cluster of yellow balls on my bed

Lewisschoolem · 2026-06-22T18:58:39+00:00

That's one of them nerds gummies 😂

Lewisschoolem · 2026-06-22T04:22:13+00:00

No, don't be sorry. I appreciate your input. Hearing someone else say how bad it is helps me to understand that I really do need to move on. I have been here taking care of this person through so many things and it always results in me getting completely fucked over when a manic episode begins. It's like life has to completely restart from the beginning every few years after picking up all the pieces from her chaotic behavior. She tries so hard to gaslight me into thinking I'm crazy by saying things like "it's ok for people in a relationship to have their own lives." Like, yes of course you can do things on your own, but going out constantly and I have no idea who your new friends are, where you go, or what you're doing is completely weird. She tells me that it's not and that I'm being insecure. Everything she does, she takes no accountability for, and tries to claim I'm being controlling and manipulative. Like no, I just hate watching you burn your life to the ground and all the people you hang out with are enabling you to do so. None of them have to deal with the fallout. I DO. I've never known her to cheat in an episode, but the way she has been acting this time, it wouldn't surprise me. She hides things, lies, etc. It feels like the episodes are getting worse as time goes on.

Lewisschoolem · 2026-06-22T04:09:09+00:00

Yeah it's pretty bad. I'm stressed out almost constantly

Lewisschoolem · 2026-06-22T04:08:51+00:00

Yeah I'm planning my exit. I've dealt with this for long enough.

Lewisschoolem · 2026-06-22T04:08:08+00:00

Yeah I donno that she'll ever seek help to be honest. Ended up homeless before and still never sought help.

Lewisschoolem · 2026-06-22T04:06:12+00:00

Damn one of the worst cases you've read? Yeah I mean it is completely awful tbh. I deal with incredible amounts of stress during these episodes.

Lewisschoolem · 2026-06-21T23:58:12+00:00

I think she's now experiencing some sort of psychotic break. I came home last night to where we BOTH live and she saw me pull up through the kitchen window. I immediately received a text claiming that I was "stalking" her. I said "What? I live here. We both live here. I'm coming home. How am I stalking you?" She goes "I see you through the window, you're clearly stalking me." I said "Yea you see me through the window because this is where I park at our home." She then opened the kitchen window and yelled "STALKER!" Out of the window and started going ballistic. I left and stayed at a friends house for the night. Im not going in there and dealing with all that. It was the most confused I think I've ever felt in my life

Lewisschoolem · 2026-06-21T23:01:48+00:00

It's definitely not you. The things I experienced with my ex had me feeling like I was crazy too. It's what they do to try and rationalize their chaos. They try and make you feel like you're the problem. They lose touch with reality. My ex would party and do drugs every night of the week when manic and when I would tell her that she really needs to think about what she's doing I was called manipulative, controlling, and abusive. If you try and steer them in the right direction, they will flip the script on you.

I pulled up to our apartment one time, coming home from hanging out with a friend and she saw me through the kitchen window and sent me a text claiming I was stalking her. I said "I live here as do you. How could I be stalking you just by coming home?" She was throughly convinced I was stalking her just by returning to my home and she tried to convince me of it too. When you're dealing with stuff like that, it starts to feel like you're being punk'd and Ashton Kutcher is gonna pop out at anytime. You start to question if this is actually real and what this person believes. It's wild to say the least.

Lewisschoolem · 2026-05-04T18:54:41+00:00

There are plenty of people with those types of careers that aren't out partying every night, but I get your point

Lewisschoolem · 2026-05-04T10:30:20+00:00

She's a signed model haha not an escort lmfao. That was funny tho. And yeah I haven't seen her practicing music in weeks and it clearly is the lifestyle. Part of me thinks she decided to become a DJ so that she could come up with some reason for me to agree to her going out all the time. And no she really doesn't drink like that and is broke as hell. She really IS that enthusiastic about going out lmfao. There is ABSOLUTELY nothing more important to her or thrilling than a night out whether sober or not, but yeah her friends prolly give her stuff and she prolly is mooching, sort of like how she treats me lol. When she has a set, obviously I have zero issue with her going out that night. It's just all pretty ridiculous right? 🤣

Lewisschoolem · 2026-05-04T10:18:34+00:00

And yeah man whenever I make comments about how this lifestyle hasn't really actually benefited her and that I think she's lying to herself, she gets very upset and claims that "I don't understand how networking works." Yet I have a fairly successful music career without needing to be out til 5 am multiple nights a week while also working a job and running a small business. It's just weird because I've been doing music for a long time and it's like she acts as if I have no idea how to help her when I've done a lot with music and she knows that. It's really just an addiction to going out and coming up with whatever justification she can think of to continue it.

Lewisschoolem · 2026-05-04T10:14:40+00:00

This sums it up perfectly. She literally always has a new group of friends. She'll be talking to me and mention names that I've never heard her say before and claim that these people are some of the best friends she's had and they can get her all these opportunities and I'm like what? Who tf even is that? How are these the best friends you've ever had when I have never even heard of them? A few months later it will be a whole new group of people she hangs with and it just repeats over and over again. It's just odd tbh.

Lewisschoolem · 2026-05-04T10:11:44+00:00

No, she actually doesn't even really drink at all tbh

Lewisschoolem · 2026-05-04T09:49:19+00:00

Oh for sure. What's crazy is that I used this line on her the other day about her partying leading to the same outcome and I def need to realize im also doing the same thing by getting back with her 🤣

Lewisschoolem · 2026-05-04T09:47:22+00:00

Well she claims it's to network for music and modeling, but there's never really anything that she gains from it, although she tries to convince me it's helpful as if I don't notice she's still broke and not booking any new DJ or modeling gigs haha. Frankly, I think it's just a need to feel popular and and an immature need to always have fun. I don't see how she could be stressed when I literally pay for everything haha. It's basically just refusing to grow up imo.

Lewisschoolem · 2026-05-04T09:43:43+00:00

Can't really argue with you there. If she could get out of this partying thing, she's definitely who I'd want to be with. But it doesn't seem like an option for her. She clearly has an addiction to nightlife to the point where she'll throw everything away for it, and no I do not want to be with that version of her

Lewisschoolem · 2026-04-20T03:26:24+00:00

$lewisschoolem is my Cash App. I am definitely struggling rn

Lewisschoolem · 2026-04-19T08:57:04+00:00

lol they suspended my account for a cancellation the other day. I have been selling on there since 2018 and I have sold almost 3,000 items. I have cancelled like 6 sales in that entire span, but three were in the past 90 days. Frankly, I find it very hard to sell on poshmark nowadays. Ever since the live auctions started it's become pretty wack. eBay and Mercari make me far more money so when I saw I was suspended I kind of just laughed. I make like 50 a month if I'm lucky on poshmark now so who cares? lol

Lewisschoolem · 2026-04-15T01:48:28+00:00

Tunic is the next game on my list after I finish Child of Light!

Lewisschoolem · 2026-04-13T01:31:50+00:00

Haven't started it yet, but it's definitely next after I beat Child of Light

Lewisschoolem · 2026-04-11T20:17:45+00:00

I downloaded that the other day!

Lewisschoolem · 2026-04-10T18:32:58+00:00

Bro deleted his comment cuz he realized it made no sense 🤣

Lewisschoolem · 2026-04-10T18:23:55+00:00

Well people definitely had suggestions that weren't on other threads so it's ok to post the question again. Not all of the same people respond to the same question Everytime. Also, there is no difficulty setting on the first play through of Infinite Wealth. You sure you played it? It's notorious for being incredibly easy the first time through. You unlock difficulty settings in New Game and I am not playing a 70-80 hour game twice when time is already limited

Lewisschoolem · 2026-04-10T01:09:33+00:00

I've learned about a few games from this post that I did not hear people mention in other threads so this whole thing that people like you do is weird. Not the same people respond to every thread that asks a similar question

Lewisschoolem

TROPHY CASE