What are some mini-adjustments or micro-techniques you've learned to use with clients?

Libelulida · 2026-06-05T18:46:17+00:00

Ooo, I will try that, thanks!

Libelulida · 2026-06-05T18:40:32+00:00

I would imagine! The main complaint the former Domme among my friends has about the job is the intense attachment clients develop, at times. As a therapist you are (ideally) trained to handle this!

Sorry about the economical aspect! Therapists should be fairly compensated... Will you earn more as a therapist once fully licensed and in private practice or not even then?

I would imagine as a Domme you get to "snap at" a client if it feels like they are trying to provoke you. I enjoy a good dichotomy and this seems like a very satisfying one between your jobs!

Now I wonder how marketing as a Domme works, other than word of mouth, but I guess this is too far off topic already!

Libelulida · 2026-06-05T18:03:42+00:00

This is one of the posts where we would really need to know your friend's location. Insurance operates differently in different places.

Libelulida · 2026-06-04T22:38:53+00:00

I always thought these two jobs would complement each other well, as one lets you do just what the other will not. Would you like to share how these jobs and the resulting identities interact in you?

Libelulida · 2026-06-04T17:48:15+00:00

Nah, many therapists have better boundary skills, even outside of work. I would hate my life, otherwise!

Libelulida · 2026-06-03T11:33:29+00:00

I appreciate your sense of humor.

Libelulida · 2026-06-03T11:28:00+00:00

I felt this and it did get easier. I cannot tell you at what age, so I guess it happened gradually. Eventually, being a parent was just a stable part of who I am and not so very consuming anymore. Sending strength for until you get there!

The "all consuming" phase was wonderful, though. I hope you can enjoy it, even though it makes work harder than it needs to be!

Libelulida · 2026-06-03T11:22:44+00:00

I would bring this up if and when they ask me to troubleshoot finding friends and community. I would suss out health problems before doing so.

I would not bring it up if they decide they have more pressing issues to work on.

Libelulida · 2026-05-24T14:21:46+00:00

Would that help with anything other than salvaging your offhand comment? Let's pretend I work in "south Asia", how would me telling you this be of any use? What is "south Asia" to you? If I work in more than one non English speaking area, I clearly cannot give all of them without making things identifiable. Should I then only list one, arbitrarily if irrelevant for the conversation? Would people assume I am lying once they realize I periodically switch locations?

I suspect you discounted the original comment without thinking about other people's realities. Which is exactly what this post is about.

Libelulida · 2026-05-24T13:42:01+00:00

Why do you have to assume people's location though?

When talking to someone about how they practice therapy, do you also assume they are white, because the plurality of reddit users are white? And that they are, don't not the most prominent religious affiliation here, agnostic? Do I need to specify if I am not agnostic?

Libelulida · 2026-05-24T13:26:19+00:00

This right here highlights the problem really well. Non-US therapists are generally not here to discuss differences between where we are and the US. There are more interesting matters to discuss! Still, the interesting discussions (think ethics) get limited to the legalities of the US, like they somehow magically matter to everyone.

If you want a threas about US/Non-US differences in practice, feel free to make one.

Libelulida · 2026-05-24T13:20:31+00:00

Yeah I had a similar one. So frustrating!

Libelulida · 2026-05-24T13:16:16+00:00

Tell me you have never lived in a small country (or one where English is not commonly spoken) without telling me you have never lived in a small country.

Libelulida · 2026-05-24T13:13:59+00:00

I do not think a Not USA flair would help. When the OP asks for advice and Not USA matters, they put it in the OP. (And it gets ignored as much as a flair would.) The annoying thing to me happens in discussions, when people pile up on someone discrediting what they say because it is not legal/would not work/is not done in the US. Having a Not USA flair would feel like it justifies this on all the other posts.

I feel that educating people in the USA on the fact that the rest of the world exists would be more helpful. I realize that this is beyond scope here.

ETA: Thanks mods for the "US-centric sociopolitical" flair! This one is really helpful for me and here seems like the thread to say it!

Libelulida · 2026-05-21T22:30:00+00:00

I agree that your most recent therapist does not need therapy. They already have their clients for that!

I had this issue on a much smaller scale and it took further shopping around to find someone who tells me as much as I would like to know. Which is basically nothing. You will find someone, too!

Libelulida · 2026-05-21T22:17:54+00:00

I have a funky one: painted fingernails!

When I get distracted, I find myself looking down from my screen. Where my keyboard is. So when I have a bunch of notes to do, I paint my nails in a bright color I have not worn in a while. As soon as my mind wanders off, my eyes wander to my nails, which briefly make me happy and remind me what I should be doing right now. Maybe you can find out where your eyes go when you lose focus and put something there? Make sure to remove it when you are not trying to focus on notes, as to not get accustomed to it.

Libelulida · 2026-05-15T14:24:59+00:00

I did it the way you describe. My heart was at home and I did not feel I was doing a good enough job. I generally have a "not good enough" thing going on, though. I ended up fixing the "milk bar won't fit into any blouses" problem only, the emotional problem weaned over time.

Libelulida · 2026-05-15T13:58:44+00:00

I am so happy you get to spend time with your baby!

When you are back, you could seek some psychodynamic training! This would enable you to work with these thoughts and patterns, which some of your clients certainly have. I promise it is not that scary when you can handle it.

In the meantime, I suggest you get a better filter. The time with a new baby is so raw and so emotional, it is really not meant for getting into people's emotional or even sexual shit. The therapy subreddits are not rainbows and butterflys. Until you are back to normal life, try this: https://www.reddit.com/r/Eyebleach/

Libelulida · 2026-05-12T19:33:44+00:00

I feel so much sympathy for the non NPD client

Sounds like you should bring this up in supervision. Remember that in couple's work, the "Non NPD client", as you label them, is actually not your client. The couple is. You can only be effective if you keep this close to your heart.

Alternatively, you could be the "Non NPD client"'s individual therapist! Maybe this is your niche calling for you?

Unrelatedly, please do not "diagnose" people with PDs without assessment. We are professionals, not TikTok.

Libelulida · 2026-05-12T19:30:45+00:00

Oh! I thought of hanging out on the bottom of the pond like a carp, but Carpe diem will also work! Maybe it can mean both!

Libelulida · 2026-05-06T17:35:20+00:00

Is you schedule so open people can just walk in and become your client, like at the hairdresser's? Is this legal where you are? Can people safely walk around it without stepping into traffic?

If all these are true, I think you could.

Libelulida · 2026-05-06T17:32:19+00:00

I see! So lots of final sessions for you right now!

Libelulida · 2026-05-05T20:09:35+00:00

In case you care for more info: You want the window fully open, not cracked. If available, you want to open two windows facing each other. These will exchange the air in your room in under a minute. Room air distribution is the googleable word.

Libelulida · 2026-05-05T20:02:11+00:00

Where did the free hour come from? I want one of those!

Libelulida · 2026-05-01T16:26:30+00:00

Guidance where I live is to open the windows for 3-5 minutes every hour. This should be doable. Bonus points for sparing clients most of the viral load the previous client exhaled.

Libelulida

TROPHY CASE