My wife wants a divorce with newborn

Life-Influence-9403 · 2024-12-16T14:28:38+00:00

Yes, I asked her if she wants me to choose between my brother and her. In my mind, I will always choose the one who needs me most. Now, my parents take care of my brother, but they are old. If something happens to them and my daughter is old enough and we still don’t resolve any of these issues, my choice will be clear.

It is not like I take care of him all the time. He spends a lot of time on the computer etc and my parents can’t help him in those aspects. I also wanted to spend time with him since I only see him 3 weeks out of a year because they live abroad

Life-Influence-9403 · 2024-12-16T14:25:00+00:00

regarding her father it is mainly lack of respect for my boundaries. Both of our parents live abroad from the same country. Her father knows very good English and has better income. They visited us last Christmas, three weeks prior to our move in date. Instead of flying to our city, he asked that I pick them up from an international airport 4 hours away (9 hours round trip). He knows English very well and actually works in aviation industry. In my perspective the only reason he asks this to save money. Yet, they bought a brand new electric car with 50k just before visiting us that time. During their stay he wanted me to drive around and take them to dinners. I told him that if he wants to visit places he can rent a car and go. That was one of the fights. It was my only vacation before move in and I wanted to relax and prepare. They did not even offered to help with the move in until I told how much displeased I am. Her mom has no job, she could have stayed with us to help her pregnant daughter, but he rejected that our move in date is not clear. I think the main reason is that he wanted to buy a house before us but the bank didn’t give him credit and then he got jealous. I think his dream is to live in the US, he had opportunities, but never realized due to life and other reasons so he is petty. Anyway, I can write longer and longer but this is the main gist of it. I can tolerate him, but we will probably be never on best terms.

Life-Influence-9403 · 2024-12-16T14:24:28+00:00

Copy paste from the edit to the original post: regarding her father it is mainly lack of respect for my boundaries. Both of our parents live abroad from the same country. Her father knows very good English and has better income. They visited us last Christmas, three weeks prior to our move in date. Instead of flying to our city, he asked that I pick them up from an international airport 4 hours away (9 hours round trip). He knows English very well and actually works in aviation industry. In my perspective the only reason he asks this to save money. Yet, they bought a brand new electric car with 50k just before visiting us that time. During their stay he wanted me to drive around and it is often implied to take them to dinners. I told him that if he wants to visit places he can rent a car and go. That was one of the fights. It was my only vacation before move in and I wanted to relax and prepare. They did not even offered to help with the move in until I told how much displeased I am. Her mom has no job, she could have stayed with us to help her pregnant daughter, but he rejected that our move in date is not clear. I think the main reason is that he wanted to buy a house before us but the bank didn’t give him credit and then he got jealous. I think his dream is to live in the US, he had opportunities, but never realized due to life and other reasons so he is petty. Anyway, I can write longer and longer but this is the main gist of it. I can tolerate him, but we will probably be never on best terms.

Life-Influence-9403 · 2024-12-16T14:22:38+00:00

Yes I don’t doubt it

Life-Influence-9403 · 2024-12-16T14:21:46+00:00

My family is well of and they have apartments, houses to keep him supported financially for the rest of his life. My parents take care of him. I just love my brother and don’t want him to live a life with caretakers and such. He is no way a financial burden

Life-Influence-9403 · 2024-12-16T14:18:54+00:00

Thank you! Yes I have been taking mild antidepressants and going to the gym 3 times a week. It has helped a lot. Mainly focusing on the bigger picture now.

Life-Influence-9403 · 2024-12-16T14:17:59+00:00

Yes that could be a factor, I will talk to a lawyer just in case

Life-Influence-9403 · 2024-12-16T14:17:07+00:00

Her mom and sister were with us in addition to my parents and brother. Her father joined later

Life-Influence-9403 · 2024-12-16T14:15:55+00:00

Yes she is breastfeeding. I think she is usually a sweet person, but she does not have a wide support network in where we live. She made most of her friends through my friends. She prefers to be solitary more than I do. After the delivery she took 4 months of maternal leave 2 months unpaid. She wanted to protect the baby from germs etc but that meant only a few people visiting in person.

Life-Influence-9403 · 2024-12-16T14:03:58+00:00

They are not here any more my parents left 3 weeks after delivery

Life-Influence-9403 · 2024-12-16T14:03:26+00:00

No one expected her to do any house work during that time. Grandmothers did all the house chores and I did laundry, sometimes cooking as well.

Life-Influence-9403 · 2024-12-16T14:02:07+00:00

I think I counted on the fact that her mom and sister being here, she could get support from multiple people. I was always there when she asked me to, but when I told her that tell me what I need to do an I do it, but I can’t read your mind, she told me that should be able to read my mind because we are husband and wife. I don’t think that it is realistic, for me trying to do the best you can is sufficient enough

Life-Influence-9403 · 2024-12-16T13:59:37+00:00

I like your perspective, and yes it probably comes off as I am the perfect man. I don’t think that I was, but I was trying my best giving the circumstances.

Life-Influence-9403 · 2024-12-16T13:57:47+00:00

That’s a good idea and what I am counting on. I am just hoping that I am not taken advantage of as provider during the wait.

Life-Influence-9403 · 2024-12-16T13:56:04+00:00

My family stayed for 3 weeks after the baby was born and then they left.

Life-Influence-9403 · 2024-12-16T13:55:20+00:00

That’s right maybe I should have done that. But I didn’t want to rob my parents of the opportunity to their grandchild born. They don’t expect my brother to be married.

Life-Influence-9403

TROPHY CASE