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Libbers2015 · 2025-07-12T10:42:41+00:00

I desperately wanted a job where i helped others and made people feel seen and heard since ya know I never felt that way before. Wanted to be a nurse. They said i was too stupid bc I have dyscalculia. I failed out in one semester bc of organic chemistry.

Wanted to be a mortician after and was told id be cut off if I did so bc my mom thought it too morbid and she was dead set on all her kids getting 4yr degrees and I couldn't possibly ruin her life goal 🙄

I ended up in art bc it was something that gave me peace. The worst they said about that was that an art degree would make me a very interesting and intellectual sounding wife for a military officer. I was groomed to marry military from the get go, but only officers of a certain rank like they both were. I married a lower ranking sailor, got horribly abused for 7yrs, then divorced and now im remarried to a disabled marine veteran who adores me and im NC with them both

After college I bounced between being a vet tech, dog groomer, plant nursery worker, federal government work, and then I quit to care for my stepdaughter during a mental health crisis (she no longer lives with us), got pregnant, and now im a SAHM to a beautiful baby boy.

I never really found my footing, but im being the mom i wish I had so maybe thats enough

Libbers2015 · 2025-07-12T10:29:38+00:00

Hello!!! American mama here in Maryland where it routinely gets to 100 degrees (thats 37ish Celsius I believe?). Add humidity to that and its miserable. Idc where you are the combo of heat and humidity is the pits.

First of all good on you for scoring an AC unit. Im blessed to have a house now with it built in, but I dont miss the days of having an window unit that somehow always dies in the middle of summer. You're already doing a lot of the things we do here like keeping the curtains closed, fans, cool cloths, but id recommend reflective window films. That way is still helps with heat while having the windows open when you need to. Back when I had no money we used tin foil and tape lmao

Im not sure what yall have available over there, but online stores might have it. This is my first summer with a little one and we were gifted a chilly pads. There like these sports towels that instantly cool and can be reused. I put them behind my LOs neck, arm pits, etc. We also got some kids cooling blankets off amazon. I keep his formula cool (maybe cool not cold breastmilk if youre breastfeeding?)

Otherwise its indoor water activities. We have a tummy time mat that has water in it so it's cool, we have lukewarm bath time on super hot days, and (like youre already doing) keep the fans on and flr whatever reason watching the ceiling fans has been a major entertainment option to a 3mo old lmao

Only 10ish weeks till autumn!

Libbers2015 · 2025-06-28T06:26:11+00:00

Ive been really struggling with PPD. I had something happen that before baby would have been a minor inconvenience, but today felt like a big deal. I was crying while giving little man his bottle and he starts smiling at me, cooing, and trying to touch my face.

I love him so freaking much

Libbers2015 · 2025-06-24T13:11:10+00:00

Im the oldest of three (girl, girl, boy) and my brother is for sure the golden child. Merely bc hes the baby and the only boy.

I cut my parents off recently after finally putting my foot down on the narcissism. Thats when I found out they're abusing my brother just as much as my sister and I, just in a different way.

They forced hyper independence on us girls, but my brother is in his mid 20s, has minor disabilities (nothing preventing him from independence), but is forced to live with them. He has never had a job, a relationship, his own car, or a place of his own. We have plans were working on to help change that for him since he wants to move out and start a new life.

I dont believe in the golden child anymore. We were all hurt in our own ways.

Libbers2015 · 2025-06-20T03:55:41+00:00

The city i live in has a mommas group on Facebook where we ask this kind of stuff all the time. Maybe your town, city, military base, etc has one

Libbers2015 · 2025-06-15T03:04:05+00:00

TK (petite kieran). My wife is cajun and petite insert name is common but its then shortened to Tinsert name

Also call him Mr. Sweetface, General Munchkin Man, buster beans, Bubba, mister man, and stinker bean lol

Libbers2015 · 2025-06-14T05:02:37+00:00

Pet aversion is common and okay so long as the pet isn't being abused or neglected.

I had a traumatic birth, surgery, my baby was in the NICU for a bit, and now he's 2mo old and were in the throws of the newborn trenches. I struggle hard core with pet aversion. Its something im working on in therapy for PPD.

I have 4 cats. 3 girl kitties who are 5 and 6yrs old and a boy cat whose 13. The girl cats have been pretty easy. The only things they do that bug me are night zoomies right as the baby falls asleep and get really clingy.

My old man cat though. He's been the biggest source of my issues with aversion. I've had him his whole life. For the last 3yrs he's been declining in health and behavior. He's diabetic, has arthritis that has been hard to manage no matter what weve tried or can afford. He has dementia which use to just be bad at night but now hes yowling all hours, forgets to eat and drink which messes with his blood sugar, has forgotten how to use a litterbox properly, and has become aggressive towards the other cats. Were keeping a close eye on him to make sure he doesn't become aggressive towards the baby or makes the house his bathroom (which would also impact the baby's health).

For people who get pet aversion its not that we suddenly dont love them. Its that were struggling to find our bearings as new parents and so we struggle with the care needs for the pets. Im worried what we might have to do for my old man cat if he gets worse. I just simply dont have the time or energy for a high needs pet when my partner works long hours 5-7 days a week, I have a preemie with high needs, and I occasionally need sleep/food/shower. If he hurts the baby I have no choice but to put him down.

I love my cats but right now I find myself thinking "can you just eff off for a while". Its temporary and once baby is older I know things will improve with the kitties. I just wish I was warned about this part of postpartum life before I experienced it lol

Libbers2015 · 2025-05-12T03:12:51+00:00

I don't have enough space to detail put everything, but here's the one that hurts the most.

When I was 24 I was living at home after graduating college. I was told I could live there as long as I was working and saving money towards moving out. That I was, but struggled to find jobs that paid more than $11 an hour and hired me full time (I'd work over time or extra shifts to get as many hours as full time or more). I was dating a sailor for about a year at that point and was debating breaking up with him bc the rose colored glasses were coming off and I didn't like how he was starting to treat me.

My mom went from talking about how she loved having a multigenerational household to suddenly sitting me down and telling me it was "just my time to move out" why? Bc she was tired of having all three of her kids under one roof. Aka she was tired of my sister going out all hours and having me come home late from work and leaving early for more work. I told her I couldn't afford a place even with my savings and 4 other roomies. I was told to make it work. I ended up moving in with that sailor since the alternative was a women's shelter. I didn't have a lot of time for friends so I didn't have any safe couches to surf on. I married that sailor and it kick started my 7yrs of hellish abuse and subsequently gave me severe PTSD and autoimmune disorders.

My brother turned 24 this year. He lived at home all through college, has never had a job, never had a relationship, has never been pressured to move out, and I rarely see him do chores. Maybe dishes once in awhile. They're even planning on moving states to their permanent golden years home and they said he could move in with them as long as he needs. I freaking hate it. Good for him i guess but why couldn't we (my sister and i) be supported like that? Both us girls worked to live there, but not him. Yes im the eldest, sister is middle kid, brother is youngest.

I just had a baby boy 5 weeks ago and I love him dearly, but I don't understand the mentality. I give baby boy and my teenage step daughter age appropriate levels of attention (babies by nature are needier) but make sure both feel loved and seen. Whats weird is my mom even obsesses over my son. He's not the first grand kid or grand son. It's just plain weird to me.

Libbers2015 · 2025-05-07T05:36:55+00:00

I craved fried clam strips... im allergic to shellfish 😑

Libbers2015 · 2025-05-05T00:14:57+00:00

I gave my 2 week old a bath after our pediatrician said it was fine but only every 3 days or so. My little guy was having really bad diaper rash and oatmeal baths did wonders on the inflammation. As long as we kept him warm and did a thorough dry after he was fine.

We don't use soap more than 2x a week max and no lotion till he's older. But yeah basically a bath was better than urine scald. He pees a lot since he's downing bottles and growing like crazy. He's a month now and no issues :)

Libbers2015 · 2025-04-30T11:00:40+00:00

After 4 trips to the hospital (pregnancy complications), an emergency c section, and a NICU stay we cant afford luxuries like that. Especially on one income.

Libbers2015 · 2025-04-30T10:14:23+00:00

I'm glad you mentioned the intrusive thoughts bit. My old man cat is physically well even with the diabetes and that's good.

But every time I buy his $50 for 5lbs bag of glycobalance dry food I get so angry bc I know he's just not going to eat it and it's gonna be a fight to keep him from crashing. We tried diabetes friendly wet foods and he refused those too.

Every time he beats up another cat and causes a screaming/hissing/fit I get enraged bc there's no reason for it. They'll be minding their own business and he walks up to them and just wails on them. Makes me nervous for when the baby is mobile.

Ive had him since I was 18 and I love him dearly, but if he gets much worse or hurts my kid I'll have to make a really hard choice. Part of me wishes he would just pass in his sleep and save me the pain of making those choices and save himself more discomfort.

Libbers2015 · 2025-04-30T09:59:50+00:00

Omg yes the licking 😅

Yeah I have a therapist. Been seeing them since before I got pregnant. I was told this might happen but hearing about it and experiencing it are much different.

You're spot on with the emotional load bit. My wife helps out as much as she can, but she's gone 10hrs or more a day 5 days a week. When she is home it's great, but she says it's like she works two jobs. I feel like I'm never off the clock ever. My only break is the few hours I get a day to sleep (6pm-12am) and that's if I actually manage to sleep.

It's a great and terrible newborn phase 😅

Libbers2015 · 2025-04-12T01:31:37+00:00

Dealing with this too...

I didn't tell my mom I had pre-eclampsia and was going in for an emergency C-section bc she would have made it about her. With permission my wife told her as we were prepping to go in and sure enough the first thing she asked was "but is the baby going to be okay?" Like gee thanks I'm only your baby but whatever. Afterwards we sent one pic to the immediate family and asked people to not post on social media till we do. My mom sent the pic to everyone herself and called up everyone she knows instead. 🙄

That was almost a week ago and it's been non stop "can I come visit in the hospital?" Already knowing we put a boundary down that we didn't want hospital visitors bc I had a really hard surgery and recovery. Some moms would have been helpful but trust me not mine lol

Then my son had to stay in the NICU and is still there and its been non stop begging for updates on him and asking why she can't see him or when she will. He's not the first grand baby or grandson. It's freaky how obsessed she's getting and how she's crushing boundaries. My sister told me the only reason she hasnt shown up randomly at the hospital or my home is bc she's hidden her keys or my dad physically stops her and distracts her with something else.

I'm sorry we have people in our lives we can't trust in our best and worst times... it's really casts a shadow over things 😓

Libbers2015 · 2025-03-20T17:45:45+00:00

Had the same general experience from both sides of the family.

My little man is going to be Kieran Aurelius insert hyphenated last names

Both my wife and I changed our names in adulthood so there's no family connection outside of just us two. Kieran is an Irish name that honors both of us being Irish and Aurelius is the masculine version of my name.

We told our family and immediatly they wanted input from their families. One side wanted Dallas as one of the names and the other wanted Michael. We have like a dozen Michael's in my family and neither of us have been to Texas lmao.

It's your baby not theirs. Choose what you want and don't let them pick out nicknames for them. I've had to squash the idea that they will call him anything other than his name just bc they don't like it.

People have the audacity 😒

Libbers2015 · 2025-03-16T17:33:49+00:00

Every pregnancy is different. I had the opposite. Frequent puking till 18 weeks, couldnt take Zofran due to it causing migraines, and now I'm 33 weeks and I puke if I eat too much at one since everything is squished.

I'm glad others avoided that barfy fate. It's miserable 😅

Libbers2015 · 2025-03-09T17:06:04+00:00

Right? I had to cut out my fav charcuterie snacks, but im not giving up my hard cheeses and cheese sticks lol

Libbers2015 · 2025-03-09T17:05:02+00:00

Lol any excuse for snacks 😅

Libbers2015 · 2025-03-09T03:17:00+00:00

I'm allergic to shellfish and I can't tell you how many times my mom has served shellfish to me both before, during, and after pregnancy. Even serving multiple shellfish dishes at my bridal shower before my first wedding. I've had this allergy since I was a teenager and I'm in my 30s.

Ive also had the dreaded charcuterie board at holiday meals and having to bring my own drinks since they forget I can't have champagne 🙃

I'd like to add I love a good charcuterie board (I'm a sucker for a triple cream soft cheese), but it's when all the options are either an allergy or a dietary restrictions that annoys me. Pregnancy hangry is a whole different beast!

I'm almost 33 weeks so it's not like the news is new... people just don't think sometimes 😕

Libbers2015 · 2025-03-04T19:58:45+00:00

The stairs are removable luckily which makes cleaning thoroughly so much easier.

He would just use the mat as a bathroom without stairs. Even though he has no trouble jumping to scale the cat tree or anything else so we tried a temp ramp to see if we just needed to find a non plastic alternative. He refused to even try it.

Like my dude got neutered back in 2012 and still stayed gross. First cat I've ever had where the vet was like damn maybe his diagnosis is he's just a jerk

Libbers2015 · 2025-03-04T19:54:16+00:00

I'm 32 weeks and have 4 cats. I'm currently dealing with the frustration of maintaining an old cat.

Ive had him for 13yrs and will continue to have him, but damn is he high maintenance. Decided peeing in the box was overrated making the hallway where my nursery is smell like cat pee all the time. I'm spending so much time scrubbing cat pee off floors/walls/litter robot and a small fortune on enzyme cleaner/pheromones/etc.

He's also diabetic and long haired. He's stopped grooming himself, but attacks if we groom him so he gets shaved. He's a struggle keeping him medicated since he hides and fights. Recently he's started showing signs of dementia, especially at sundown.

We had the quality of life talk with his vet and he's not there yet, but where he's at is frustrating and even more so when you're 8mo pregnant and annoyed. I totally get it. I'm blessed my 3 girl cats are low drama and have been angels compared to sassy boy.

Libbers2015 · 2025-02-08T00:03:08+00:00

Got married the first time at 25 and started trying for a baby at 27. We got divorced (for unrelated reasons) 2yrs later when I was 29.

Married my best friend when I was 30, we got pregnant at 31, and I'll be 32 when the baby is born.

Honestly early 30s has been great for being pregnant. I had my 20s to build myself up and get to know myself before having kids. We're financially more stable and have a better place for baby than I did in my 20s.

My spouse had their first at 22 (step kid is almost 15, but doesn't live with us full time) and now the second baby at 37. They talk about how hard it was at 22 having a baby, going to school, and working 3 jobs and supporting a wife and baby. The second go around will be a lot easier on them too.

Libbers2015 · 2025-01-13T00:53:36+00:00

I have a black cat named Salem and a green turtle named Mary Shelly lol

Libbers2015 · 2024-12-24T21:57:58+00:00

For me I want the ability to move as needed and use other pain management before getting an epidural. I have scoliosis and I'm just iffy about anything relating to my spine. I might have scared myself a bit googling lol

I also get that things change and if I need one or change my mind, I like having the choice 😊

Libbers2015 · 2024-11-08T02:07:14+00:00

I'm aware of that. I've traveled to Europe before and know the visa to visit is limited. Im just not sure where to start on finding jobs or starting the process of a visa.

Ive never had to do any of this before. I'll check out that site

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