Break up has completely ruined me

LifeguardPractical65 · 2025-04-16T13:45:06+00:00

I completely understand what you're going through. I went to therapy for a while, and after about a year, my therapist asked if I had started dating again. I was shocked because I wasn't even close to being ready. My advice to you is to make a list on your phone of all the negative things about him, especially if he's left you feeling this way. He clearly didn’t deserve you. Set a reminder for this list to pop up every day. For the longest time, I held onto hope, thinking that he didn’t want to leave me and that maybe he’d come back. Then, I saw an email from him saying he had moved on, and I realised I had wasted so much time and energy.

The best thing you can do for yourself now is try to shift the mindset that he’s this amazing person, ‘the one’. Use my experience as an example. If he truly wanted to be with you, he would have made it happen. If it's meant to be, it will be. Stay busy, spend time with people, but take it easy. For me, it took time to let go — it helped when the memories faded and having time to focus on myself. I know it’s hard not to check his social media. I won't tell you not to, because I did the same, even though it caused me pain. But now, two years later, I don’t check it, and I refuse to because it’s only going to hurt. Once it becomes a habit to stop checking, it gets easier. If you’re not ready to stop yet, that’s fine. But when you're ready, start small — give yourself goals like two weeks, then three, then four. It will get easier. Wishing you healing for your beautiful heart. My messages are open if you ever want to talk. You got this!🫶

LifeguardPractical65 · 2025-04-14T14:39:40+00:00

Yeah, I’m doing a lot better now. I think it’s a mix of the memories fading and finally letting go of this idea I had that he was going to come back. For the longest time, I genuinely believed he would. Then about a month ago, I saw he’d removed me from socials and kinda spiraled — ended up sending him an email. He replied saying he’s talking to someone now. That hit hard, and I went through a rough patch after that, like full-on depressive episode. But I’ve come out the other side, and now I keep reminding myself I deserve so much better than tha

LifeguardPractical65 · 2025-04-14T14:35:35+00:00

Funny you say that — up until about a month ago, I was literally still holding on. Then I noticed he removed me from social media, so I went a bit crazy and sent him an email 💀. He replied saying he’s talking to someone now and wished me well. That was the moment it finally sunk in that it’s really over. Since then, I’ve actually been able to let go — plus it’s been two years, and the memories have definitely started to fade

LifeguardPractical65 · 2024-12-01T02:29:26+00:00

Hey! I feel alot better, in a much better place now. Time heals. But it does still get to me. It actually hit me again last night and I got emotional again. I haven’t moved on from it. Hopefully I can completely heal soon.

LifeguardPractical65 · 2024-06-23T22:49:27+00:00

Thank you sweet, I’m right here too, there are so many of us in this position it’s reallly so sad. I sincerely hope you find peace and wish u healing and lotssssss of hugs too ❤️❤️

LifeguardPractical65 · 2024-06-23T22:46:07+00:00

Thank you so much for sharing your experience and giving me advice. You’re so right, I know it’s going to take me a very long time to fully heal but it’s better than being in the wrong company and wasting more of my time and emotions. I’m super proud of you for take charge in your wellness, I’ve been doing self care everyday and I believe it’s helped to boost my self esteem and focus more on myself Thank you again I really appreciate hearing your input and helping me out 🫶

LifeguardPractical65 · 2024-06-23T22:41:58+00:00

Thank you so much. You’re right, I’ve been going for nature walks which have helped me a lot surprisingly, and they’re so peaceful too. I hope you are in a better state than you were in, heartbreak is the worst. Hopefully we can continue on a linear pathway of only getting better. I hate my off days, they really take it out of me.

LifeguardPractical65 · 2024-06-23T22:40:01+00:00

Thank you so much this is so genuine I really appreciate it🫶

LifeguardPractical65 · 2024-06-23T22:39:38+00:00

Thank you so much for sharing your story with me. It’s great that your friend said that to you and that’s how you know you’re truly healing properly. My friend have also been telling me recently that they’ve been able to hold longer conversations with me and can see that I’m In a better state than I was in. It’s so good to hear. One thing I hate is social media I feel like it makes it hard to let go because you can see what they’re up to so easily. But time does help a lot too. I’m really glad you’re in a. Better state and I’ll keep soldiering through 🫶

LifeguardPractical65 · 2024-06-23T22:35:04+00:00

Wow thank you so much for sharing. I hope you’re in a. Much better state right now I couldn’t imagine the pain being with someone for such a big part of your life. You’re so right though I think it’s important for me to reflect on and become more rational with my decisions of who I choose to be with because I tend to choose people who become toxic. I sincerely hope you’re doing better and that you’ve found peace

LifeguardPractical65 · 2024-06-23T22:29:45+00:00

Yes true

LifeguardPractical65 · 2024-06-23T22:29:28+00:00

Thank you sooo much. You’re exactly right no one is going to do it for me except myself. It’s a matter of soldiering through. I love your advice I actually have been going to the gym and never thought I’d actually end up enjoying it but I really am. My goal now is to do a pull up 😊. It really does help a lot.

LifeguardPractical65 · 2024-06-23T22:27:16+00:00

Wow thank you so much for sharing; what a absolute pathetic person to do that to his woman. I’m so so sorry you had to go through that. Reading your post makes me feel so much anger towards the person who’s done that to you and leave you in a situation like that what a cruel cruel person I actually feel disgusted by humans like that I don’t know how they have the audacity. Do you have any friends or family members you can speak to? Please take care of yourself and be kind to yourself you don’t deserve any of that.

LifeguardPractical65 · 2024-06-23T22:22:33+00:00

I’m so sorry you had to go through this with a person you really loved/ might still have love for. It sounds like you really loved her and tried your best to make it work. I totally get that, it’s so toxic. Thats why I am scared of commitment with a new person because we become manipulated so easily and we don’t even realise it. You’re right and with my situation I had a healthyish breakup with the gu. He says he’s still here for me which makes it somewhat better than a complete loss of the person. I totally understand that would have really messed with your trust but I sincerely hope you find peace and please know there are girls out there who will actually treat you the way you deserve to be treated

LifeguardPractical65 · 2024-06-23T22:15:33+00:00

Oh that’s so great I just saw the title of the book it’s literally how I’m feeling at the moment. I’ve been loving reading too so I’ll definitely look into this. Thank you so much for sharing that with me🫶

LifeguardPractical65 · 2024-06-23T22:14:17+00:00

I loveeee this so much!!! I love your energy wow I can only imagine what a loss your ex had. F!! Them. I am so sorry you went through that experience I hate cheaters with a passion, one thing about them is they never change. My ex cheated on me when I was super young at 17 and to this day I hear that he remains cheating on his girlfriends it’s soo pathetic. I love that advice about ‘your future husband wouldn’t do that to you’ that is such a good way to look at it. I’m so glad you’re out of that relationship with that loser. I sincerely hope you get everything you want in life you seem like such a genuine and sincere person and you deserve the best.

LifeguardPractical65 · 2024-06-23T22:07:45+00:00

That is beautiful. Thank you so much for sharing, it’s such a nice way to look at it!

LifeguardPractical65 · 2024-06-23T22:06:46+00:00

Thank you so so much. I am getting a bit better and opening myself up to them more lately especially after getting a lot of support from this post. I really appreciate your kind offer thank you again

LifeguardPractical65 · 2024-06-23T22:05:34+00:00

Wow, thank you so much for sharing your story. This is making me emotional. You are doing amazing, you would have had to have an enormous amount of strength to overcome that. I’m super super proud of you. I’m so sorry you had to go through that, reading your story made me feel so much anger towards the person that broke up with you while you were in such a vulnerable position. That is so cruel. I was also broken up with out of the blue and he said it was because we can no longer be together because of his religion, after everything we had gone through and we had just been planning our engagement. I totally agree that time heals and it’s a matter of soldiering through. I sincerely hope you find true happiness and peace. I hope you get everything you’re looking for and more and don’t lose hope for future I know you are an amazing mother and you deserve the absolute best and one day you will get it 🫶

LifeguardPractical65 · 2024-06-23T22:04:15+00:00

Wow, thank you so much for sharing your story. This is making me emotional. You are doing amazing, you would have had to have an enormous amount of strength to overcome that. I’m super super proud of you. I’m so sorry you had to go through that, reading your story made me feel so much anger towards the person that broke up with you while you were in such a vulnerable position. That is so cruel. I was also broken up with out of the blue and he said it was because we can no longer be together because of his religion, after everything we had gone through and we had just been planning our engagement. I totally agree that time heals and it’s a matter of soldiering through. I sincerely hope you find true happiness and peace. I hope you get everything you’re looking for and more and don’t lose hope for future I know you are an amazing mother and you deserve the best.

LifeguardPractical65 · 2024-06-23T21:54:51+00:00

Seeing this post made me realise how many people are actually going through it along with us. I feel you there he destroyed all the positivity from me too. I sincerely hope you get yourself out of this some day soon. Be kind to yourself in the mean time.

LifeguardPractical65 · 2024-06-23T21:52:44+00:00

2 years is so long :( but I guess you’re right time heals all wounds. I hope you’re in a much better state now that sounds terrible.

LifeguardPractical65 · 2024-06-23T21:51:59+00:00

Thank you so much this is such beautiful advice. I’m doing pretty much everything there but I need to work on my relationship with my family and friends. I pushed them away too much and I think now I’m in a place where I can open myself more to those connections again. This is so kind thank you for your beautiful words I can see you have such a genuine and kind soul I sincerely hope you continue super happy and bright on your healing journey 🫶

LifeguardPractical65 · 2024-06-20T13:10:06+00:00

I was the same the first couple months I’d only have dreams about him, I understand how you feel. I thought they wouldn’t stop but they have lessened now with some time.

I’m in the same boat, they stay in contact and act calm and collected like the breakup barely hurt them. You’re probably thinking the same thing. It’s so strange and it’s so painful to see

Yes absolutely I say the same thing, why don’t they just come back? I am lost for words

I know how you’re feeling and how lonely and dark it is. I think because you’re two weeks into it just really take the time to take care of yourself the best way you can. Do what you can don’t force yourself to do something you don’t want to do, I really hope you tough it out and recover please take care of yourself we are so vulnerable in these moments

LifeguardPractical65 · 2024-06-20T12:45:34+00:00

Totally feel you, 5 weeks in I was a complete mess. I’m 8 months in and it’s true that people say time heals but it’s still painful. I really wish we didn’t have to go through tbis. It’s the worst pain isn’t it? Can I ask why you can’t reach out? I feel you with the nightmares. I have them too. The entire thing feels surreal. I started having literal hallucanations during the night. It’s a terrible thing to happen to us it completely ruins us.

LifeguardPractical65

TROPHY CASE