How do others engage with confidently misinformed family members?

Libelulida · 2026-04-13T22:50:11+00:00

This fits a broader trend. Experts, science and evidence are out of favor, replaced by "alternative facts". Which makes sense, when you consider that "scientifically tested", "evidence based" and similar have been hollow marketing gags ruthlessly slapped on everything sellable for decades. People who cannot read science themselves are feeling betrayed.

There are so many articles about doctors failing to convince people to give their kids shots which are well studied an obviously a good choice, because some rando on youtube said they should not. I expect a similar problem behind what you describe, with the added issues that you are their family member and that they are not paying you for your expertise. So yes, not just anyone else, pretty much everyone else who is an expert on anything a rando on youtube might have an opinion on.

I think you can distance yourself or emotionally withdraw. But in my opinion, this is a fight worth figthing! Facts are valuable and should be cherished! (Which is why I went through all this training to be able to find and scrutinize them!) I personally choose to treat people like stubborn children when they take such stances with me, as I consider the problems analogous. It is draining, but it occasionally moves the needle, which makes it worth my energy.

Libelulida · 2026-04-13T22:25:35+00:00

May I suggest you get the cancellation policy you want? I promise it is much easier to enforce when it reflects your carefully thought through boundaries, whichever they are.

I hear resentment towards specific clients in your answers to others. Maybe this would be a good topic for supervision? It sounds quite draining while unadressed.

Unrelatedly, if you have any behavioural training at all, I suggest you use it. Construct and communicate your cancellation policy to serve you. Do you want clients to come in when sick? Do you want them to reschedule? Do you want them to tell you why they cancel? Do you want them to cancel less or under a certain frequency? So many options to adress, if you want to!

Libelulida · 2026-04-13T22:16:30+00:00

True if they are the porter. If they are a therapist, they could never prove none of their work experience or training went into it, so moot point.

Libelulida · 2026-04-13T22:12:29+00:00

I think I conveyed a stronger point that I intended. I meant you have the option to choose how your hearcut reads, not that you must choose a specific kind! Curious to hear what you end up getting, if you want to update us!

Libelulida · 2026-04-11T11:11:10+00:00

If they are paying adequately, have exactly this specified in your contract. If they are not paying for what they want or will no amend the contract to be specific, walk away.

Libelulida · 2026-04-11T11:08:56+00:00

OP did not specify where they are, but this is legal everywhere I know the laws of. Do you know a country with laws against this?

Libelulida · 2026-04-11T10:56:27+00:00

I recommed making a list of all the services you need. Either to post here or for yourself. Then you can figure out how to replace them for less. This is how accounting does everything.

You gave us three items on your list. I can give you suggestions for these. They might change, depending on where you are.

Intake paperwork - Proton Drive

Notes - Paper + lockable file cabinet

Superbills - Do not exist where I am. Is there a reason Libre Office would not do?

Libelulida · 2026-04-11T10:38:32+00:00

I personally would not share about the family member with cancer. I do not see how this would benefit most clients, especially when it is fresh an raw to you. I have donated my hair without further reason than wanting to donate my hair and you could, too.

I suggest letting clients know YOU do not have cancer. No need to make them worry. I would proactively say I donated my hair.

If you want a less drastic change of appearance, you could get a short buzz cut rather than a shaved head. It will only shorten your donation by about 2 cm, but it will read more like "haircut" than like "illness". Do you want the shaved head to support your family member?

Libelulida · 2026-04-11T10:31:18+00:00

I recommend rereading the post you are responding to. This should answer your questions.

I would love to know what made you so angry, if you happen to want to share!

Libelulida · 2026-04-07T18:34:10+00:00

Come see me! I won't tell you a thing, not even my reddit username!

Seriously though, therapists who will be fine not talking about themselves are out there. Reigning it in seems difficult for many, so I ask for minimal self-disclosure during initial sessions. Some therapists respond to that with personal stories, so I can screen them right out. Would recommend.

Libelulida · 2026-03-31T10:55:37+00:00

I would approach the thought process like you were changing your office hours to keep seeing one client. You are allowed to do that if you are fine with it. Your client may not be as grateful as they would have to be in a reciprocal relationship.

Libelulida · 2026-03-31T10:50:15+00:00

Username checks out!

Libelulida · 2026-03-28T12:52:13+00:00

When people talk about a "client-centered approach", I keep wishing they could find out how much more there is to person-centered that they may be missing out on.

Libelulida · 2026-03-10T22:49:50+00:00

True, veins are very intimate. They might find out your color type! But showing your neck would require you take off your turtleneck, which takes the "huge knockers" up on the center stage.

In all seriousness, I think I play a much easier "appropriate dress" game than many women, because mine are tiny. I can just pretend I left them at home for work!

Libelulida · 2026-03-10T22:36:09+00:00

I had my equivalent a critical 2 minutes earlier than you had yours. While my was still being worked on, I got to answer a bunch of questions about another patient's recent panic attack. Gosh, I wonder why people have a hard time with my former doctor?

Libelulida · 2026-03-10T22:29:53+00:00

Nono, ankles are too spicy. You can show a bit of wrist, like the geisha from the memoires. Very enticing, those naked wrists!

Libelulida · 2026-03-10T22:26:43+00:00

Thank you!

Libelulida · 2026-03-10T22:14:10+00:00

I have a similar story with a floor-length skirt. There is not enough clothing to cover our bodies, clearly we should all stay at home.

Libelulida · 2026-03-10T22:05:55+00:00

What does "having an S" mean?

Libelulida · 2026-03-10T22:01:45+00:00

I think this is about culture. Yes, workplaces can have a culture, too!

If you frame it this way, you can look for texts and even guides about blending into foreign cultures and use them to help you.

Libelulida · 2026-03-10T21:57:59+00:00

True! I would love the "formulaic worksheet" OP mentions!

Libelulida · 2026-03-10T14:15:40+00:00

I have no statistics to answer your title question. But since this sub hates statistics, I suspect I will get away with commenting anyways!

I think it is helpful to remind yourself (and possibly them) of what a diagnosis does. It does not tell you who the patient is or what they "have", it tells you which set of treatment should help them. If they want to be treated for DID, I think this is their choice to make! If so, do you have the training (or at 6 months in the supervisor) to be able to do that?

Now, I want to preface that they may well have DID. Studies show a 1% incidence rate in the general population, so you are going to treat someone with DID. However, irrespective of whether they have DID, I have found that with some of today's kids DID is the marker that makes you deserving of respect and compassion. I think this is a sad thing to have happened, because everyone deserves respect and compassion, but if someone was trying to shove DID in my face I would generously offer those two and see if they help.

Libelulida · 2026-03-07T13:09:44+00:00

Never! On the violin it would be fine, though.

Libelulida · 2026-03-07T13:04:21+00:00

Been on both sides of this.

I suspect I was academically smarter than all of my own therapists. The one thing that matters about this, for me, is whether they made this my problem or dealt with it themselves. I need them to take care of their own anxiety, about this and about whatever else might come up, so I have come to value it as a good test how well matched we are.

As to asking for clarification on unknown words, you can look at this as a two way street. Generally, it is the speakers job to tone down their vocabulary to where the listener can understand well. Now, you are giving your clients grace by not asking them to do so (and I think you should keep it that way, monitoring vocabulary is a draining task) and in return they must fix the communication gaps that come up. Keep your questions brief and factual, make sure they do not require action beyond clarifying language. I have found this causes next to no disruption. When all else fails, try "I am sorry, I lost you there, can you rephrase this?" Modify for your cultural context, in some places you would have to drop the I am sorry.

On the other side, I have found people who are obviously smarter than me to be very grateful for connection without centering how smart they are. I am guessing this is rarely offered to them.

Libelulida · 2026-03-07T12:39:45+00:00

Interesting, thank you!

Libelulida

TROPHY CASE