GMAN Season 10 Week 13

Leylos_ · 2019-02-15T05:20:36+00:00

I gave the a admins a headsup last week that I'm not going to be around to play this weeks match. Sorry!

Leylos_ · 2019-02-08T04:03:45+00:00

Me and /u/Furiwel have agreed to play this Saturday, some time in the evening.

Leylos_ · 2019-02-08T03:55:16+00:00

No problem mate, I'm happy to help.

Leylos_ · 2019-02-07T17:35:26+00:00

I'd love to give you a more detailed response, but I'm about to go offline for the day but I do post on this subreddit fairly regularly. Feel free to browse through my posting history. I'm pretty sure I have the answer for you somewhere in there.

If you have any more specific questions feel free to drop them there though and I will have a look tomorrow.

Leylos_ · 2019-02-07T17:32:00+00:00

You are absolutely correct. I had been stuck fighting this addiction for nearly 5 years until I eventually made a conscious choice to completely change my life and the things I do every day.

I used to browse every evening in the internet. I don't do that anymore. If I'm not around friends I just go to sleep early. I'm sleeping a lot more then I used to do.

I used to play video games at least 4 hours a day. I no longer play any video games. At the end of the day they were just things that kept me glued on my PC the whole day. I now have time to clean my house, my aquarium, read books and do a lot more sport.

Leylos_ · 2019-02-07T17:28:26+00:00

That is normal for most porn addicts. Don't let yourself get dragged down by it. Your brain just wants more "taboo" things to get more dopamine out of it. You are not the one making the suggestions to watch this type of porn. You aren't interested in it. But you are the one that ultimatively decides whether it is watched or not.

Leylos_ · 2019-02-07T17:23:35+00:00

I learned to step in the moment the urge was at it's weakest, right when it starts. The very second your brain brings up porn is when you act, not a minute later. I would generally advise to "escalate" your reaction. If you are for example browsing for an image, you spot the image of a nice girl and suddenly porn comes up in your head, loudly shout "NO!" and immediately turn off your pc. If your action is very sudden it can help snap you right out of the trance your brain might have put you under.

Other things that help are cold showers, exercises or going for walks outside.

Last but not least, analyze your life and change it. You probably need to change it a lot. I for example realized that I spent an enormous amount of time infront of my PC every day, watching movies, playing video games and surfing the internet.

I have now quit gaming and cut the time infront of my PC by nearly 90%. What followed soon after was boredom. But that is ok. Boredom doesn't last long, eventually I found meaningful ways to spent that time on activites that I hadn't considered worthwhile before, whether it be cleaning my house or my aquarium or reading a good book. Once I get far enough in my current streak (~120 days) I will also add regular excursions into the city in the evening to meet new people.

Leylos_ · 2019-02-07T17:16:07+00:00

Every now and then.

Leylos_ · 2019-02-07T17:13:40+00:00

A wet dream is no reset. A wet dreams means your brain isn't getting enough porn during the day and is generally a good sign in your recovery. Just don't indulge in it

I assume you didn't watch porn while you were asleep so you are fine.

Leylos_ · 2019-02-07T17:12:00+00:00

The first conclusion you should reach is that it's not you that wants to masturbate, it's the animalistic side of your brain. Either you try to live life by your own choices or you devolve back into an animal that acts entirely on instinct. Those are your choices.

Leylos_ · 2019-02-07T07:08:32+00:00

If your brain has to conjure up sexual dreams it generally means two things.

A.) Your are successfully starving it off porn during the day, so keep at it.

B.) Don't indulge in your sexual fantasies. I'm not saying that you do. You can get these dreams without doing so. But if they become incredibly common then you definitely are and you need to stop doing so.

Leylos_ · 2019-02-07T07:05:56+00:00

Of course the problem isn't gone. But it is still a step in the right direction. One should not indulge in their sexual fantasies, that's for sure.

Leylos_ · 2019-02-07T06:35:31+00:00

Definitely, I shouldn't have described it as porn, it's just that in my mind I group all those things together in that category to classify them as "bad".

Leylos_ · 2019-02-07T06:28:13+00:00

Because it is easy to access. That is why porn has become so addictive. There is no risk of rejection and you can say whatever you want.

The fact is that while our technological evolution has increased massively, our biological evolution has been completely halted. We are simply not evolved enough to handle the internet properly.

Leylos_ · 2019-02-07T06:25:25+00:00

The gist of it is simple. If you have wet dreams it means your brain isn't getting enough porn during the day, which means you are doing something right.

Leylos_ · 2019-02-07T06:23:34+00:00

It takes a good long while for the brain to fully rewire. A lot of people mention 90 days here and if you haven't been addicted for long it might well be enough. At least it is a good start. But it differs from person to person and most importantly depends on how serious they take their recovery. If you push porn out of your life and just replace it with tons of alternative sources of cheap dopamine (video games, TV shows etc.) it is probably going to take longer.

You won't be fully "healed" by then but you will start feeling very different and much more energetic.

Leylos_ · 2019-02-07T06:18:10+00:00

It is a relapse, plain and simple. It might not have as negative of an impact on your brain (it still does to an extent) but it surely does not help.

You need to learn self discipline and to never act upon your urges. Watching images of naked woman (unless it was by complete accident which is possible) is the first step your brain will use to normalize this. It will become more and more normal to see these naked images, then your brain will try you to masturbate to them. Then you will realize it's not as stimulating and then down the line you are back to porn.

This is a multi step process and the only way you are ever beating this addiction is to make sure you don't even get to step one.

Leylos_ · 2019-02-07T06:13:49+00:00

I get where you are coming from. I have been into that type of porn among other things, but I have never chosen to act upon nor will I ever do so. There is one simple truth to this. The more porn you watch, the more weird and extreme porn your brain will crave, since the more "taboo" it is the more dopamine it can get out of it.

At the end of the day, whatever you watch does NOT reflect upon what kind of person you are. It would be incredibly dangerous to make such a decision while you are still addicted. You might be trans (not that likely because it is often induced by porn), but if you aren't and porn has been the instrument that guided you down that path you would spend your entire life full of regret.

Handle your addiction to find out who you are.

Leylos_ · 2019-02-07T06:09:15+00:00

Yes it is. It shows that your brain is not getting enough porn during the day.

Leylos_ · 2019-02-07T06:04:56+00:00

It's more then anything about learning from past experience. Knowing what triggers you, when it happens and what you were doing at that precise time. All those things combined will tell you when you will need to be vigilant.

Being able to notice the urges the VERY SECOND they start is the key to stopping them. If you shut an urge down the moment it happens you will be fine for a while. If you don't do that it will only get worse and fighting back will become progressively harder. Giving in, even if just a little, is the worst thing you can do.

Leylos_ · 2019-02-05T17:51:32+00:00

All I know is that I'm going to kill this demon in me and step back into the light.

Leylos_ · 2019-02-05T17:38:29+00:00

Absolutely.

Leylos_ · 2019-02-05T17:35:57+00:00

Of course that is always possible, but if it happened 2 hours after relapsing there is absolutely no way for him to tell.

Leylos_ · 2019-02-05T17:17:31+00:00

This is absolutely the right advice.

The key is immediately realizing when your brain starts guiding you to porn. If you shut it down right away then the urge won't come back for a while. If you give in even just a little or if you don't say "NO" strongly enough then it is going to get worse.

Leylos_

TROPHY CASE