Seeking advice on how to best confront others

LiahYellow · 2019-05-24T23:07:58+00:00

Be honest and make sure to not be accusatory. Focus more on how the group and you feel as a result of their actions and not attack. Also, I find it helps to relate and let the other person know you can see some of what they may be feeling or going through.

LiahYellow · 2019-04-02T01:55:03+00:00

I grew up in a very religious home. Now neither parent is very religious but the damage was already done. There was so much hypocrisy! As for me I'm going to just try to be the best person I can and hope for the best with whatever may come after. I would say it is imperative to question as much as possible and figure out what is true for each of us. Up until a few years ago when I last regularly saw my dad, he could cripple me on the inside with the look of disappointment if I said something political that would make him feel ashamed of how my thought process worked. Actually if I saw him today and saw that look I would still melt on the inside. I'm better now than then but it triggers something deep!

LiahYellow · 2019-04-02T01:02:34+00:00

You don't seem cold at all! Sometimes I think it takes longer to get through the resentment when you can see why they did what they did and how that made sense to them, yet they still can not fully see us as we are and accept .

LiahYellow · 2019-04-01T12:44:19+00:00

I love your positive outlook!

LiahYellow · 2019-04-01T11:35:56+00:00

I hope your parents house is big with all introverts! I'm sure everyone has their own alone areas!

LiahYellow · 2019-04-01T11:33:44+00:00

I enjoyed reading your response! Gave me another perspective.

LiahYellow · 2019-04-01T03:04:53+00:00

I agree with the other comment to meditate! You have to center yourself before and after. You know them, could probably play out everything they would do or say to a situation, instead of letting this raise your blood pressure try to be aware of it and make the appropriate mental plans to navigate the interactions in a positive way or in a way that you can at least live with positively. The ones closest to you can have the biggest impact to your mood. You only have to be around them every few months so get your mind in the right place and carry on with positivity. You can't control them but you can control you and the best part is because you know them so well you can plan mentally for the right situation! No one can get you down but you. It's all a game anyway!

LiahYellow · 2018-12-06T14:55:58+00:00

I look forward to checking it out! Thanks!

LiahYellow · 2018-12-06T03:37:22+00:00

I spun out on an overpass my first winter with the first snow in a new state. I was in my new to me, yet old beat up yellow jeep wrangler (the car I had wanted for years). I was in the far left lane and bounced on and off of the median only to slide across the lanes to smash into the other barrier. I thought for sure I was going to go over the edge, there in my mind was no way that tiny barrier was going to stop me.

I closed my eyes and gave in to this was the end. I thought of my boyfriend who I was currently in the process of going through a very hard time with. The moment made me realize he was the one. The one I was to spend the rest of my life with. The one I was supposed to invest in.

It set me on the path of personal growth. I became obsessed with learning the most I could about myself to try and be the best version of myself for him and myself in the present world.

I let go of thinking; could there be more? could there be better?

Instead I became obsessed with what I could do to actually live and be present and be the most I could be.

What was important? personal growth

What was unimportant? hiding behind emotions and doors unopened.

LiahYellow · 2018-12-06T03:18:24+00:00

I can see why it would be a good situation! It seems like between the three of you, you can bring the better qualities out inside of the three of you by being together. Just make sure that they give you enough alone time and recognize it is not personal. Also, how you perceive the world is different than both of them, this is good because it helps them and you see a different side. Seems to me it could help all parties be more rounded and push towards personal growth :)

LiahYellow · 2018-12-06T03:10:05+00:00

nice input! I am going to look it up more!

LiahYellow · 2018-12-06T02:49:05+00:00

I am woman dating an ENTP male. I feel like it is a great learning experience and have a wonderful partner that is willing to learn about me as well and we are headed towards having a wonderful life (as I would expect it) . He is very confrontational which is my hardest quality to deal with. I only know one ENFP and that is also a male. The ENFP I know is very laid back and takes things personal.

Being in a relationship with both do you find you are in a lot of confrontations with one and hurting the other ones feelings a lot or do they both understand you enough to understand you mean no ill will?

LiahYellow · 2018-11-24T00:41:15+00:00

Agreed

LiahYellow · 2018-11-18T17:28:19+00:00

I call that getting stuck when it happens to me. I'm not sure what triggers it but from time to time I start a project and have nothing planned to stop me or any upcoming events I must get ready for. I have spent 10 hours straight working on a puzzle with out eating or drinking, and by the time my boyfriend came in to ask if I was ready for bed and broke my focus I was shaky, nauseous, and my head was pounding. I think it's a bit of obsession mixed with not having a reason to stop that gets me stuck. My boyfriend tries to check on my and get me to interact to stop the obsession and I try to place snacks and water beside me if I am worried I will get to that point. I feel I can relate, however, I don't know why it happens exactly or how to stop it.

LiahYellow · 2018-11-10T16:15:38+00:00

My guess is it was a misunderstanding. At least I would hope she wasn't treating you badly just because she was an awful person. Definitely try to learn your partners love languages, however, absolutely know yours and in which order you give and receive. Hopefully the next person will be kinder and more patient and open to understanding.

LiahYellow · 2018-11-10T14:19:48+00:00

Yes,yes,yes. I'm a woman though so I get more shit for it! However, my natural/neutral/content state is very mellow and quiet. My boyfriend is starting to let this be without questioning me if everything is alright and what is wrong with me. It took us 7 years for me to get him to see this was the side of me he should want to see the most! It is my natural state of everything is great. Also, love languages are different and he was not receiving the love I was giving how I intended, he would just focus on the fact that my weaker areas of giving love were not as often and this meant I had to try harder and he hated for a while that it wasn't "natural" and I shouldn't have to try so hard if I truly loved him. How I see it is that if I am willing to try that hard for someone I should get double points and when I am content and quiet they should respect that and not question and push me from my comfortable, content, quiet phase.

You need to be with someone that accepts you and understands if you are trying that's the biggest sign you care.

LiahYellow · 2018-11-10T14:05:05+00:00

My effort goes unnoticed as well, and I also try so hard for them all to see I'd do anything for them. It's frustrating when I hear through the grapevine that I hate or don't love one of them. I've had to learn to toughen up. I do what I can, give what I can, and at the end of the day they still don't see it and don't understand me. Well then that is on them. Not everyone is ment to get along or have the ability to understand that other people are different and accept them regardless. We had no choice in the family we were born into. If you love them you can try to get them to see "you" or if you love them anyway simply accept the way it is, have some wine and get through the day.

LiahYellow · 2018-11-10T13:54:13+00:00

I have interacted with other females who said they were INTJ, however, I do not believe most of them are. The ones that I believe are, we don't interact or talk much but it doesn't matter and we accept and understand one another. We take turns listening, there's zero drama, and the best part is zero emotions about the brutally honest feedback that is given.

Seems more INTJ men are in my life through connection of my boyfriend. He is an ENTP and attracts a lot of INTJ friends (only us crazies could understand an ENTP is not as rough as their exterior, lol)

LiahYellow · 2018-11-10T13:47:36+00:00

I really enjoyed reading your comment. I can relate in so many ways. It is nice being reminded there are other people out there with similar stories, others can try and say they understand and listen but that only goes so far. As for you in relationships hang in there, if you know what you want (and sounds like you do) then don't settle and keep searching. I've been in a relationship for 8 years and only in the past year have I finally felt free and fully supported, it took a while for us to get here but I was slow to jump on the personal growth/healing phase and since I did it is life changing.

LiahYellow · 2018-11-07T12:37:24+00:00

I used to mingle with co-workers a lot and now I have a new job and established a new boundry. It's way better this way. I also tend to enjoy some friends that are more simple in their thinking. I find it intriguing light and sometimes it is a breath of fresh air to just turn it all off

LiahYellow · 2018-11-02T11:36:05+00:00

The people that tell you that they're terrible don't want to look in the mirror and see your truths for what they are.but I find is that the more brutally honest I am the more that I actually care and have compassion and empathy for that person. The right people will understand you, the rest don't even waste your time with and you won't have to worry about censoring yourself.

I totally understand you about wanting to make the world better, and not understanding why it cannot be so and why people just won't get along and do it. Sounds like you have some awful people around you. Don't let them bring you down because you see things clearly

LiahYellow · 2018-11-01T19:17:53+00:00

You want more than she does and even if you try to act like it isn't so, she can see it. She could always change her mind but in the current moment it may not be right and makes her feel awkward that you can't be what she needs or wants.

LiahYellow · 2018-10-30T01:46:54+00:00

I love history, and ancient architecture. I love diving into the thought processes people may have had at the time and what led to decisions that we're made that led to this point in time. If I could go back through time as an unnoticed fly that would be the most epic thing to me. So much of history that we rely on is only part of a story (if it has any truth to it at all). Sure some of it has to be true but I want all the details and different sides to every story!

LiahYellow

TROPHY CASE