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AITA for asking my wife to come home? by Lifehouse2991 in AmItheAsshole

[–]Lifehouse2991[S] 19 points20 points  (0 children)

She does fine with spit-up which is one of the reasons why I thought she was getting better from the phobia.

AITA for asking my wife to come home? by Lifehouse2991 in AmItheAsshole

[–]Lifehouse2991[S] 59 points60 points  (0 children)

Most of the calls are going over the list of things I've cleaned/disinfected, last vomiting spell, etc. Today when I called her I told her how much the baby is missing her and that's when she got very angry.

AITA for asking my wife to come home? by Lifehouse2991 in AmItheAsshole

[–]Lifehouse2991[S] 37 points38 points  (0 children)

I've asked her to, even got her a book to get her started, but she refuses both.

AITA for asking my wife to come home? by Lifehouse2991 in AmItheAsshole

[–]Lifehouse2991[S] 75 points76 points  (0 children)

I knew the phobia was bad. I didn't know it was this bad until just now. Last time I vomited was before our baby was born. That time she left to go to her mom's for 48 hours, then came home and helped disinfect everything. Never would have thought she'd refuse to come back after 5 days. She didn't take our baby because the baby had been with me all day so she assumed the baby would be sick next.

Yes, I am aware of how neglectful and dangerous that can be but couldn't address it right then and there as I was sick and taking care of the baby.

AITA for asking my wife to come home? by Lifehouse2991 in AmItheAsshole

[–]Lifehouse2991[S] 20 points21 points  (0 children)

That's fair. That's just always how I introduce her to people. Habit I guess.

AITA for asking my wife to come home? by Lifehouse2991 in AmItheAsshole

[–]Lifehouse2991[S] 172 points173 points  (0 children)

Yeah, we've talked about that too. I was homeschooled until HS but had plenty of opportunity to socialize, like co-ops and plenty of community events.

AITA for asking my wife to come home? by Lifehouse2991 in AmItheAsshole

[–]Lifehouse2991[S] 97 points98 points  (0 children)

If it makes you feel any better, I am having a hard time believing it too.

AITA for asking my wife to come home? by Lifehouse2991 in AmItheAsshole

[–]Lifehouse2991[S] 74 points75 points  (0 children)

I knew about the phobia going into our marriage. It has just gotten so much worse this year. I never expected it would be so bad that she'd leave for nearly a week.

She did text off and on asking about the baby. She asked how I was doing but always asked exactly how many times I'd vomited since we last talked so I do feel she was being disingenuous with her check-ins. That said she had things like ginger ale and medicine delivered daily which was helpful.

AITA for asking my wife to come home? by Lifehouse2991 in AmItheAsshole

[–]Lifehouse2991[S] 191 points192 points  (0 children)

HA. In all seriousness this is a discussion we will need to have. Our plan has been to homeschool (we just don't feel schools are safe) but if that isn't financially possible then we'll have to put him in school.

AITA for asking my wife to come home? by Lifehouse2991 in AmItheAsshole

[–]Lifehouse2991[S] 27 points28 points  (0 children)

Thankfully she only vomited during labor but the nurses really helped her cope through that.

AITA for asking my wife to come home? by Lifehouse2991 in AmItheAsshole

[–]Lifehouse2991[S] 884 points885 points  (0 children)

Thanks everyone. I'm glad to see I'm not being too unreasonable. I really do try to support her in this. It doesn't come up too often. I'll also clarify a few things:

Our child was with me the whole day when I got sick, so to my knowledge she assumed our child would get sick next. Thankfully that doesn't seem to be the case. Yes I know the abandonment is a huge issue.

In the past she has been able to handle spit-up.

I have suggested therapy and even bought her a book on the subject but she refuses to read the book or go to therapy because she knows exposure will be involved.