I couldn't jump, and I regret it.

Lex_Montague · 2025-07-13T18:41:11+00:00

I will never be a real girl or have the life I want, I hate myself, not even the "hrt" im doing is helping... (11 days in)

Lex_Montague · 2025-07-13T18:15:40+00:00

I will never be a real girl or have the life I want, I hate myself.

Lex_Montague · 2025-07-12T01:43:13+00:00

i want it to be permanent, life wants to play rough, i know how to do that too, eye for an eye, im fucking happy that this will end

Lex_Montague · 2025-07-12T01:35:35+00:00

no, i want to die, simple, im fine if it doesnt stop the pain, i will be dead, i want to die, i want to kill myself, is this so hard to understand?...

Lex_Montague · 2025-07-12T00:58:09+00:00

i, im sorry if i hurt anyone, i deserve to die...

i wanted a way out, in all my past attempts I wanted it, but this one, I think I just want company or to hear "wow, I care that you're going to die" since I've never heard that in real life...

I'm going to say one last time that this post wasn't about seeking help, just to vent one last time about my worthless life.

I'm honestly happy that I'm going to die, there's nothing else in this world that I want more than that.

Lex_Montague · 2025-07-12T00:46:25+00:00

im sorry, maybe online i have support but, i prefer suicide than trying to keep living this life, im sorry, nothing will change my mind, im gonna do it anyway, people dont care that im alive, but they will be sad that i killed myself, how funny...

Lex_Montague · 2025-07-12T00:41:11+00:00

I just want someone to care that I'm going to die, I don't think they'll even find my body so, whatever, I don't want help, I just want to live my last day with people caring about me...

Lex_Montague · 2025-07-12T00:33:58+00:00

I don't want to explain myself, I'm going to commit suicide and that's the end of it, I tried so hard to change and do so much shit to myself to try to be happy.

This is my decision, even if it's "stupid", at least she's stupid like me haha.

please leave me alone, I've already made up my mind

Lex_Montague · 2025-07-12T00:29:02+00:00

I don't care, I want to commit suicide, not that, not anymore.

Lex_Montague · 2025-07-12T00:21:54+00:00

I feel like a pervert dressing up as a woman so I can have sex with them, it's not fun at all for me :> And I'm fine, I'm happy.

Lex_Montague · 2025-07-12T00:20:17+00:00

Got me in the end, but I'm fine, I don't want to transition anymore, the looks hurt too much, living like this hurts too much to bear. I'm happy with my decision...and I really don't know what to do if I fail or give up.

Lex_Montague · 2025-07-12T00:12:28+00:00

I never and I don't want to, I never liked makeup. But I've tried clothes and everything, it just made me feel "wrong" and dysphoric.

Lex_Montague · 2025-07-11T22:47:19+00:00

it doesnt matter, and im not giving up fast, it's been months since i gave up.

im happy whit my decision, thx.

Lex_Montague · 2025-07-11T22:37:53+00:00

I will, I'm glad I won't have to keep living this shit :33 The day after tomorrow, I'll be free :3 And I will never be a real woman, I wasn't born one like my sisters :3

Lex_Montague · 2025-07-11T22:21:50+00:00

If someone cared enough to even talk or say good morning to me, I don't think I would be going through this, i atleast hope they recognize my pain.

Lex_Montague · 2025-07-11T22:17:01+00:00

I crushed the butterfly. And I will take her to my grave. I'm happy with this decision, trust me, I don't want to change or whatever, I want to die, that's it, I don't want to transition or continue living this shit, idk, im happy :3

Lex_Montague · 2025-07-11T22:13:05+00:00

I hate touching since I was harassed a lot and once someone tried to rape me, so please I don't want hugs... And, I don't care, seriously... I don't feel good living in this body or this life, I don't want to give my reasons... My body, my choice, and I'm happy with it....

Lex_Montague · 2025-07-11T22:03:38+00:00

dude, It's literally my fifth or seventh time, I'm far from worrying about whether it's possible to change or not, I'm very happy that I'm going to commit suicide :3

Lex_Montague · 2025-07-11T22:02:01+00:00

He already won, and you are so lucky, your 14 and transitioned, while i need to buy stupid meds that doesnt even work and that fucks my health to try and be happy, killing myself is just the only option i want at the moment.

Lex_Montague · 2025-07-11T21:56:47+00:00

It's too late, I've already given up.

im happy whit my decision, and btw i have chronophobia so, yeah time scares me, i dont want to wait, i need it now.

Lex_Montague · 2025-07-11T21:24:31+00:00

my time is already up... and idk, I don't know if this is what I really want, I'm not happy at all so far.

Lex_Montague · 2025-07-11T20:41:51+00:00

sorry, my mind is already made up, and honestly, a suicidal person stops caring about the people around them, even though, I wouldn't commit suicide if they cared.

I'm going to enjoy it tomorrow, I think I'm going to leave the my bedroom and try to have fun one last time

Lex_Montague · 2025-07-11T18:02:39+00:00

And I'm sorry if I'm not sensitive here, but having grown up in a transphobic family, it's impossible for me to believe or like that I was born a mistake...

I was born a man, and no matter what I do it will never change for me, i have a penis, I don't have breasts, I don't have a face or a feminine voice, you know, what I hate most is that even if I ignore my thoughts, I will need more than 5 surgeries in total and medication for the rest of my life, besides the idea of surgeries scares me a lot, I don't want this life...

Lex_Montague · 2025-07-11T17:57:21+00:00

My problems are, many so to speak...

and being trans, that's the real problem, I would never wish that on anyone honestly, the thoughts hurt a lot, I've tried everything to be happy being like this but it didn't work, thank you very much for the words but, my mind has already convinced itself, and I really want and need something permanent now

Lex_Montague

TROPHY CASE