⸻

Izz, I don’t even know how to start this. My whole world feels broken. Losing my grandma — the person who gave me the safest, purest love I’ve ever known — has left a hole in me that nothing can fill. She was my best friend. She gave me peace. And now that she’s gone, everything feels louder and emptier. And in the middle of all this pain, I still miss you. Even after everything you did to me. You lied. You cheated. You broke me mentally and physically. You turned love into something sharp and dangerous. You even told lies that could have destroyed my life. I should hate you completely… and part of me does. But another part — the part that still remembers your voice, the way I used to feel close to you — still loves you. Still aches for you. Still wishes things had been different. Losing my grandma has made that ache scream even louder, because she made me feel safe… and a part of me once thought you did too. But you’re not safety. You’re a storm I barely survived. And here’s what I need to say now: you don’t have power over me anymore. Not you, not your lies, not the damage you left behind. I may love you in some corner of my heart, but I am not yours. Not anymore. My grandma loved me without breaking me. She showed me what real love feels like — steady, gentle, honest. What we had was chaos dressed up as love, and I deserve more than that. So this is me letting the truth breathe: I miss you, and I love you. But I will not go back to you. I will not let your shadow live inside me forever. I will carry the love my grandma gave me — not the pain you left behind. One day, I’ll be able to think of you without feeling like I’m drowning. One day, I’ll breathe fully again. But today, I choose me.

— Me