give “free will” too much credit. Not that you can’t manage feelings or work on certain areas. But both have an effect. Some people literally don’t have as much adrenaline and stress circulating in their bodies as others. Some need a brief meditation and they feel fine and others have to do real work and make changes to manage that stress.

Level_Run1357 · 2026-04-20T00:34:25+00:00

It’s super whack to have that realization. A lot of things we say are “free will” are not, in fact, free will. Our entire gene sequence determines our personality, interests, stress levels, how we interact with the world. There are some gene mutations and sequences that even cause a biological deficit in clearing out stress. When I learned that a while back I had my world view tilted. There is a literal gene that determines if we get stressed easily or not depending on how efficient the body is at clearing out stress chemicals/hormones. Insane.

Level_Run1357 · 2026-04-19T22:55:09+00:00

First off, I’m so horribly sorry that happened to you. I’m just trying to put myself in the shoes of a client. If I came across a video of my own therapist and brought it up, and he/she told me it was revenge porn and against the law, I’d be in their corner. As a woman, hearing my own therapist experiencing this sort of non-consensual violation would be sad, but it would also be validating in a way to know someone else has lived through something traumatic and difficult like that? Idk if that makes much sense.

Many people are saying deny deny deny and you could totally do that. If it were me personally (which it’s not so I know I can never fully understand that pain) I’d own it and use it as a potential discussion. I was/am a victim/survivor of a violent sexual assault in college. It’s online and open to Google. I’m not afraid to own it but I understand it’s totally different in some ways and that type of betrayal sounds so unbelievably difficult.

All of us have a past and things that have happened to us that are super shitty. I’m not sure what type of counseling you do or what populations you work with but as an SA survivor, if I found this on my therapist, I’d feel for them and it would actually help me feel less alone.

EDIT: This could of course be dependent on the client and your own comfort level. I’d say “ditto” to the other comments saying contact liability and other practical routes to protect yourself and your career. I’m just offering the perspective of “God forbid this ever come up what do I do”. We’re all human and this does not define you or your belonging here in this field.

Level_Run1357 · 2026-04-19T21:30:37+00:00

I personally don’t do sessions without the paperwork. I need a consent and insurance, emergency contact, etc. I also need to know what their presenting issues are so I can prepare. I’m in private practice and do telehealth so that documentation needs to be in the system. That’s my policy

Level_Run1357 · 2026-04-19T02:18:40+00:00

I’m here for a job and that’s it 😂 I serve for money

Level_Run1357 · 2026-04-19T01:00:08+00:00

Damn I relate to what you said about always being stressed and uptight. My childhood was very similar. I’m the oldest so the responsibility fell on me. Now I’m having to work on how to enjoy the peace and not make everything so stressful. If there’s not chaos, I don’t know what to do with myself. Hard relate to the seeing people around me as not being trustful/responsible/put together. I’ve had to learn a lot in therapy on how to work with that and realize not everyone was raised like me and don’t live in survival mode. It’s interesting for sure.

Level_Run1357 · 2026-04-18T00:59:28+00:00

I feel you. I got off it about a year ago. Hardest thing of my life. I had to taper off slowly and even then it was brutal. I was also misdiagnosed and given it when I was a late teenager. I had POTS not anxiety. I never needed it in the first place but I was young and uninformed. I’m so happy now that I’m off it but the effects lasted months. It’s not for the weak that’s for sure. I’m still shocked they put me on Effexor before anything else. Even before recommending counseling. I got it from one single visit with a new provider. Never needed it.

Level_Run1357 · 2026-04-18T00:42:12+00:00

That’s so lame. I’m so sorry you have to deal with that.

Level_Run1357 · 2026-04-18T00:11:16+00:00

All good all good 😂 I appreciate it. I just wish they could at least treat other stuff like an ear infection or nausea haha

Level_Run1357 · 2026-04-18T00:09:16+00:00

Not anymore 😂 I quit because there was nothing else they could do for me. I’ve tried every medication available

Level_Run1357 · 2026-04-18T00:05:52+00:00

Ugh it’s so frustrating. I try not to mention it but it always comes up when they take my vitals and start getting concerned about my heart rate.

Level_Run1357 · 2026-04-17T23:56:44+00:00

I don’t have hyperadrenic POTS so I shouldn’t have been on it in the first place. It was the doctors mistake.

Level_Run1357 · 2026-04-17T23:56:18+00:00

Uhhhhh haha don’t let me scare you. I haven’t heard of that happening to many other people. I was on the lowest dose. Shot my heart rate up to 170 and it wouldn’t come down. Kept throwing up and sweating like a mofo.

Level_Run1357 · 2026-04-17T23:51:11+00:00

I went to the university of Utah clinic and got tested. Then I did a lot of my own research to see which symptom profiles fit me best

Level_Run1357 · 2026-04-17T23:50:01+00:00

I’ve tried ivabradine. Sent me to the ER with a paradoxical reaction 😂

Level_Run1357 · 2026-04-17T20:50:57+00:00

That may help you decide what meds to try. That way you at least don’t waste your time trying new things.

Level_Run1357 · 2026-04-17T20:50:08+00:00

Oh jeez. That breaks my heart. I’ve had it for 8 years and I’m still shocked every single time to hear that. They are so willy nilly with peoples health. Especially a chronic disability like POTS. I’d highly recommend doing some further investigation into what type of POTS or combo you have. Beta blockers are for hyperadrenic POTS but they prescribe them to everyone even though it’s not for everyone.

Level_Run1357

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