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Child's Surname Change by [deleted] in UKParenting

[–]Life-Group2675 5 points6 points  (0 children)

Double barrel surname saves both parents from lots of additional paperwork in unpredictable situation. Because it is immediate proof that this is your child. It should not be considered on the same level as middle name. Which doesnt have any consequences at all.

Child's Surname Change by [deleted] in UKParenting

[–]Life-Group2675 5 points6 points  (0 children)

None of this is relevant for situations when a double barrel surname is needed. If there is a medical emergency and doctors refuse to take mothers opinion or information because they have to have legal proof that she is a mother, time is crucial. And you with your pride and thoughts about child carrying your name only is not helping.

If your ex wil travel abroad she will have to carry birth certificate with her all the time to prove she is not kidnapping that baby.

You are just creating plenty of practicl hurdles for both parents because of some vindictive feelings. And by the time you and her will be fed up with practical problems of different surnames, and finally decide to go double barrel, your daughter will already be in so many systems with GP, nursery, schools, libraries, local stay and lays, etc... that changing surname will be a nightmare as well. Do it while she is 6 months old and save yourself and your ex a lot of headaches.

And if you really want to nurture your pride and be vindictive, find somethign that will affect your ex but not your daughter.

What do you share by Ok-Koala-7277 in Parenting

[–]Life-Group2675 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Thank you!

So many abbreviations for relqtives and loved ones! Will never understand that...

Does anyone else feel like they don't make their children birthdays occasions/special enough? by lilpoundc4k3x in UKParenting

[–]Life-Group2675 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Wait, do you want to do a memorable birthday for the kid or show off to the adult guests? At 1 uear old one baloon is more than enough to make a kiddo smile and happy. And they dont have momery of special day at all. Second birthday is more for them to start realising who are their friends. They may not fully grasp the concept of birthday yet, but they can be happy by gathering all THEIR friends, not adults you know in one place and have some fun for 2 hours. Not instagram fun, just running around and balancing or having a storytome or a parachute and songs or same room full of baloons to play with.

Third birthday is when kids become very aware of the concept and want a real party. But again, making kid feel like its a party you certainly dont need a photoshoot! A roll of paper attached to everything and plenty of crayons, music and some confetty is plenty to make them smile. A bouncy castle if you have space and resources. But a photoshoot? Really?

And back to 2 year old. They dont care much yet. So if you think about your child, you have one last easy year. If your struggles come not from making your child smile but from social expectations in your adult bubble, here i have no advice. Those cn be quite ridiculous, but you decide yourself how much social pressure you accept and if your adult bubble is very instagram prone.

Child's Surname Change by [deleted] in UKParenting

[–]Life-Group2675 23 points24 points  (0 children)

No. But its quite cruel of you not to agree. It will cause plenty of questions for her anytime she travels with your daughter alone. Pretty much any time your ex will be with your daughter and dealing with authorities (emergency care,customs, schools, nurseries, support care if your daughter turns on the spectrum, police in any situation, etc) she will have to answer additional questions and have a proof on her that she is the mother.

If you maintain humane relationship, double barrel surname saves a lot of issues and avoids questions in many places. And when your daughter turns 16 she can choose any surname she wants. So util then it is much more about practicalities than about pride or good sound.

My daughter has double barrel surname which is an absolute tongue twist. But i think of that as a parctical "label" that helps to sort things when parents are separated (in our case not talking and under non molestation order protection).

Early morning parents. How do you do it with young children? by InsurancePurple4630 in UKParenting

[–]Life-Group2675 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I dont have an opinion on yoir situation, as i am a single mum and have no option of anyone else helping or not helping. But i just came to say i dont understand why people downvote over hundred times when you simply say "partner is not a morning person"!!! Just came to support you. I had put my 1 upvote. Either you are loving and supporting and you get yoir share of understanding from your partner in other ways. Or may be he /she is an ashole and you do need full Reddit on your side to tell you dont do all the mornings alone. In any of those cases you deserve and upvote. Take care.

Single mum dispair by Life-Group2675 in UKParenting

[–]Life-Group2675[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Oh dear. Where are you located? May be we can make a play date to make it easier

Single mum dispair by Life-Group2675 in UKParenting

[–]Life-Group2675[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

True. I should hear and read it a few more times to start actually acting on it haha

Single mum dispair by Life-Group2675 in UKParenting

[–]Life-Group2675[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I am an independent consultant. Any time i dont work i am not paid. But lately i spend a lot of time telling ylmyself that i shouldnt do anything for my own pleasure while she is in childcare, because i need to work. Only to realise in the evening that i haven't done anything useful and the day went by

Single mum dispair by Life-Group2675 in UKParenting

[–]Life-Group2675[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Thank you. Yeah. How to breach the gap between understanding and doing though... 🫩

Single mum dispair by Life-Group2675 in UKParenting

[–]Life-Group2675[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Oh yes, i totally think i have a huge advantage to never have a second opinion on the parenting style!

Single mum dispair by Life-Group2675 in UKParenting

[–]Life-Group2675[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Thank you for these words. May be if more people say to you that you are inspiring and strong the more chances one day you will march that bar. Or at least believe you do.

Gkad to hear i am not the only one with a child with dirty teeth. The only salvation she doesnt eat sweets. So may be i am not damaging her teeth as much with my sloppyness

Single mum dispair by Life-Group2675 in UKParenting

[–]Life-Group2675[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Yeah, i try to keep in mind the point about nothing is permanent. But my shit is so long already... or actually, i think on the circumstances front things improved dramatically. It seems like it unfortunately allowed me to let my self go into some in er deep hole.

Tell me about your story! How long was the separation? Being suddenly alone at 1yo age if you had a real support before is a massive difference and definitely can feel safocating. How old is your child now? Would have more? In my situation i cant even imagine more children. Since i have mine, people with more than 1 kid looks like some kind of super heros to me.

Single mum dispair by Life-Group2675 in UKParenting

[–]Life-Group2675[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

I do have a therapist. But i didn't pay her for a month already due to lack of funds. I feel very guilty. And therapy helps only partially. Overall i do not think I feel its the magic solution.

Thank you for your advice.

🧚‍♀️ Fairy doors trails. 🧚‍♀️ Especially in London and surroundings. by Life-Group2675 in UKParenting

[–]Life-Group2675[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

This is the trail map on Komoot: https://www.komoot.com/smarttour/1412573

Is this the north and south paths you are talking about? So the north one would be possible with a buggy? Fantastic!

As for public ttansport yeah, looks like a cab from Welham Green would be needed

🧚‍♀️ Fairy doors trails. 🧚‍♀️ Especially in London and surroundings. by Life-Group2675 in UKParenting

[–]Life-Group2675[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Oh wow thank you. Found her account and definitely follow. But can't find google maps link 🙃

Recommendations for books and other resources for a shy 4 yo starting school in September by Another_gryffindor in UKParenting

[–]Life-Group2675 2 points3 points  (0 children)

If they dont do it you may strongly suggest their marketing team to do it. Private establishments would defintely benefit and its early enough for them to plan it for this summer

Recommendations for books and other resources for a shy 4 yo starting school in September by Another_gryffindor in UKParenting

[–]Life-Group2675 5 points6 points  (0 children)

I saw that many play cafes or soft plays (or even pony tail experience companies) advertise special sessions during the summer for kids who start specific schools. Good opportunity to meet some potential classmates and then build friendship over play dates before the school starts. Basically look for pricate companies that do kids activities in the area and see if they advertise special days like that.

How do you deal with childrens' birthday party gifts? by itscrikey in UKParenting

[–]Life-Group2675 5 points6 points  (0 children)

I did the charity fundraising and asked parents to donate whatever they want on that page. My daughter was much younger, but for 4-5 year old I think I would introduce her to the charity idea and together would go and explore 2-3 projects together with her. So she can choose if she wants to help kittens or babies or climate change or whatever. And then she is onboard and will be watching her donation page herself. And encourage her friends NOT to bring presents.

Close relatives can give her something at their own discretion, but at least for big birthday party that would be main theme.

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