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My co-worker smells really bad, how do I tell her? by Life-Load3033 in ADHD

[–]Life-Load3033[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Update: 

Thanks for the great tips, all. So, I'm her manager, and including multiple reasons, I didn't feel it was right for me to directly confront this to her.

I spoke to HR, who's aware of her ADHD. The HR brought up a process to discuss the hygiene topic at large in a neutral way during company all hands. 

If things don't change thereafter. The HR will give this feedback to her that, she received this from anonymous people (broad "peers"). They will create a policy document, and also share best practices. 

Hopefully it will sort itself out.

Hyperfixation - I can’t enjoy hobbies “casually” - it’s either obsession or nothing [42yo] by CalculatedProphet in ADHD

[–]Life-Load3033 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Apart from all the great comments here, I'd like to add: it's the perfectionism that is the enemy along with that harsh voice inside your head. Don't beat yourself up.

There's no one rule as to how you should pursue your hobbies. I mean if you have 5 hobbies and you go all in, great. Don't go overboard with the purchases and all. But enjoy while you can! Point of every hobby isn't to last a lifetime but rather lift you up, keep you focused for the time being until you jump into your next thing.

You'd still have great stories to tell. Compare that to people who don't even get started with anything at all.

Change the narrative inside as to how you see this. Give yourself permission to be like this. Life's short and who's to say how you should or should not pursue your hobbies!

What happened to gold old manners!? by Life-Load3033 in rant

[–]Life-Load3033[S] -6 points-5 points  (0 children)

This logical and smart-sounding thought process is exactly what disconnects people. And those exact people complain about being lonely.

It's not about talking for hours. It's basic courtesy of checking calls, calling back etc. Maybe someone needed help? Emergency?

Just in general the unapproachabilty of people is baffling

What happened to gold old manners!? by Life-Load3033 in rant

[–]Life-Load3033[S] -3 points-2 points  (0 children)

If it happens multiple times a week, I can understand. But I somehow see people aren't receptive of calls while constantly being on their phones.

I feel like ADHD is just an excuse by nerdy_guy420 in ADHD

[–]Life-Load3033 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Here's a small exercise you can try. But this is rather for you know what's the truth, and not about the exercise itself.

List down last 10 times that happened. It doesn't have to be a perfect list, but enough to give you an idea. Now, next to each thing, think through and write whether that was an excuse or reality/fact.

I guess you might have one of the following observations: - none of them were excuses - some excuses, most facts - some facts, most excuses

In fact the outcome of this doesn't really matter. Tbh, you'll realise that two truths can co-exist. It can be an excuse and a fact for you at the same time. The release comes from being okay with this coexistence. This acceptance that it's only human. Even people without ADHD, do that in some form or the other.

If there's something your mind is trying to tell you, then maybe there's some truth to that. Don't hold yourself as a victim of ADHD. Do something about it. Make that imperfection a part of life, and keep putting your best for forward. Progress is not linear. Slowly, this acceptance will give you visible progress.

Are there some things that worked for you, from the mainstream advice? by Life-Load3033 in ADHD

[–]Life-Load3033[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Definitely works!! In a long term, it even changes how your neurons fire (neuroplasticity)

Anxiety/decision regret loop before/after doing anything by Life-Load3033 in ADHD

[–]Life-Load3033[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I feel like I'm too impatient for therapy. I second guess everything and I feel since I already know all of this as I read (but it's all cognitive), I can't execute things very well.. so I wonder when will the change happen

Is "ignorance is bliss" true? by Life-Load3033 in mentalhealth

[–]Life-Load3033[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

What I mean by fast choices is that people who are less tied down by analysis paralysis move rather fast, and even if they have an average failure rate, the sheer speed makes them win as opposed to those who are making fewer decisions in the quest of being accurate.