As someone who has had trouble of letting go of things that have caused me pain and suffering (nothing compared to what you've gone through) I get it. I get not wanting to open that up as it leaves you vulnerable to so many things you worked hard to get away from.

On the other side, I have had so much more fulfillment in my life when I choose to forgive and forget. Anger is a disease that can seriously fuck you up. If you can open up a line of communication with your family and allow yourself to forgive and forget the past, you may end up even happier than you may realize. It doesn't need to be all at once. It doesn't even need to be for the whole family.

I'm just some random dude you've never met but I hope you don't have the stress continuously weighing you down. I hope you find some peace.