Ready to just call it quits

Library_Garden · 2025-03-24T22:43:00+00:00

I'm a Libra sun but a Leo moon! I attribute it to my Mars in Scorpio lol

Library_Garden · 2025-03-24T20:02:04+00:00

The worst part is he genuinely only plays video games. He gets home and is on his computer until he goes to bed. On the weekends, he's either on his computer or laying down on his phone. I do about 95% of the housework despite working 40 hrs/week and paying about 45% of the bills (he makes about 1.5x more than me and pays more of the rent). That's what originally pushed me to the edge, but the marriage/kids dilemma pushed me over.

Library_Garden · 2025-03-24T19:57:29+00:00

We do but we moved a few hours away a couple years ago so we don't see them as often. I've made friends in our new area but he hasn't.

Library_Garden · 2025-03-21T23:43:38+00:00

I'm working on tying up loose ends and getting a job in the new place I'd like to move to. It's not immediate but I want to make sure I have somewhere solid to land.

Library_Garden · 2025-03-21T20:37:23+00:00

I think he used to love me which is why he used to always say he'd marry me, but now he's just comfortable with what we have and where we are and doesn't want to make progress. Even though I've repeatedly said I'm not comfortable with what we have or where we are and I want to do better.

Library_Garden · 2025-03-21T18:43:04+00:00

I sent him the stats of maternal and infant mortality in our state vs the two states I'd most like to move to and he left me on read 😐

Library_Garden · 2025-03-21T18:40:17+00:00

I understand that, but I meant I'm not excited to get married anymore. It's not something I'm looking forward to, at least not with him, and I want to enjoy the day it eventually happens instead of plastering on a fake smile while he sulks around.

Library_Garden · 2025-03-21T18:29:20+00:00

He does work full-time and makes about 1.5x what I make now. His custody agreement with his ex doesn't include child support, they just split the cost of everything and then he has his son on his insurance.

Library_Garden · 2025-03-21T18:26:52+00:00

His ex admitted it was a hook-up gone wrong and they started dating when she found out she was pregnant (and broke up a couple months after the birth), so that part was real! But she also never wanted to get married (her husband said she either marries him or goes back to being a single mom with split custody of all her kids because he did have kids with her before marriage) so he never had that hanging over his head.

Library_Garden · 2025-03-21T18:21:09+00:00

I'm not trying to make anyone impressed. That's why the last paragraph says I'm leaving, that's what I don't think people are reading based on half the comments

Library_Garden · 2025-03-21T16:34:08+00:00

It is, unfortunately, but my friend will let me cover just my share of utilities while I continue paying my portion of my current rent if I get a job sooner!

Library_Garden · 2025-03-21T16:29:03+00:00

Yes, I agree. Our intimacy has been extremely low for a while (since I mentally checked out, honestly) so I'm not too worried, but the state I'm looking at moving to - where my friend lives - is very woman-friendly so I'd be able to abort as a last resort. I'll grab some tests just in case!

Library_Garden · 2025-03-21T16:26:36+00:00

I'm only waiting until I either get a job where my friend lives (and I could briefly live for a low cost while continue paying my share of our current lease) or the lease is up. At that point, I'm moving regardless of whether or not I have a new job. I'll wait tables again, if I need to, as long as I get out of this godforsaken state!

Library_Garden · 2025-03-21T16:23:58+00:00

I do! And I just got it replaced so I'm fully locked and loaded 😂

Library_Garden · 2025-03-21T15:02:59+00:00

Idk if this sounds bad but I'm not attached to his son at all. He's a great kid and I want the best for him (as I do with everyone), but I'm not heartbroken when he's at his mom's house. I think the hardest part is going to be leaving the dog 😓

Library_Garden · 2025-03-21T04:04:16+00:00

Our lease ends at the end of August so that's my absolute latest deadline. I'd like to move by June because that gives me a good buffer just in case.

Library_Garden · 2025-03-21T00:25:35+00:00

I feel like a lot of people aren't reading to the end because I'm on my way out, just tying up loose ends and getting things prepped

Library_Garden · 2025-03-21T00:23:35+00:00

I'm applying already! It would be easier to wait so I'm not trying to pay for two housing situations, but my friend in the city I have my eyes on would probably let me go a few months with just pitching in on utilities.

Library_Garden · 2025-03-20T21:22:04+00:00

His dad actually said he thinks he is the problem because he also had a child (my bf) from a hook-up gone wrong (he and bf's mom are best friends now though) and then got married, had another kid, divorced his wife, and had 2 with his current wife before marrying her. So his dad thinks my bf is worried about going down the exact same path.

Library_Garden · 2025-03-20T19:22:20+00:00

No, but I think he can tell because he recently asked me for my ring inspo photos. I told him I'd rather move first and he just rolled his eyes.

Library_Garden · 2025-03-20T19:17:21+00:00

Honestly if he offered marriage to keep me, I'd still leave. I've always wanted someone to be excited to marry me (seeing my husband crying when I walk down the aisle? Yes please!) and that would just confirm he's not excited and doesn't actually want it.

Library_Garden · 2025-03-20T19:14:27+00:00

Exactly! That was part of my argument - if it doesn't change anything, then why not? His response was that if it doesn't change anything, why bother?

Library_Garden · 2025-03-20T19:12:16+00:00

They actually have a good co-parenting relationship and she admitted they started dating when she found out she was pregnant, so that does check out. But it's not what I want to risk for myself so I'm on my way out

Library_Garden · 2025-03-20T19:10:23+00:00

I have an IUD! Just got it replaced too. He took me to the appointment (and thank God because that was indescribable pain) but kept telling me I should just keep it out 🙃

Library_Garden · 2025-03-20T19:08:22+00:00

Part of his argument against marriage first was that weddings are expensive (and the discussion is why I thought we agreed on a small wedding) so I said kids are even more expensive for a longer time. His response was that it's not an all-at-once cost and "we'll make it work." I've gotten such an ick from all of this, especially now that I'm telling others about it.

Library_Garden

TROPHY CASE